The Dysregulated Podcast

A couple of beers, one old song, and suddenly I’m right back in the headspace that kicked off Manchester Madness . But before I even set foot in the UK, there’s a pretty big blind spot in this story that I need to own. This isn’t just my story. It’s also the story of a woman who got pulled into the chaos of my untreated, untamed Borderline Personality Disorder — and wore far more of the emotional...

I didn’t plan to record again so soon, but the last chat about Manchester lit something up that I couldn’t ignore. After I stop talking, I’m back walking Newcastle Beach, doing that familiar late-night scan of the stars and asking the same old question: why am I still alone? The unsettling part is that life looks different now and I’ve done so much work on myself, yet the feeling lands in the same...

A six-month university semester to study in Manchester, United Kingdom was supposed to be the adventure of a lifetime. Looking back, it became the dividing line between thinking I was coping and realising there was a hell of a lot more going on in my head than anxiety and depression alone. Walking along Newcastle Beach (like so many times before), I kick off Manchester Madness , a three-part serie...

CONTENT WARNING: Themes of suicidaility and drug use   Back in Newcastle for the weekend, I jump in the car and let the city tell the story. We drive past the places that shaped me, from the University of Newcastle and the pressure of honours, to the Mater Hospital where survival became the priority. It's a raw, real-time reflection on what it's like returning to the streets that forged...

Anxiety doesn’t always show up when something goes wrong. Sometimes it hits hardest when nothing’s happening at all. Sitting in the bunk at Ravensworth (Hunter Valley) with the UHF crackling and a two-hour wait ahead of me, my brain starts running wild, replaying mistakes that haven’t happened, imagining consequences, and convincing me they’re inevitable. In this episode I talk about catastrophisi...

Why is it so hard to do things that should be easy? In this episode, I unpack a pattern that has followed me for as long as I can remember: putting off even the simplest tasks until they build into a mountain of overwhelm. From shaving and grocery shopping to university commitments, podcast episodes and launching Resilient Roadways, I explore what happens when ADHD and Generalised Anxiety Disorder...

Driving through Newcastle in the rain, I found myself asking the question I hate considering after recording: what if being honest does more harm than good? This episode is about loneliness, uncertainty, and the fear that some parts of life might never happen the way you imagined. I talk about living between Newcastle and Wodonga, long days in trucks, coming home exhausted, and wondering whether r...

The highway is supposed to be quiet, but my mind never is. On a 9pm drive from Newcastle down the Hume Highway (M31) toward Wodonga, I record another Highway Confessions and let you sit in the passenger seat that is usually empty. What starts as my favourite coping strategy for complex mental health quickly turns into the kind of deep thinking that can feel like standing too close to a fire, warm...

Six weeks into my new job and it’s been one long stretch of anxiety. I’m recording this on the Hume Highway, driving between Newcastle and Wodonga, finally explaining why I’ve gone quiet. I’ve thrown myself into learning truckin’ properly—Road Ranger gearboxes, reversing semi trailers, using the dogs annd chains. And the pressure? Relentless. This episode dives into what it’s like starting from ze...

After years focused on mental health, I’ve made the call to return to the transport industry. To try and live out my dream, but with a new sense of purpose.   In this episode, I unpack why; the pull of the highway, the reality of stepping back into an environment that still makes me anxious, and what it means to start again from the ground up. There’s no polished blueprint here yet, just an honest...

It’s 2:40am on the highway, driving home to Newcastle. No planning or preparation with this one — just the road and all my mind has been contending with. The same obsessions, the same questions. But tonight? It’s gone up a gear. I get into the deep stuff, the thoughts that have followed me for years — why do bad things happen to good people? — and where that leads: loneliness, relationships, and l...

Some days are flat. The milestones drift. The questions feel heavier than they should. In this episode, I talk honestly about pressing pause on romance and pouring that energy into purpose — advocacy, community, and building work that actually fits the season I’m in. We unpack life with multiple diagnoses — generalised anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, ADHD, autism, BPD, bipolar II — without turning i...

Ever felt calmer in a roaring stadium than a quiet supermarket? In this episode, I unpack the strange maths of social anxiety and autism — and why a packed night at McDonald Jones Stadium can feel safer than a fluorescent aisle at Coles. I walk you through hyper-vigilance, sensory overload, and the stories my brain spins when I’m late, lost, or convinced someone’s in “my” seat. And underneath it a...

Right, picture this. It’s 2:30am. I’ve been bounced off half of Sydney’s motorways on the way back from Albury-Wodonga, the NSW/VIC border, and I’m talking myself through a full-blown panic attack because, well, everyone else is asleep. Zzzz Today started as a quick meet and greet and hit top gear — strapping freight, riding in an Kenworth and remembering why I love the transport industry so much....

Borderline Personality Disorder has a habit of sending me down to the beach, to ask the big questions about life. To try and think my way through its distortion of my reality. Just like the waves in front of me, this time the memories have come flooding in. In this episode I’m sitting on the sand at Bar Beach, where I revisit some of the hardest truths that I can only now accept, about love and re...

Jay is someone I have wanted to interview on the podcast for a long time. And if you listen to his story you'll understand why. What really sets Jay and his story apart, for me at least, is the steps that have been made to be able to engage with life in a healthy, balanced manner. In this episode he introduces me to a new paradigm, one that I had been reluctant to accept. How the breath is th...

In this episode of The Dysregulated Podcast  I talk about living without a “baseline” and the swings between days of huge momentum and days where everything stalls. Living with ADHD and BPD means my capacity isn’t always stable, and when I run hot — big output, little sleep, racing thoughts — it can feel productive right up until it isn’t. I unpack how workaholic thinking, the inner critic and imp...

Dysregulated Daily is a daily check-in video series designed to capture what the big episodes often miss, the reality of mental health day to day in all its chaotic forms. Instead of focusing only on mood, I introduce capacity as the core signal: how much usable emotional, cognitive, nervous-system, and functional bandwidth I actually have to engage with life. My reality is of a dysregulated heads...

This episode is about a hard reframe: stepping back from the dream of marriage and family, not out of bitterness, but honesty. Instead, I am investing my energy where growth is actually possible (I hope). I talk about the grief that brings up for my inner child, the relief that comes with clarity of direction, and why focusing on career and purpose isn’t avoidance but a sign of maturity of the sel...

A sunrise over Newcastle, a phone balanced in my car, and a decision to stop waiting for bloody perfection. In the next fortnightly check-in, I talk about the creative bottleneck that’s stalled a head full of episodes, how expectations kill momentum (again), and why pressing record is so important (as it uploading). It’s about choosing ANYTHING and focusing on consistency over polish, and naming t...

What if your best ideas arrive amongst a wave of dysregulation and mania?  This episode dives into that blurry space where genuine inspiration mixes with bipolar highs, BPD intensity and ADHD momentum. The hard work of figuring out what’s real before it costs you dearly. I share the checks I use when ideas start firing: grounded excitement, steady thinking, intact sleep, the 24-hour rule. I talk a...

What happens when social anxiety crashes the recording session? Finally, I return to the mic after a short break, battling a new swallowing issue (anxiety?), performance nerves, and that familiar inner critic. It’s an honest look at showing up imperfectly and refusing to let anxiety call the shots. No way bucko! In this episode, I reflect on what’s been happening lately in my world: winning the Un...

Good days don’t last forever which is why they need to be used wisely. In this episode, I talk about using the times when mood, energy and motivation finally line up to take full advantage by being action-orientated and not just sitting back relaxing. How it's important to prepare for the eventual drop that's coming. Because it's true that as humans we have to endure both the good a...

This episode looks at what happens when perfectionism gets in the way of creating anything at all. Over the past month, I've been stuck in the repetitive obsessive-cycle of record, doubt, delete, repeat. Each recording felt...off. And my inner critic made sure I knew about it. I talk through what it feels like, the hesitation before pressing record, the pressure to get it exactly right, and h...

**To watch both the audio and video from this webinar please follow  https://youtu.be/4Lb1NzFK5XY?si=N6-pJuM1wPwMjqB_ ** Join Black Dog Institute’s clinical psychologist Pam Withey and lived experience advocate Elliot Waters as they explore how to support teen mental health during one of life’s most challenging stages. From recognising the signs of distress to building healthy habits around sleep,...