Pure Desire Podcast

It’s here—a NEW group resource for single women! What does it look like to live sexually healthy as a single woman? Today, authors Heather Kolb and Ashley Jameson join us to talk through our new resource for single women, Authentically You. They talk through who is the target audience, what makes Authentically You unique, the differences between this new resource and other resources we have for wo...

“Separation” is usually a swear word for church folk.  This is understandable when it’s done wrong. But separation can actually be a healthy tool used for the restoration of a marriage.  Today, we’re joined by a Pure Desire Clinician, Eileen Fagan, who defines a healthy or “therapeutic” separation and the benefits it can give a struggling couple. We talk through natural hesitations or fears with m...

When Christians are faced with the word “addiction,” there can be a significant reaction against something we don’t see clearly in Scripture. The word “addiction” doesn’t naturally seem to fit into our theological framework.  Today, we’re joined by author and speaker, Ben Bennett, to give us a new framework for reconciling addiction and theology. We explore how Scripture speaks directly to addicti...

The term “mental health” can be fuzzy. Are we talking about anxiety? Depression? Something more? All of the above?  Ben Bennett joins us today to talk about the connection between viewing pornography and mental health issues. Ben speaks of porn’s role in his personal battle with depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideations and how recovery impacts our mental health, our faith in Jesus, and our abil...

We all know communication is important. But what does healthy communication look like for a couple on the recovery and healing journey? Shari Chinchen, a Pure Desire Clinician, joins us today to discuss what makes communication healthy or unhealthy. We also discuss how to keep healthy communication a priority AND how to train our kids for healthy communication in their relationships. RESOURCES Ful...

Many men who’ve been through the Pure Desire recovery process have asked, “What’s after Seven Pillars of Freedom ?” Well, today’s episode is all about answering this question. Clinician and speaker, Robert Vander Meer, joins us to talk about our new resource, The Compassionate Warrior (to which Robert contributed). We talk through what this resource is, how it helps men see their life and recovery...

Today, we get to hear from Robert Nelson and Annie Burt (staff members at Faith Chapel in Billings, Montana). Robert and Annie talk us through their journey of implementing Pure Desire groups and resources at Faith Chapel. We talk through initial hurdles, challenges they’ve faced, the fruit they’re seeing from their efforts, and lots in between. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Betrayal & Be...

Today’s episode is one of our favorites! We have another Frequently Asked Questions episode where you, the listener, has sent in topical questions for us to discuss. We are joined by Traci Wright, one of our beloved clinicians, to talk about idolizing recovery, anniversaries of trauma, disclosure in dating and engagement, and more. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Pure Desire Online Groups C...

Though true healing and freedom from sexual addiction and brokenness is possible, it doesn’t mean the journey will be easy. The world we live in is still hyper-sexualized and full of things that can pull us away from health. On today’s episode, we talk about slippery slopes—areas or aspects of our lives that can be problematic in our sexual health. And there may be some that surprise you! We talk...

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is often associated with major trauma—wartime experiences, rape, and abuse. Studies increasingly show that PTSD is also experienced by betrayed partners. Rather than ignore or minimize it, let’s do something about it.  RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Betrayal & Beyond Dr. Steffens Research Stress Index The Body Keeps The Score Pure Desire Groups GET STA...

For those who regularly listen to the show, we have a return guest. This guy has shared his story about the journey from porn star to a pastor. Today, we’re excited to have Joshua Broome back on the show to talk about his new book, 7 Lies That Will Ruin Your Life . We talk through all seven lies, identifying how they impact sexual brokenness and disrupt our healing. We also discuss some initial st...

We know sex trafficking exists in our world and is a growing problem. But it’s not something that’s talked about in many faith communities. On today’s episode, we’re going to talk about it! We’re thrilled to have Matt McCaulley and Kevin Whisman on the show: two guys who have spent the last few years writing, directing, and producing a full-length feature film called unDEFILED . We’ll talk about P...

“Just wait until I get married, then it will all get better.” These words have either been said or thought by many of us in the church. We assume being married and having sex with our spouse will rid us of our sexual brokenness or compulsive behaviors. Unfortunately, this is a myth.  On today’s episode, our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen, joins us to talk through why this myth exists, the damag...

When addiction, brokenness, and betrayal enter a marriage, it can significantly impact a couple’s sexual relationship. Unfortunately, sexual brokenness and betrayal are not the only things that can hijack a couple’s sex life.  On today’s episode, we’re joined by Brent and Nicole Breining, who are part of the Pure Desire family. Brent, a clinician for Pure Desire, and his wife, Nicole, share how so...

For many of us who are on the recovery and healing journey, understanding the full scope of intimacy can be confusing. If you’re in this camp, you won’t want to miss this episode! We are excited to have Phil and Priscilla Fretwell on the show today! They are co-founders of Savage Marriage Ministries and authors of Savage Marriage: Triumph Over Betrayal and Sexual Addiction —their story of addictio...

Relapse is returning to the place we promised God, ourselves, or others we wouldn’t go back to. So preventing relapse is a worthy goal. But can relapse be prevented proactively and practically? The answer: yes. On today’s episode, Mike Maxwell leverages his many years in recovery and leading Pure Desire groups to help us learn tools and techniques for preventing relapse. RESOURCES Full Episode Vid...

It’s difficult to understate the importance of community in recovery. But honesty in community isn’t easy. It requires intention and a willingness to be fully known. Dishonesty leads to shame and isolation. Honesty leads to freedom. Brent Breining, a Pure Desire Clinician, joins us today to discuss how to break secrecy, how to be honest in daily life, and why this actually matters.  RESOURCES Full...

Unprocessed trauma has a way of making itself known. Triggers reveal areas in our life where something isn’t quite right. If we’re not willing to address these areas, they can become a major obstacle in our relationships, workplace advancement, and breaking free from addiction. Heather Kolb is on the podcast today to talk about how the brain processes trauma and how we heal from trauma.  RESOURCES...

Shame is often used as a motivator. But shame only motivates us to do one thing: hide. Shame causes us to hide because we start to believe the lie that our mistakes and missteps are proof that we are disqualified to receive love and acceptance. But Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection are evidence of the immense worth and value of humans. Rodney Wright joins us today to talk about why shame perpet...

Solitude is an intentional time alone for renewal and centering yourself on God. Isolation is a pattern of disengaging from or intentionally not engaging in relationship with others. In this episode, we identify what isolation is, how it’s different from solitude, and why isolation is like gasoline on the addictive fire. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Recovery Resource For Women Recovery R...

When we get toward the end of the year, setting new goals perpetually comes up. Why is this? And how can we create goals we’ll actually stick to? Our clinical director, Tyler Chinchen, joins us on today’s episode to talk about yearly goals, how to set them, how to maintain them, and why they matter on the recovery and healing journey. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) The Compassionate Warrio...

Self-care isn’t selfish. Yet, establishing rhythms of self-care can impact the people around us both positively and negatively. If we want to practice proactive self-care, it will require an intentional, thought-out plan that is communicated to our loved ones. Kelly Johnston, our Online Women's Groups Coordinator, is on the podcast today discussing how to maintain self-care, how to find things tha...

What is it about the holiday season that makes conflict more likely? It seems inevitable. So how can we engage in conflict in a healthy way? In today’s episode, Ashley Jameson helps unpack strategies for healthy conflict (even if you’re conflict-avoidant), how to help our loved ones engage in healthy conflict, and why this matters to our recovery. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Necessary E...

The holidays are packed with clashing expectations in relationships. Assertiveness is one of the tools we can use to navigate these challenging situations. Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive—it simply means clearly communicating your needs to others. In this episode, Heather Kolb joins us to discuss how to be assertive, the benefits of being assertive about your needs, and how to naviga...

This week’s episode wraps up our “oldy but goody” episodes. Today, we revisit our conversation with Heather Kolb on a healthy sex life. Everyone wants a healthy sex life. Period. But what does it actually mean to have one? How often should married couples have sex? What qualifies as good sex? How do you improve the health of your sex life? We talk about ALL of this on today’s episode. RESOURCES  F...