Slop Quest

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON:  https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Aaron finally becomes one with Beach Cops as h...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON:  https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Be forewarned: Aaron is on fire with the wordplay this episode, so plan accordingly. Andy comes out of the gates with excitement over having something in common with Mark Normand. What he has in common makes Danish and O’Neill ask Andy how far he’d go for his "special interest". Andy t...

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops We open with O’Neill being delighted that Chinese throwing stars are legal aga...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON:  https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The show opens with more misremembered historical ramblings from DeWitt, including a guy who ate strawberries and cream until he exploded. O’Neill suggests that Andy’s vision board needs more business goals and less stuff about butts. Then, there’s some Vince McMahon talk. Danish debut...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Andy opens with a Romeo and Juliet fart parody song based off the 1969 movie, and O’Neill is not impressed. Then, O’Neill has an insane list of demands for the aliens should they ever kidnap him. Danish talks about Israeli cars that run on hummus. Then, he pulls up a vi...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Aaron wins a gigantic trophy for softball, and O’Neill goes for stolen softball trophy valor antics. Then, they ask Andy if he would have his mouth surgically altered as a way to become more popular. After that, they roast the lineup from Coachella. Andy has an amazing business idea cal...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy has been watching more Milf Manor. O’Neill fears the Presidential power of Bill Clinton’s sexual energy. Danish exposes a fitness beef between John Little and Earl Skakel. Then, an improv sensation sweeps the nation as Andy and Ryan take on the roles...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders including the Helix Kids mattress AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BeachCops. This is their best offer yet and it won’t last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy reveals t...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops This one starts with the gang talking about Andrew being concussed with a basketball while he was dressed as a viking in high school. Then, things get real when the Ghost Pepper Challenge mentioned on the previous episode becomes a truly scientific paper, spoken by DeWitt, transcribed b...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops It’s St. Patrick’s day on Beach Cops, and Ryan demands respect for his heritage. Andy reveals he is 2% Vietnamese, and Ryan says he can tell.  Then, the gang comes up with the new craze: The Ghost Pepper Challenge. Speaking of peppers, listener Hot Hot Peppers has advice for O’Neill abo...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON:  https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The show opens with the boys receiving some amazing gifts from fans. After, Andy wears smart boy glasses and shares a "drawering" he did of the boys as fantasy wizards. Andy talks about a hilarious "milking machine" Twitter incident with a certain public figure he's drawn criticism for...

Helix is offering up to 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to Helixsleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this ep, the "teacher" finally changes Andrew and Ryan's seats, so th...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The boys return to the dark for a full episode to get the creative juices flowing. O’Neill refuses to participate in a standing ovation at a theater and becomes violent at the idea of being forced to stand. DeWitt’s family has anxiety about all their ESP. When O'Neill comes up with a sc...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops It comes out that Andy has been keeping a “productivity journal” while O’Neill was out of town. Danish reads O’Neill the journal, and he loses it because it’s mainly tracking bowel movements and "self-love" time. Danish and O’Neill have a eulogy for Bob from the Comedy Store, which puts...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, the gang covers Andy getting chemical burns on his hands from throwing urinal cakes at people in elementary school. Then, they talk about Bloody Mary being back in full effect for a whole new generation. Things take a dark turn when they find out about the dude dating S...

Helix is offering up to 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows four our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BeachCops. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Andy brings in a survival tool for show-and-tell with...

Shop now at dietsmoke.com and use the code BEACHCOPS at checkout for 20% off your entire first order. That's dietsmoke.com , code BEACHCOPS at checkout for 20% off. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this spicy episode of Beach Cops, O’Neill brings out his childhood fingerboard and tries to skate on Andy’s nipples. Th...

Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/beachcops. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops O’Neill is back from his tour with a brand new debilitating ski injury. Was it another curse by Boon? Who knows because O’Neill found doodie stains in the...

This Episode is sponsored by Better Help To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops We recorded this bad boy on Friday the 13th, and it’s pretty spooky! O’Neill makes everyone watch the Skinamarink Horror trailer, and Aaron and Andrew want nothing to do with it. Andy reveals a secret about adult film stars. They talk spooky cele...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Danish and O’Neill try to give the Bushman a proper eulogy, but they just roast him to Andrew‘s horror. (It’s what he would have wanted!) And, O’Neill meets the ultimate Scrooge Karen at a grocery store. There's much more on the Patreon side, so check it out if you have...

The episode starts on a somber note, as we mourn the loss of Los Angeles' beloved mountain lion, P-22. However, O'Neill is quick to point out that he feels that P-22 wasn't euthanized, but instead, there was foul play involved. Different P-22 theories and ideas emerge, as we give him the goodbye he deserves. Andrew talks about his body and the different colors certain body parts are. He also calls...

The episode opens up with Andrew talking about Dolph Lundgren's TED Talk. After that, there's some parrot and Stockton, CA talk. There's then a smooth transition into discussing a UFC fighter who has the last name Holtzman. We also have some mortician talk. Andrew decides to write a letter to O'Neill's wife to apologize for some past comments he's made on the show. It goes super well. That goes in...

This episode starts with the entire gang having Wendingo nightmares to report. Then, O’Neill sets a fire during Thanksgiving Dinner via the dreaded Green Bean Casserole preparation. Andrew brings up a point about ancient sculptures, which triggers an O'Neill vs. Andrew debate on ancient art as it pertained to weiner size in statues. And the show ends with the guys listening to a great new river pi...

Ryan tells a story of having an encounter with a Native American trickster spirit (a wendingo) in the dream world, and Andrew thinks it followed him home. What does this mean for the Beach Cops? Andrew reads the tarot (on his phone) for Ryan, and the devil is revealed once again. There's also some talk about cold weather pole-licking. Enjoy! 

Aaron starts off the episode with a wild cautionary tale of athletic supporters and emergency dumps. This leads Andrew to demand jock strap lingerie equality for men. Then, a business idea erupts that involved Danish’s Jewish Christmas tree menorah patch, and they debate how many and what kind of birds could lift Andy for a flying show. This leads to O’Neill coming up with a kissing booth idea for...