Tell The Others

If our kids are *constantly* forgetting things when they walk out the door - like their instrument for music practice - it's tempting to think they're being lazy or absentminded. But when we look below the surface, we often find it's just a lagging skill. Their brain is still developing and they need our support (not shame) to help them grow. It's not an 'age thing' - they could be 6 or 16 and sti...

When a Spicy teen blows past curfew and sneaks friends in until 5AM, punishment feels like the answer, whether that's taking their phone or piling on more rules. None of it works the way we hope. A missed curfew is just a brain that hasn't learned to plan yet. So punishment isn't the answer. Because in the teen years, we need to be as connected to them as possible. Why? We get fired from the 'mana...

When we ask our child to carry a plate to the sink, why do they freeze, drift off, or melt down? Because the ADHD brain hates doing things with multiple steps... and one small chore is usually more complex than it looks. It's tempting to call that laziness. But most of the time our child isn't choosing, they simply can't yet. The kindest shift we can make is the story we tell ourselves: they can't...

When your teen won't leave their room because they're stuck on a device, 'gaming' starts to look like a problem. But pulling away from parents is what teens are wired to do. When it comes to gaming, it's often their brain's way of finding a safe space when it feels like the world around them is on fire. Listen to the podcast and learn: - Why hiding away after painful experiences is a survival mech...

When we want our kids helping more around the house, it's tempting to reach for a sticker chart. Charts and rewards do work, but only while the stickers keep coming, and the helping tends to fade once the rewards do. What we really want is for our kids to pitch in because it feels good to be part of the team, rather than because we told them to. Tune in to learn: - Why a sticker chart holds intere...

Why do so many ADHD and autistic girls hold it together all day, then fall apart the second they walk in the door? That's masking. They copy the social rules at school, then unravel at home, where it feels safe. So when the report card says your child is an angel at school - but they're not at home - that's a real clue. Join Heidi to learn what to look for, what to ask for, and why the right clini...

Why does shaming a kid for forgetting their jacket never teach them to remember it? Because the part of the brain that plans ahead isn't fully online until the mid-twenties A child who's cold isn't ignoring you. They genuinely couldn't picture their 'future self' needing that jacket. Tune in to learn: - Why forward planning is a skill their brain simply doesn't have yet - How shame shuts kids down...

So many of us grew up wishing our parents would just admit when they got it wrong. Heidi wrote a text message for clients in her private practice from that ache, addressing the things that kids long to hear from us. Parents have sent it to teenagers and to grown kids in their thirties and forties. It's never too late to repair. Join Heidi to discover how to make this text message your own. -- ️ Sp...

When a spicy kid talks back, shuts down, or explodes over something small, the school's first move is usually more consequences, more check-ins, more adults in the room. And most of the time, that's exactly the wrong thing to do. This episode breaks down why a spicy kid's nervous system reads all of that as a threat, and why standard consequences and check-in cards typically backfire. Psychotherap...

Why are we triggered when our kids "copy bad behavior"? It has a lot to do with the stories we tell ourselves about the way they're acting. If we shift our perspective just slightly, we can reduce conflict AND build the emotional regulation muscle in our children. Here's what Heidi covers in this podcast, taken from a live Q&A call in her parenting program: • Why the stories we tell ourselves...

What if the secret to parenting an ADHD child isn’t trying harder—but trying differently? It makes sense when you think about it. ADHD brains are wired differently, and so are their challenges. ADHD coach Sharon Collon shares her journey from chaos to calm and how you can tailor solutions to your family’s unique needs. After spending over $30,000 in her son's first year post-diagnosis and developi...

Ever feel like your SPICY kid is allergic to the word "no"? They're actually wired to struggle with three things that make it *look* like they're being difficult 'on purpose' (when it's really just their brain asking for help). Tune in for a perspective shift to help you parent with less stress and more connection. Explore why spicy kids struggle with “no” (and how to set boundaries that stick). U...

Dental anxiety isn't just about teeth — it's also about feeling powerless . It's a topic I covered on a recent Prism Perspective call. Tune in to learn...   • How to help your child understand their anxiety • Simple strategies to make dental visits less traumatic • Why lying about pain backfires (and what to say instead) • Ways to empower your child with choice and control -- Strong-willed child a...

'Does everyone need therapy?' It's kind of like asking 'does everyone need deodorant'? Not strictly. BUT... Do you remember your last train ride on a summer day? Or that Uber trip? Or the customs line at the airport? Yechh... The sights, the sounds... the... smells. Body odor (and lack of deodorant!) in a small space is kind of like our emotional struggles and unresolved traumas. Both have an impa...

I don't know about you, but I like to imagine parenting as a marathon, not a sprint ‍♀️ But it's hard to think long-term when every day feels like a race to the finish line. It's like the parenting version Groundhog Day... …we roll into bed exhausted, disconnected, frustrated, and anxious because we KNOW we're only hours away from doing it all again So, here's a little secret… By making small chan...

If you're battling your teenager over late-night phone sessions, you're not alone! In this episode, Heidi shares why phone and tech boundaries are especially tricky for strong-willed and neurodivergent kids (you know - the SPICY children who don't respond to 'traditional' parenting techniques ). Learn how to identify what's really driving their behavior and unpack strategies for compromise that wo...

When we're trying to improve our emotional wellbeing, we usually focus on the present or the future. But what if the key to healing and feeling ‘whole’ is actually in our past? That's where reparenting comes in. Reparenting is about connecting with and caring for your inner child—the part of you that holds the memories and feelings from your early experiences. Sound a little ‘woo woo’... or… maybe...

Parenting a SPICY child is often lonely, exhausting, isolating and overwhelming. I know because I have a SPICY child myself, and I see ya’ll in private practice every week We live in a society that says children should all fit into a neat little box of behavior and personality… and if they don’t… well… it must be the parents’ fault! But most of society has no clue what it’s like to parent a SPICY...

Heidi answers the following question in this episode: " Hi Heidi, why doesn’t positive parenting work on my spicy 8 year old? My 10 year old is so different and much more dutiful, compliant and easy. My 8 year old is aggressive, violent and hates any talk about feelings. It feels like we are all walking eggshells. My husband yells and isn’t as patient as me, but I lose it too, as nothing seems to...

Ever wondered if transformation was possible for you, or if healing yourself was even an option outside of therapy? I chatted with my colleague and fellow therapist, Tom Ahern this week, all about our journeys in self-healing and managing our mental health. It was fascinating to dive deep into the topic and explore the idea that therapy isn’t the only route to self-healing (pretty wild - coming fr...

One of the most common things people say to me is, "I know if I could just change my thinking and be more positive, then I’d be happy. I know it's my fault I'm unhappy because of the thoughts I choose ". If it were THAT simple and just 'thinking happy thoughts' was the key to everything, then the world would be a really happy place. But it's not, because it's not that simple. Taking a 'bottom up a...

I often hear from parents: "My child’s teacher has recommended my son / daughter have an assessment to understand their behaviors a bit more. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I think a label will hurt them long-term and I don’t want them to be treated differently." In this clip, I share my thoughts on this and provide some guidance around WHY an assessment may or may not be helpful.  I hope it...

Join Heidi and Vanessa (a trauma therapist and Licensed Mental Health Social Worker) on their deep dive into all things body image, and how to find freedom in food. Some of the topics covered: What determines health? What is body neutrality? Easy ways to promote healthy body image to your kids How to protect your kids from developing a negative body image Labeling foods "good" or "bad" Emotional e...

I wanted to share a recent question I received in my parenting group about teenagers and their unique challenges. It opened a HUGE can of worms as I honed in on the real issue behind this mom’s concerns - a loss of control. Q: “ My 17-year-old is staying in her room and isolating, not talking to us as much as she used to. I’m worried something is going on. Can you help? ” It’s such a classic scena...

One of the common questions I hear in my private practice is ‘Why does my child have anxiety, especially when they have nothing to be stressed about?’ While it’s easy to view their anxiety as ‘attention seeking’ or ‘being dramatic’, the key message they need from us is: you are safe, and I can help you. With that in mind, we need to reframe the way we view anxiety and understand how - and why - it...