Pure Desire Podcast

In this honest and compassionate conversation, we explore the hidden struggles pastors often face—and why many suffer in silence. Our guest, Cal Rychener, unpacks the key barriers that keep church leaders from seeking help, including fear, shame, and unrealistic expectations. We look at the dangerous impact unaddressed struggles can have on both the pastor and the church, and the steps leadership...

In this special episode, Nick Stumbo and Ashley Jameson sit down to share the heart behind their new book, Hope, Healing, and Freedom. Written from their own journeys through pornography addiction and betrayal trauma, this book offers a deeply personal yet practical roadmap toward lasting recovery. They discuss why telling their story together matters, the reasons pornography has become such a wid...

In this vital and eye-opening episode, we speak with Hannah Ashwell from QuitPorn Faith about the complex, often misunderstood topic of sex addiction within the Church—especially when it involves individuals who have offended or are at risk of offending. Hannah shares the most common misconceptions churches hold and how these can hinder true healing and safety. We explore how faith communities can...

In the raw aftermath of betrayal, survival mode often takes over—leaving clarity and stability out of reach. In this episode, Eileen Fagan shares the three critical tools every betrayed spouse needs to integrate quickly in the early days post-discovery. We explore why these tools matter, what “integration” looks like when trauma is fresh, and how they can offer safety and emotional grounding even...

The day of discovery—when a partner finds out their spouse has been viewing porn—can feel like emotional devastation. In this powerful episode, we dive into the six most important steps betrayed partners should take in the aftermath, including reaching out for support, setting healthy boundaries, and allowing space for emotional chaos.  Our guest, Heather Kolb, sheds light on why the pain of disco...

The first 60 days after discovery or disclosure are some of the most overwhelming—and critical—moments in the recovery journey. In this episode, we unpack why this window matters so much and how to navigate it with clarity and purpose.  Our guest and clinician for Pure Desire, Josh Andrew, shares the top three tools every individual should begin using right away: the Recovery Action Plan, the Esca...

Getting caught looking at porn can be an emotionally overwhelming experience, filled with shame, confusion, and fear. In this episode, we sit down with Jason Karsten to explore the six most crucial steps someone should take immediately after discovery—from seeking support and establishing boundaries to giving themselves grace and beginning the healing process. Jason shares practical advice on taki...

In this episode, Debby Flanagan shares valuable insight into what comes after the first year of recovery—a season often marked by both growth and new challenges. As the initial intensity of group begins to settle, many wonder: What’s next? Debby offers guidance on how to discern the right next step—whether it’s repeating a group, starting a new workbook, or stepping into leadership. She unpacks wh...

In this insightful episode, Tyler Chinchen unpacks the importance of knowing when group alone isn’t enough—and how seeking additional support can actually deepen the healing process. While recovery groups offer connection, structure, and hope, some seasons call for more personalized help. Tyler shares the key signs that someone might benefit from working with a counselor, coach, spiritual director...

In this honest and hope-filled episode, Ashley Jameson shares wisdom from her own recovery journey and years of walking with others through the group process. Together, we explore the reality that healing in a group isn’t a straight line—it’s filled with both highs and lows.  Ashley highlights the moments that bring encouragement and motivation, as well as the common challenges that can cause doub...

In this episode of our series, The Ideal Group Member , Rich Moore joins us to talk about what it really means to “start group well”—and why those first few weeks can make all the difference in the healing journey. He unpacks the key mindsets and attitudes that help set the tone for lasting growth, along with common mistakes to avoid when beginning a Pure Desire group.  From the importance of cons...

In this transformative episode, Harry Flanagan unpacks the vital role of a spiritual growth plan in long-term healing and freedom. He shares why a clear, intentional path isn’t just helpful—it’s essential, especially for those navigating recovery. What does a spiritual growth plan actually look like? Is there a rhythm that fosters consistency without becoming rigid? Harry addresses common gaps in...

In this episode of the Foundations of Freedom series, Heather Kolb joins us as we dive deep into the battlefield of the mind—where true healing begins. From a neuroscience perspective, we explore how the brain processes sexual brokenness and trauma, and why understanding this is key to lasting transformation. Many people believe they’re just “wired this way,” but what if you could actually retrain...

Sobriety isn’t just about stopping a behavior—it’s about building a new way of living. In this powerful episode, Stuart Blade dives into what it truly means to establish sobriety and not just temporarily abstain. He shares practical steps for protecting your progress, limiting the damage of past behaviors, and preventing future setbacks.  For those just starting out, Stuart offers insight into the...

In this episode, Kelly Johnston, the Women’s Groups Lead at Pure Desire, shares her profound insights on the healing journey and the importance of “surrendering to the process.” We explore how trust and vulnerability play key roles in surrendering control and embracing God’s timing, despite the fear and resistance many women face.  Kelly discusses common obstacles in recovery and how to navigate t...

In this episode, we are joined by Sam Jolman. He is the author of, The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality , and an expert in the field of sexual health and addiction recovery. Today we’re going to dive deep into the complexities of pornography use, compulsive sexual behavior, and the path to healing. Sam shares insights into how these behaviors can become addictive...

In this powerful kickoff to our Foundations of Freedom series, we sit down with John Begeman to explore why breaking free from denial is the critical first step in the healing journey. Often masked as a form of protection, denial can quietly keep us stuck—especially in the face of sexual brokenness or betrayal trauma.  John unpacks the subtle ways people remain unaware of their pain and the emotio...

Register for the 2025 Summit Now! In today’s episode, Bob Vander Meer and Heather Kolb join us to preview the upcoming Pure Desire Summit, sharing their excitement and insights about this year’s event. With the theme "Anchored in Hope," they discuss how the Summit aims to foster connection, growth, and healing for attendees from all walks of life. We reflect on what sets the Pure Desire Summit apa...

In this insightful episode, Dr. Jake Porter shares his expertise on sex addiction and betrayal trauma through the powerful lens of the theme Anchored in Hope .  Drawing from neuroscience, attachment theory, and spiritual truth, Dr. Jake unpacks how understanding the brain's role in addiction and trauma can offer a renewed sense of hope to those feeling stuck in cycles of pain. He explores how coup...

In this episode, Dr. Adrian Hickmon, founder of Capstone Treatment Center, shares his deep insights into the transformative power of hope in recovery, particularly for those struggling with addiction and trauma. Drawing on his firsthand experience, he explores how hope anchors individuals, helping them rediscover purpose and faith amidst emotional pain.  Adrian sheds light on how people can break...

In this powerful and deeply compassionate episode, Dr. Sheri Denham Keffer joins us to explore the theme Anchored in Hope—a lifeline for those navigating the stormy waters of sexual betrayal, trauma, and addiction. With wisdom drawn from years of walking alongside individuals in pain, Dr. Sheri unpacks how rediscovering our true identity in Christ fosters self-awareness, ignites healing, and groun...

In this episode, we dive into the world of neurodivergence and its unique connection to addiction and recovery. Our guest, Jenna Riemersma, shares insights into what neurodivergence means and offers examples of behaviors that may be seen in neurodivergent individuals.  We explore the specific challenges they face when dealing with addiction and recovery, and how mental health stigma can impact the...

In this episode, we delve deep into the intersection of mental health, trauma, and unwanted sexual behavior, exploring how our past experiences shape our present struggles. Our guest, Jay Stringer, shares powerful insights into the connection between unresolved wounds and their impact on mental health, offering practical guidance on how to approach healing with curiosity instead of self-condemnati...

In this episode, we dig into the intersection of pornography use, social media, and mental health, exploring how these modern influences are shaping our perceptions of intimacy, relationships, and self-worth. We discuss how most people's journey with porn typically begins, early signs that it’s negatively affecting mental health, and how social media plays a significant role in fueling these behav...

In this episode, we explore the intersection of faith and mental health with Dr. Carol Tanksley who has dedicated their life to helping others heal from fear, anxiety, grief, and more. We’ll talk about the Church’s role in addressing mental health struggles, unpack common misconceptions Christians hold about anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges, and discuss how believers can dis...