The Albo Diaries

The season finale. After 30 weeks, the Prime Minister finally has his Global Citizen Award. It's 3am, he's in his trackie dacks, and he can't find anywhere to put it. A selfie with Trump. Four minutes with Andy Burnham. A Newspoll he'd rather not discuss. And one last look back through the diary he insists nobody reads. Stay to the end for a word from me about what comes next. The Albo Diaries goe...

The Prime Minister is in a hotel room with a notepad and four words. The speech is due Wednesday. The verb is the problem. This week: an award for being a global citizen, a button he already had in his pocket, 27 seconds with the sound off, and a state dinner he isn't at. Written and performed by Rupert Degas. New entries every Tuesday at 8am. No ads, no sponsor, no editor, no boss. Get full acces...

The Albo Diaries - Week 28 There's a form on the desk. It wants to know what he owns, what he belongs to, and what he's been a member of for fifteen years without noticing. This week: a golf club nobody told him about. A cartoon he's in and didn't agree to. A new club he's founding, with a mailing list. Eleven honest seconds he can't reproduce. And a rather large conclusion reached in front of an...

"Turns Out 'Them' Is a Big Word" Nobody runs to the front of a room waving their arms about unless they want to be counted. Anthony Albanese said "We must defeat them". Now everyone wants to know who 'them' is. This week: a speech that went further than intended, a trip nobody turned up to, a reporter who asked the wrong question in front of the wrong people, six takes to get one video right, and...

The Albo Diaries - Week 26 The Prime Minister is trying to write a text message to the WA Premier and it isn't going well. He was half an hour away. He didn't go. Now the seat is gone and there's a phone in his hand that won't do anything. Written and performed by Rupert Degas. No ads, no sponsors, no editor, no boss. Support the work here or upgrade to paid to keep it that way. Cheers. New episod...

18 minutes and 14 seconds. That is how long the Prime Minister sat in front of Sarah Ferguson on 7.30 and worked his way round to the word "error". This week he watches it back in the bath, four times over, dragging the little bar to the bit where he thinks he sounded like Bob Hawke. Somewhere in there the country went over $1 trillion in debt, dipped back under on the Friday, and he decided that...

"I did a thing. With my hands." Last Thursday night the Prime Minister of Australia rang the President of the United States. No recording was released. No transcript. The White House confirmed the call happened and then said nothing else at all. This week, the diary is the phone call. The melons. Kylie. Pauline. The women who went out for him. And the reason the tariff isn't moving. He was told ex...

"I wish there was a box for I'd rather everyone kept liking me." The Prime Minister is on leave, in an undisclosed part of Australia, in and an old Midnight Oils t-shirt. The country is filling in the census. So is he. This week: a jigsaw somebody else gave up on. Richard Marles telling the radio he probably deserves a break. Sixteen digits and a nine-character password. The religion box. The ance...

The Prime Minister keeps a diary. He calls it his ‘legacy document’. You are not supposed to be reading this. His office describes it as “a fabrication.” But to be fair, his office describes most things as a fabrication, so make of that what you will. Dear Diary. I’ve been doing sums. Counting. Four hours. Call it four, it was more like three and a half with the cars. And the number they’re printi...

"Three thousand people clapped on cue. My dog still won't sit." The Prime Minister keeps a private diary. He believes historians will study it. He is wrong about several things. This week Albo is four days into a secret dog-training regime he is losing badly, and it is going better than the rest of his life. An escalator makes a decision about him in front of the nation and he takes it as a compli...

Anthony Albanese keeps a diary. He calls it his 'legacy document'. You are not supposed to be reading it. His office describes it as "a fabrication." A UK PM falls, and a rattled Albo grabs the two biggest ideas a frightened man can find - artificial intelligence, and your superannuation. He writes Keir Starmer a farewell letter that's really about himself, and gives a landmark AI speech - his big...

"You can't bring up a man's human rights when he's just complimented your lentils." The private diary of Anthony Albanese, PM (for now) - the pages he doesn't know you're reading. This week: Modi fills a stadium, and Albo lies awake working out who owns the cup. The Welcome to Country gets defended with a door analogy that quietly hands the whole argument away. Pauline wants one culture. The Socce...

Anthony Albanese poured the whisky himself, sat down with a comedian in the Lodge, and played "shag, marry, date." Then he apologised - unequivocally, and without seeming to know what for. This week's diary is the view from inside his head - the podcast triumph nobody else can see, the loyal soldier sent out to defend him, and the one thing he can't quite look at in the kitchen. The Albo Diaries -...

The Albo Diaries - Week 17 From the archive. Pages dated 2019-2025. Bill loses the "unloseable" election. The leadership is finally his. Three years of agreeing with Scott Morrison about COVID. Three years that worked. The Voice - that didn't work. The car ride home. The cheese that knew. Saturday December 13, 2025. A quiet morning at Kirribilli. The phone isn't ringing, which means everything is...

The Albo Diaries - Week 16 From the archive. Pages dated 1985-2010. First day in Canberra. First free pie at the Members' Bar. Becomes Assistant General Secretary of NSW Labor at 26 and pockets a Texta. Delivers a maiden speech he sincerely believes rivals "It's Time." Joins Kevin's cabinet. Spreads the word about Kevin. Discovers, three hours later, what's actually happening. The Prime Minister k...

The Albo Diaries - Week 15 From the archive. Pages dated 1979-1984. Anthony joins the Party at 16. Discovers brie. Tells his first lie. Drinks French champagne the night Hawke wins. Cries. Saves the Political Economy Department from neo-classical contamination. Accepts a salary from Tom Uren and immediately buys a wheel of cheese. The Prime Minister keeps a diary. He calls it his 'legacy document'...

The Prime Minister keeps a diary. He calls it his 'legacy document'. You are not supposed to be hearing this. He's slipping in the polls. One Nation has passed Labor. And he's become convinced someone has bugged the only room he has left. This week: a budget the young didn't read, a ladder quietly pulled up behind him, a smoke alarm mistaken for a listening device, and the growing suspicion that t...

The Prime Minister keeps a diary he thinks no one is reading. This week: seven women get off a plane he absolutely did not send, he booms his contempt for ISIS straight over the head of the one bloke it was about, the whole world watches Canberra fail to define what a woman is, and Pauline takes the lead in the polls. Written and performed by Rupert Degas. No ads, no sponsor, no editor, no boss. B...

"The week the AI got me to look kind". The memes. The walk-away. Hughesy turning on me. Minns going for the throat. And Pauline catching me in MY colour. The Prime Minister keeps a diary. He calls it his 'legacy document'. You are not supposed to be reading this. Written and performed by Rupert Degas. 🎧 rupertdegas.substack.com Get full access to Rupert Degas at rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe

The Albo Diaries — Week 11 "We brought lived experience into politics. Now it owns half the apartments in Brunswick." The Prime Minister keeps a diary. He thinks no one is reading it. That's why he says everything. This week: a budget that breaks a fifty-time election promise, a cabinet that owns sixty-odd investment properties between them, and a man quietly thrilled about a gala in New York whil...

The Albo Diaries - Week 10 The Prime Minister's private diary. Read by Rupert Degas. This week: the broken promise on negative gearing, One Nation winning Farrer, $30 million to Fiji while Australians can't afford fuel, the permanent ASIO bill, Tony Burke's election night party, and a melon worth more than his car. 8 minutes 33 seconds. New entry every Tuesday. Subscribe: rupertdegas.substack.com...

The Prime Minister keeps a diary. He calls it his ‘legacy document’. You are not supposed to be reading this. His office describes it as “a fabrication.” But to be fair, his office describes most things as a fabrication, so make of that what you will. No ads, no sponsor, no editor, no boss. Buy me a coffee here or upgrade to paid to keep it that way. Get full access to Rupert Degas at rupertdegas....

"Bloody independent media. Bloody podcasts. I just can't control them the way I can control the ABC." Get full access to Rupert Degas at rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe

The Albo Diaries - Week 7 “Welcome to country. Welcome to women. That’s important.” Get full access to Rupert Degas at rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe

"In 2003 I stood in parliament and quoted Hermann Goering against these exact laws. Now they’re mine. Which is growth." Get full access to Rupert Degas at rupertdegas.substack.com/subscribe