Still talking with Jono and Rich

Rich has very specific requirements when it comes to friendship. You need to be a bit of an arsehole, but not a complete arsehole because that's no fun. And if you're too nice, he'll probably scare you.  Halfway arseholes are his soul family. Also this episode: Dreams  — what on earth is going on in our heads when we're asleep, and should we be worried about what it all means? Rich...

Rich's head tells him to stop shopping, but his heart says  get it in two colours and buy a spare in case one wears out. It's called being prepared. His bank account calls it something considerably less polite. Also this episode: Don't name your chickens.  Jono explains why getting emotionally attached to your dinner might not be the best idea. Money stress, credit cards and those thre...

Jono has been getting some funny looks lately. Apparently, it's not socially acceptable to walk like an Egyptian anymore. Nobody told him, and frankly, he's got questions. Also this episode: What's happening in Egypt?  Something's got Rich and Jono talking, and it's not just the way people walk. The MSGA Shakespeare Games  — a bit of Shakespeare enters the conversation. What co...

Imagine not liking Rich, and meanwhile he's sitting at home Googling pictures of wet owls. People are out there holding grudges while he's trying to work out why birds look so ridiculous when they're damp. Also this episode: Who do you ask for financial advice?  Your parents, your friends, an actual expert, or someone who just happens to have a nicer car than you? Rich has started pani...

Once Jono figures out how to say  NO without feeling guilty, it's over for everyone.  Invitations, favours, plans he never wanted to make in the first place. All cancelled. He's going to be unbearable, and he's really looking forward to it. Also this episode: A doctor's accident  — when the person you're trusting to look after you has a bit of a mishap. Rich is the DIY king.  A...

When Rich was 13, he thought everyone around him was cranky. Now he's older, wiser and has realised something.  They actually were.  And to be fair, he's starting to understand why. Also this episode: Fake people  — Rich reckons he can spot them a mile away. Unfortunately, they don't always realise he's spotted them. Bad bed habits  — what are we all doing wrong when it comes to be...

Rich loves whatever it is he's got going on mentally. Ten minutes ago he had terrible anxiety, then he got distracted, forgot what he was worrying about and now he's absolutely fine. Who needs therapy when you've got the attention span of a goldfish? Also this episode: The conversations you should never have — some subjects are best left well alone, especially when Rich is involved. So...

Jono has walked into a shop and immediately forgotten what he came in for. So now he's just wandering around pretending to browse, hoping his brain eventually remembers why they're there. Also this episode: The most popular pet names have been revealed, and it's not particularly good news for Rich. Are you a dishwasher pre-rinser, or do you trust the machine to do the one job you bough...

Some people meditate, practise mindfulness and find their inner peace. Rich just says “feck it” a lot and sighs heavily. Basically the same thing, and considerably cheaper. Also this episode: Apparently vegetables might not be as healthy as we thought. Jono has questions, and so do we. Which birth months produce the best kissers? Finally, something else to judge potential partners on. Nomophobia a...

Nothing quite matches the feeling of  checking your bank balance after an “I deserve it” day . Turns out you may have deserved it, but your bank account strongly disagrees. Also this episode: Rich looks back at the year so far and realises that, actually,  he's had a pretty good time . Staying at someone's house? The  house guest habits you're probably getting completely wrong . Have w...

“Are you free after work?” What a stupid question.  Rich is free DURING work.  After work is when he's busy recovering from work. Also this episode: Is there actually an age when you're  too old to start a new hobby , or should we all just stop caring? Apparently  men hate spending money  — although Rich would like to see the evidence. All-nighters are officially over.  Staying awake until...

Rich used to think adulthood was  one crisis after another . Turns out he was wrong. It's actually  multiple crises happening concurrently, all at once, all the time, forever.  Lovely. Also this episode: People keep telling Rich how  resilient  he is. At this point he'd quite like the opportunity to be weak for a bit. Is  picky eating actually genetic?  Finally, an excuse for every adult o...

Jono was going to send you  5K , but unfortunately he's broke. The important thing is  he thought about it , and really, isn't that just as generous? Also this episode: Why does  every app need an update every five minutes?  It was working perfectly well yesterday. Leave it alone. Jono investigates our latest obsession with  “maxing” absolutely everything . Looksmaxxing, sleepmaxxing, heal...

Sometimes Rich genuinely feels like he has his life together. Then the  windscreen fogs up and he has absolutely no idea what temperature is supposed to make it disappear.  Back to square one. Also this episode: The car has been  serviced AND cleaned , so obviously Rich is now a completely new man. Could  cats actually be the secret to happiness?  Jono may finally have found a convincing argument....

Being an adult is genuinely weird.  You're just unsupervised all the time.  Nobody checks what you're doing, and somehow you're allowed to make financial decisions. Also this episode: Great news for Rich: apparently your  morning coffee habit might actually be good for you . Finally, some health advice worth listening to. Air fryers  — useful kitchen essential or a cult with a plug? Th...

Rich's favourite outdoor activity is the same as his dog's:  running to the delivery guy . Admittedly, they're doing it for very different reasons. Also this episode: As of today,  no more laptops at school  — are we finally going backwards to go forwards? What are going to be the  most desirable jobs in 2027 , and have Rich and Jono chosen terribly? The things that seem completely nor...

Rich would just like to thank everyone for being his friend.  It's a questionable life decision on your part, but he appreciates it. Also this episode: What's happening with  petrol prices around the world , and does it finally make an electric car look tempting? Rich isn't late. He's  fashionably late . There's a difference, apparently. MRIs and metal  — what you absolutely do...

Jono cannot wait until he can finally  afford his true fashion sense . Apparently the only thing standing between him and looking incredible is money. Also this episode: Why would we rather  wander around a shop for 25 minutes  than simply ask someone where something is? Are you a  driving hypocrite ? Getting furious when someone does the exact thing you did five minutes earlier absolutely counts....

Someone asked Rich if he was  ready for the fall . It took him a second to realise they meant autumn and not  the complete collapse of society . Also this episode: Rich has  issues falling asleep , and naturally has thoughts on the whole thing. Do  cats actually care when they're left alone , or are we vastly overestimating our importance? Going on  holiday when you've got pets  — the guil...

You know when you're being mean to a friend for fun, then suddenly realise you've gone  slightly too far  and have to desperately make it clear you actually love them? That's friendship. Also this episode: Why do  Netflix shows just STOP?  No ending, no explanation, just cancelled and apparently we're supposed to move on with our lives. Forget sports cars — apparently a bloke confi...

Rich is completely done with the  Microsoft Authenticator . Seriously, who else is trying this hard to log in and do his work? If someone wants to do it for him,  LET THEM IN. Also this episode: A  water attack from the neighbour  sends Rich into full Karen mode. There are times to remain calm. This wasn't one of them. Rich's  trainer has ghosted him  — which is quite an achievement when y...

Rich loves giving a dog a treat and watching them immediately walk away like,  “Thanks. I’ll be in my office.”  No celebration. No small talk. Transaction complete. Also this episode: Rich has been told he has  another celebrity lookalike  — because apparently one Rich isn't enough. Turns out the old story about  alligators living in the sewers  might not be quite as ridiculous as we thought....

Jono would quite like to know  what happened since February . He dissociated for a little while, looked up and somehow  it's September . Also this episode: Rich crashed.  Not metaphorically. There's a story. Rich Turns agony Aunt Get your  80s gear  back out — apparently we're not finished with it yet. The weird modern  fear of messages . You see the notification, immediately assume so...

When someone says  “don't take it personally,”  how exactly are you supposed to take it? Romantically? Spiritually?  It's always bloody personal. Also this episode: Rich has had enough of  unacceptable plates . Square plates, tiny sharing plates, decorative plates that barely hold food — JUST GIVE HIM A PLATE. How long is  too long in the shower , and what are people actually doing in ther...

Nothing makes Jono happier than leaving work early.  It's less “finished for the day” and more “released from prison for good behaviour.” Also this episode: Petrol prices have reached the point where  I Am Legend suddenly feels less like fiction . Rich has developed a  conspiracy theory about pandas . Yes, pandas. And unfortunately, he's thought this through. Research suggests  playing vid...