The Backslider Diaries

From saccharine choruses to mind-bending repetition, discover how church music worms its way into your brain… and keeps you coming back for more. 🎵 Opening music by The Demigs: ⁠Black Valley Fight⁠ ( ⁠   • Video  ⁠ ) 🎵 Closing music by The Demigs: ⁠Monochrome Blues⁠ ( ⁠   • Video  ⁠ ) 🌐 Resources:Adult Children of Alcoholics: ⁠ ⁠https://adultchildren.org⁠ ⁠ – for support, healing, and recovery...

What does it mean to "be a man" in evangelical culture? In this episode, T and Lance unpack the suffocating gender expectations placed on boys and men in the church—where strength means silence, doubt is weakness, and spiritual leadership is always male. From purity culture to the "biblical manhood" narrative, we examine how these ideals distort identity, repress emotion, and a...

T, J, and Lance — three former Pentecostal preacher’s kids — unpack how religious upbringing still shapes their lives today. From trust issues and emotional avoidance to feeling like love was always conditional and relationships were transactional. 🎵 Opening music by The Demigs: ⁠Black Valley Fight⁠ 🎵 Closing music by The Demigs: ⁠Monochrome Blues⁠ 🌐 Resources: Adult Children of Alcoholics: ⁠ht...

The Backslider Diaries – The First Time In this episode, we dive headfirst into all our firsts — first concert, first kiss, first drug, first time getting in trouble, and more. These moments shaped who we were before the unraveling. It’s raw, real, and maybe a little reckless. From awkward teen memories to spiritual confusion, it’s all part of the journey of leaving behind the lies we were raised...

In this raw and necessary episode of The Backslider Diaries, T , J, and Lance sit down to unpack the difficult reality of abuse within faith communities. From personal experience and broader patterns, we break down the many faces of religious harm—childhood abuse, sexual misconduct, grooming, physical and emotional control, financial exploitation, and cultural manipulation. No sugarcoating. No exc...

They promised healing. They delivered a show. In this episode, we dive into the dark underbelly of faith healing—where staged miracles, emotional exploitation, and spiritual manipulation rake in millions. From televangelist theatrics to tent revival cons, we expose how desperate people are preyed upon in the name of God. This isn't just deception—it's a system built on false hope and fat w...

In this one, we dive into how political polarization—especially the rise of MAGA ideology—has created rifts in families across the U.S., and how it's become closely tied with modern evangelical culture. We share stories of strained relationships, lost connections, and the emotional cost of navigating belief systems that collide at the dinner table 🌐 Resources: ⁠Adult Children of Alcoholics⁠ –...

Growing Up LGBTQ+ in a Pentecostal Church In this episode of The Backslider Diaries , our guest shares their powerful story of growing up queer in a strict Pentecostal household — and what it was like coming out not only to their preacher father and deeply religious family, but also to their wife and close friends. We dive into the weight of religious expectations, internal conflict, and the path...

In this episode, we unpack the dangerous blend of narcissism and spiritual authority often found in evangelical pulpits. What happens when a leader claims divine direction to justify control, manipulation, or abuse? We explore the “God told me” complex—how it silences dissent, elevates ego, and blurs the line between faith and fanaticism. Drawing from personal stories, psychology, and cultural tre...

In this episode of the Backslider Diaries, hosts T and J delve into their experiences growing up in a Pentecostal environment, exploring themes of religious trauma, purity culture, and the healing power of music. J discusses her deconstruction. They discuss the complexities of family dynamics, the journey of self-discovery, and the importance of questioning beliefs. The conversation highlights the...

In our very first episode, we introduce ourselves — two preacher’s kids who grew up deep in the world of Pentecostalism. We share our personal stories of faith, fear, and finally, freedom. From speaking in tongues to strict church rules, and the moments that made us question everything, this is the beginning of our journey into unpacking the wild, weird, and often painful world we came from. Wheth...