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Roll up Roll up and come and see The Clowns! No, not the ones that startled you at a circus as a child giving you lifelong coulrophobia but the less then famous band and stars of the 1980 classic "Terror on Tour" which is a complete lie as they're not on tour anyway. You'll find out all about the Secret Room of Blood, whatever happened to The Names (not them ones), the best way to order a pizza an...

Welcome to the simple tale of a woman, a boring woman about to be married who goes for a wild night in Vegas and ends up marrying a sort of famous man. It is of course the 2012 classic "I Married Who?" starring Kellie Martin and Ethan Erickson.  You will learn all about how marriage anulment doesnt work, why you cant get married drunk in vegas, things to watch out for in men and the introduction o...

Climb aboard the Rock 'n' Roll Express this week stopping at Meatloaf Junction, Kaki Parkway and Country and Western Boulevard where this service terminates. We are talking of course about the 1980s classic "Roadie" about a man who becomes a roadie, meets Roy Orbison and gives a child to Alice Cooper. Its really weird is what we are saying. You will learn about Meatloaf and his tiny feet, robotic...

Summer is now supposedly over and so we want to get right into the autumn/fall feels with this slice of leafy pie. That is 2020's Sweet Autumn starring Nikki "Peaches" Deloach and Andrew Walker in a simple tale of death, candy and pumpkins. You will learn all about how much maple syrup is worth, the best way to lurk at a campsite, the joys of capitalism and why you shouldnt let chocolate tell you...

Before we start can I just say sorry, this is a bad film with bad things.  This week we take you through the 1973/4 movie "Nightmare Circus" or Terror Circus or Caged Women 2 or like a billion other names it went under. Its stinky. Really really stinky. But we watch these things so you dont have to.  You will hear all about the Nolan Sisters, what actually constitutes a circus, the best breakfast...

We are back, back again with an in depth look at 2017's "Walking the Dog" a film described by some people as existing. Revel in the in depth plot line about a bike path! Gasp at the mysterious elderly gentleman suitor! Be afraid as 90 minutes passes with NOTHING HAPPENING! You'll also learn about suspicious mother/daughter relationships, how to run a business out of literally anywhere and why bicy...

No new episode this week as Joe is on holiday as its his birthday, 25 again! But he wanted to leave you a little message of thanks and ask for your help in some issues close to his heart.  If you can donate to any of these charities please do but understand you are under no obligation to by any stretch of the imagination ok. Your continued listenership is enough The UK Sepsis Trust    The Trussell...

It's a hot hot day here at Hallmark of Greatness so why not open a cold beverage and listen as we review the 2012 classic Undercover Bridesmaid starring Brooke Burns and Justin Baldoni. Its basically Miss Congeniality but without Michael Caine. You can learn all about karate kicks, exploding cakes, the worst bridal shower in existence and the real life Bang Bang Bart! Follow us on Twitter @hallmar...

Strap on your Mobile Units, check your S.P.O.T. and let us take you through the 1986 classic "Eliminators" as voted for by you, yes you. It stars Tasha Yar off of Star Trek TNG and some other people. Its a tale as old as time, a dead pilot is brought back as so Mandroid to travel through time to steal Roman shields for a bad guy. You know, the usual. You will learn all about the latin for egg, the...

Prepare dear listener for tale as old as time as we take you through 2015's Unleashing Mr. Darcy starring Cindy Busby and Ryan Paevey in a somewhat bizarre retelling of Jane Austens " Pride and Prejudice" but with more tiny dogs. You will hear all about party etiquette, why nobody knows what lacrosse is, why dog shows are for idiots and why eveyones mother always run a bridal shop in these films....

This weeks film of choice is the 1988 Godfrey Ho classic "NInja Strike Force" or more accurately "Three Very Different Films Cut Together: The Movie". For what he have here is a story about a young man trying to make his way in the world against a system that holds him down, a film about a bike factory/race and some ninjas fighting in the park. You will learn all about church roof swords, terrible...

With all the nonsense of Half-mas out of the way we return once more to the serene waters of regular Hallmark movies starting with 2016's Anything for Love starring Erika Christensen and Paul Greene. You will learn about farty shoulders, wet meat food, the Crimes of Brandon, why women love their top half and why being a male nurse is apparently the worst thing in the world. Seriously they go on li...

Joined by the ever lovely Planty we are also joined this week by the indomitable That Fking Guy to review 2000's "masterpiece" Dungeons & Dragons with Jermeys Iron and Little Jimmy Olson. I dont really know what to say about this, plagued by technical issues and the fact the film is borderline unwatchable this is not the best epsidoe ever despite having one of the best line ups. So I understan...

Rounding out Half-mas is the publicly voted for 2021's A Dickens of a Holiday! Yes, with an exclamation point, like that town Westward Ho! Stupid. You will learn all about sexy phone voices, terrible action sequences, nostalgia pies and how to be the best Scrooge you can be. Follow us on Twitter @hallmarkofgreat Instagram @hallmarkofgreatness Email hallmarkofgreatness@gmail.com

Half-mas is in full effect as we present 2017's Snowmance for your approval. Reccomended to us by Abbie Stabby (check out her art and twitch and all that) we offer you a humble story of a mad lass who wants to do deep kissing on a snowman. Be prepared for fish jokes, sad snow angels, lady Dwight Schrute, snow nipples, sweeping zombies and Dean Popadopolis Follow us on Twitter @hallmarkofgreat Inst...

In a change from the usual Half-mas nonsense we offer you 2019's Empire of the Dark that is part Neil Breen, part Fatal Deviation and all Zap Rowsdower! You will learn about lanky Jawas, the importance of necks, sweaty King Arthur, explosive bread rolls, the correct way to bless things and a car that fires bridges at you! Follow us on Twitter @hallmarkofgreat Instagram @hallmarkofgreatness Email h...

Its Half-mas so you get a half episode! 2018's A Very Nutty Christmas starring Melissa Joan Hart, Barry Watson and not Kathy Najimy. You can hear all about biscuits named after family, why climbing a christmas tree is sometimes the answer and what Katies superhero power and name would be.  Follow us on Twitter @hallmarkofgreat Instagram @hallmarkofgreatness Email hallmarkofgreatness@gmail.com

Its Half-Christmas so we're leading you by the hand through the 2005 "classic" Meet the Santas with Steven Guttenberg out of Police Acadamy and Armin Shimerman what was in Star Trek DS9. You will hear a lot of bad santa laughs, resuable hairstyles, the rules of teleportation and why santa can't marry his mum apparantly. Follow us on Twitter @hallmarkofgreat Instagram @hallmarkofgreatness Email hal...

This week we let you vote for what we would watch and you picked 1995's Dinosaur Island and we couldnt hate you more for picking it.  You'll find out all about low quality puppets, The Sacred Rite of Oom-Pah-Pah, the correct amount of bosoms a lady should have (apparently) and why this island only has one horse but an infinite supply of young women. Follow us on Twitter @hallmarkofgreat or follow...

We're here to take you on a country hike to the 2017 classic Campfire Kiss starring Danica McKellar and Paul Greene. With Dana as a sort of uptight maths teacher and Steve as a jerky boss of the jerk store will they find love while up a mountain or something. I dunno. They don't eat each other like in Alive anyway. You'll learn how to tell the difference between a horse and water feature, why just...

Strap on your space suits as we lead you down the forest path that is 1990's Alienator starring Jan-Michael Vincent and the fabulous Teagan Clive. Joined by Planty once again, You will learn all about American Last of the Summer Wine remakes, DCI Burnside off of The Bill, ornamental land mines, the power of nets and Mr Kiplings exceedingly good bras. Follow us on Twitter @hallmarkofgreat or follow...

All new line-up, same old nonsense. This week its 2020's Love's Second Chance starring Gabrielle Christian and Cody Ray Thompson. What should have been a sure fire hit in terms of Hallmark movies what we actually got was a film so slow, glaciers get angry and tell it to speed up. You'll learn all about Little Charlie Chino, the perils of tandem bikes and the introduction of THE WANG CLANG! As ment...

This week James and Joe are joined by Mark from 100 Things we learned from Film to take you through the 1987 Italian classic Interzone starring ladies favourite Bruce Abbott, Beatrice Ring and Joes current obsession Teagan Clive. You will learn all about Electric Priests, Rhythmic Steven & his Gyrating Fiddle Band, the sexiest foods to eat (for sex) and what happened to Rene off of 'Allo 'Allo...

This week, Joe and new permanent main show resident Berni are joined by Katie fresh off her debut in The Demolitionist as we tackle 2015's Bridal Wave starring Arielle Kebbel and Andrew W. Walker as a mismatched bride and a feckless architect. You will learn all about Murder Grottos, old lady Helmet Hair and we still don't fully know what PuPu is.  Follow us on Twitter @hallmarkofgreat Instagram @...

We’re joined by a special friend of the podcast this week as we go through 1995's The Demolitionist starring Nicole Eggert as a reanimated cop who has to avenge their death. Sound familiar? Yeah we get that too. You will however learn about the worlds most expensive posing pouch, how to wield a BattlePole, why you should be wary of night time window cleaners and play "who wants to kiss these cold...