Process Field Notes

Razzy is in the sun by the back door. Full stretch. Eyes half-closed. Bucky is on the couch. He’s been there an hour. He has no plans. He has no anxiety about not having plans. The lighter one. The breather. Two dogs who are better at the thing I keep writing about than I am. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit t...

There’s a table in my office that’s never clean. Notes, drafts, sketches, half-finished things. All of it happening at once. My twelve-year-old walked by and said, “What are you even making?” I didn’t have a good answer. But this episode is what I came up with. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.su...

She was folding laundry. I was standing in the doorway with nothing particular to say. That’s it. That’s the whole scene. And somehow it’s enough for an entire essay about what intimacy actually looks like after you’ve been with someone through decades of change. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess....

I was at a conference last fall. Good city. Good food. Interesting people. And the whole time, something was off. Not wrong. Just dimmer. It took me two days to name it. This one’s about what happens when you realize the best version of any experience includes the people you left at home. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus epis...

March comes around again. Another year. The light shifts before anything else does. Birthdays used to feel like milestones. Now they feel like weather. This one’s about what you notice when you stop counting and start looking around. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.substack.com

He’s almost eye level now. Twelve years old. When I hug him, I’m not bending down anymore. I remember when every decision felt like it would break something. The school. The food. The screen time. All of it, life or death. Twelve years in, the weight is different. This one’s about where it goes. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bon...

We were talking about AI. Careers. Whether any of it would still matter in five years. The usual loop. Then he told me about his family. And everything we’d been talking about just disappeared. Mary Oliver asked: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Most of us never stop long enough to answer. This one’s about why you probably should. This is a public episode....

My son is twelve, and he only wants to talk about Star Wars. I don’t mean he likes it. I mean it’s the only thing. Every car ride. Every dinner. I asked “Hey, tacos tonight? What do you think? He said, “Did you know Ahsoka Tano was originally supposed to die in Season 5?” That’s what we’re working with. For a long time I thought he was stuck. That he needed to broaden out, diversify, become more w...

Last night I watched ten boys realize it was over. Final whistle. End of the season, end of the road. Some of them stood on the field for a while after. Not talking. Just standing in it. Then the parents arrived. And the finger pointing continued, everywhere except inward. Roosevelt said the credit belongs to the person actually in the arena. Not the critic in the stands. Not the spectator who poi...

I’ve been reading this play. It’s about two guys standing by a road, waiting for someone named Godot. They don’t know when he’s coming. They don’t know what he looks like. They wait the entire play. He never shows up. For reasons I couldn’t explain at the time, it made more sense than anything I’d read in months. This episode is about waiting. The deeper kind of waiting. The kind where you’re wait...