Stop Parenting & Start Coaching

If you're a longtime, loyal listener of the show, we wish to thank you for tuning in regularly to learn the what, why, and how to connect better with your teen athlete and performer. After 140+ episodes, most of which consisted of us bantering back and forth about all things parenting, coaching, and teen athletes, we feel we have shared our message from front to back and back to front again. Begin...

"Stop Parenting & Start Coaching." Yeah, we know it's a bit provocative. Yes, we know it turns some people away. But for the high achieving parents and their teens that we work with, it makes perfect sense. Give us a few minutes and we'll tell you exactly what it means to us and why it could just be what you need to reduce the friction in the conversations and relationships with your teen athl...

Character architects. Decision makers. Putting the fun and joy back back into playing sports. Yeah, let's do this. In today's special guest episode we talk with Erin Sarles and Thomas Roe, the dynamic duo and cofounders of Bluechip to Blueprint . You're gonna love this one moms and dads! Erin Sarles brings 20+ years of corporate executive expertise to the youth sports arena, where she saw firsthan...

Parents, this episode is personal. Steve makes a big confession that gets right to the heart of coaching, parenting, pride, and the mindset shifts that can either help your teen grow or quietly hold them back. So...let's get right to the truth. Are you helping your teen think for themselves, or are you still stuck giving advice that no longer lands? In this episode, we unpack the difference betwee...

What if your teen does not need more pressure, more reminders, or more to-do’s, but better clarity? In this conversation, we fire some easy fastballs down the middle and then unleash a curveball that's gonna make your knees wobble a bit! Let's face what your teen is facing if their schedule is packed tighter than a dugout with 25 stinky baseball players. Le'ts also step up to the plate and learn h...

If you’ve ever contemplated a school transfer for your high school son or daughter and asked “Should we stay… or should we go?” you’re not alone! In this episode, we interview Rob Geertsen, a proud and present father and an experienced coach. Rob tells his son Zack's high school transfer story—what they did before any paperwork, how they evaluated the new environment, and why academics and “cultur...

Here’s the truth: sleep is a system, not a character issue. So if your plan is “hope they choose better,” you’ll keep getting the same results. In this episode, we ask the questions you need to build a practical sleep system with mutual agreements. Using our Question Only Conversation approach will increase buy-in and cooperation that will help you both sleep well--like a baby (that doesn't wake u...

Teen sleep isn’t just “discipline”—it’s biology. We unpack the teen brain, circadian shifts, recovery, and why inconsistent schedules sabotage energy and focus. We also talk school start times and the ripple effects on mental health and performance. Then we translate it into practical routines you can actually implement by sharing our Sleep Starter Pack with you. Let's go Most Valuable Parents!!!!...

In this episode--the third in a series about playing time--we get blunt and right to the truth about the fact that parents struggle to stay neutral. Confirmation bias creeps in and rescuing becomes a habit. What follows is pressure and tension in every conversation or or coach bashing ensues. You love them so much and your intentions are pure, but why is this not working? Much of it is the proximi...

Playing time is a pressure cooker because it pokes at every parent trigger: fairness, status, control, fear, and helplessness. And if we’re honest, it can feel personal—even when it isn’t. In today's conversation, we deliver a fantastic "reframe" to help you model a healthy response to non-preferred outcomes so your teen learns the real life skill: dealing with disappointment without losing identi...

Newsflash! Life isn’t fair. Yep, we all know it! And high school sports and competition are no exception. "It's not fair!" -- the common refrain heard among parents and players and yes, even coaches! And guess what? You are probably right when you're screaming "that is NOT fair!" But your teen athlete or performer doesn’t needs a parent who coaches them into Blaming, Complaining, Defending and Exp...

Here’s the hard truth: the moment your teen feels evaluated, the conversation gets worse—and so does your influence. In this episode, we help you build emotional safety without lowering standards, and teach you how to stay calm when your teen isn’t. You’ll get simple, real-life ways to respond when things get tense--when you start feeling "judgy"--plus actionable steps you can use today to reduce...

Here’s the hard truth: your teen athlete/performer might be hiding struggles because they don’t want your common reaction. You tend to activate full-blown Fixer Mode! This doesn't make you a "bad parent" but there is a better way to approach this situation and the opportunity for growth and improved connection is waiting for you. In our bantering and discussion in this episode we call out the mist...

Wanna know how to pause, find the “why” behind your reaction, and respond like a calm, high-performance coach—not a panicked or crazed bleacher creature?! Stick with us in this episode because we have some burning questions for you along with a few simple preemptive strikes you can launch before the next competition, plus some communication moves that protect connection with your high achieving te...

If you’ve ever thought, “Why isn’t what worked in business working at home?” you’re not alone. Today we unpack how successful parents can accidentally bring the wrong playbook into parenting their high achieving teen athletes and performers. You’ll leave with simple, introspective coaching questions that expose blind spots and rebuild trust with your teen athlete or performer. The Timestamps 00:00...

PARENTS: In Part 4 of 4 of our "specialization series" we tackle the hard questions and attempt to get you thinking about your thinking on WHEN is the time right, if it's right! Exclusive grind with no guardrails? Mmmm, not the way to go. BUT, and this is a big BUT...specialization isn’t automatically “bad”—it can protect joy when the timing is right and the environment is supportive. We give you...

NOTE: This is Part 3 of 4 in a series on Specialization! You want your teen to succeed—and love the journey while they do it. In this episode, we uncover the secrets behind self-driven performance, fewer injuries, and the joy of playing sports for fun. It all starts with seeing your teen in a whole new way: through the lens of strengths. We’re talking about how to spot your teen’s real strengths,...

If you’re like most driven parents of teen athletes, you’ve been told you’ll “miss the boat” if your kid doesn’t specialize early, that early success proves their long-term trajectory, and that more hours always mean more results. In this episode, we unpack and debunk those dangerous myths, show you what college coaches actually look for, and explain why multi-sport focused experience and unstruct...

If you’re like most high-achieving parents, you’ve probably heard, “If your teen doesn’t choose one sport now, they’ll fall behind.” In this episode, we slow that conversation way down and begin a walk through what specialization actually is, where it helps and where it hurts. We know this is a big deal and you're right in the thick of it. The clock is ticking on your teen's formative years. We ge...

Ever felt trapped in the "machine" of high performance?! Is that machine raging against you?! Today we explore the complexities of high performance in family dynamics, particularly in the context of youth sports with our ambitious, high achieving teen athletes and performers. We will discuss the risk that is present with ambition but also why you as parents should not necessarily run away from it....

NOTE: This is Part 2 of our conversation with Andrea. Check out Episode 121 for Part 1! In this episode with Dr. Andrea Mata we knock out gentle parenting and expose it's major flaws while exploring and defining how to parent well in this Gen Z world. Andrea ("Dr. Dre") spells out the simple ways we can authoritatively parent and lead better. If you are the ambitious parent of a go-getter teen ath...

"Our bad!" We should've recorded this episode years ago! All kidding aside, "my bad" stinks and we'll tell you why in today's episode where we explore the concept of apologies! Particularly focusing on the phrase "my bad" and its implications. We'll discuss the sincerity behind admitting fault and "apologizing," the importance of genuine change, and introduce "The Repair Loop" as a tool for better...

NOTE: This is Part 1 of 2 with Andrea. What does it take to break cycles, beat the odds, and build something better—for yourself and your family? In this episode, we sit down with "Dr. Dre" a.k.a. Andrea D. Mata, PhD—clinical psychologist, founder of BrightSpot Families, and unapologetic straight shooter. And should I mention, funny as all get out! From growing up in a gang-ridden neighborhood on...

If you’ve ever said, “My teen needs to be taken down a notch,” this episode is your wake-up call. We break down why that mindset crushes confidence and how a coaching approach actually develops humility, strength, and real independence. You’ll learn how to use love, challenge, and questions—not control or shame—to raise high-performing, emotionally healthy teens. In this episode, we dive into how...

Think your teen’s success starts with better training or coaching? Think again. It starts at home. The strongest teen athletes and performers come from families that operate like teams, playoff teams centered around clear communication, shared accountability, and mutual respect. Today we explore practical ways to build that kind of culture: from a united front to weekly huddles and making repairs...