No One Ever Told Me

The notion that it takes a village has become a euphemism for ‘parenting is hard, don’t go at it alone’. And it’s truer today more than ever. But it doesn’t just take a village or tribe to raise a child, it takes a village to raise a mother. It’s time for us to rebuild the village.

It takes courage to look at all the dark unexamined places within yourself. But no one gets a free pass in life from dealing with themselves. Ignorance isn’t bliss, it’s an unexamined life.

It takes effort to feel mentally stimulated in motherhood. It takes effort to connect with other mothers in the community who may be on a similar path. It takes effort not to get sucked up in what can feel like groundhog day of the same routine. We’re willing to put that effort into our careers, so why not do so for our role as mothers?

So many of us are searching for partners, with long lists of criteria that need to be filled in order for us to give them a second glance on a dating app. But few of us would put ‘loves conditionally’ at the top of the list. And maybe it’s time we start doing so.

Being busy is a mindset, not a state of being. More often than not, busy-ness means we aren’t being present in the in-between moments of our lives. Busy doesn’t mean fulfilled. It doesn’t mean important, purposeful, or productive. It means our lives are frenetic, lacking thoughtful contemplation and consideration of how we spend our time. And it can be difficult to actively avoid this tempo of mod...

We live in a culture that continually chases happiness  and as a result, we are destined for a life of disappointment. This eternal chase is a type of toxic positivity that is burrowing deep into our minds and preventing us from pursuing lives worth living. I’m not happy in my relationship so I’ll leave it. I'm not happy as a parent so I’ll drown my sorrows in alcohol and pharmaceuticals. I’m...

Motherhood doesn't have to strip us of our identity. If our identities are tied up with the activities we enjoyed in everyday life pre-babies, then perhaps we haven’t explored ourselves deeply enough. Never is there a more important time than in our youth to heed Socrates’ advice to ‘Know thyself’. Are we telling women they should want to maintain their youth, despite the physical and emotiona...

Our day-to-day is filled with the types of conveniences that are supposed to make life easier, more time efficient. We have delivery services and on-demand for absolutely everything: lunch, alcohol, toilet paper, entertainment, the list goes on. Even romance is available at the click of a button. We date at the swipe of a button, we order our groceries and meals via apps with faceless drivers, and...

I recently caught up with a friend I hadn’t seen since having my son. Once we got to the topic of my decision to stay at home with my son instead of returning to work there was a congratulatory smile, an inquisitive look, and a question I’m sure a lot of mums get asked…  So what do you do with all your free time? The truth is we are born on this beautiful Earth, incarnate in miraculous bodies of f...

In a world where masculinity is labelled as ‘toxic’ and we are simultaneously encouraging women to be assertive, dominant and outspoken yet empathetic, sensitive and humble, I can only imagine the confusion that children growing up today must be experiencing. If a man is outspoken he is oppressive, if a woman is outspoken she’s a girl boss. If a man is assertive he is controlling, if a woman is as...

So much of the modern wave of feminism is about tearing down the patriarchy, antagonising men for being historically oppressive, and oftentimes (in my experience), being loud, brash and entitled about being a woman. I wish we lived in a time where masculinity and femininity were celebrated equally for being biologically, socially, and spiritually critical components to life. I wish we didn’t have...

Listen to any podcast on parenting or read any article in mainstream publications about being a woman and you will hear a consistent theme: women have it tough. We have to carry the burden of reproductive responsibility, the physical toll of pregnancy and childbirth, and the mental load of family life. No one ever told me we feel this way because we aren’t placing enough value on ourselves; on the...

When preparing to go on maternity leave I naively assumed I would be ready to go back to work after six months. I thought I would relish the opportunity to ‘use my brain again’ as I heard so many women before me declare with confidence. The minute my son arrived I knew that six months was never going to be enough. I surprised myself in how utterly content I was being a mother, and I’m trying to un...

Welcome to No One Ever Told Me. It's really nice to have you here. I’m Paige, a new mum, a former corporate career woman, and an individual on a quest to understand the way our culture is evolving. Over the last few years I’ve found myself drifting away from the mainstream narrative about what it means to be a modern woman: career driven, hyper-sexual, empowered feminists, who are independent...