Nathan's School of Thought

When I curate photos, as a photographer, I have to decide which ones are relevant, which ones are beautiful, which ones take me back to a time or place or situation, which ones are most likely to be valued by the recipient or by me, and can I get rid of the rest?  Curating life is much the same. What things matter most? What are the greatest distractions in my life? If you were to take the experie...

In this podcast, Nathan discusses the importance of The Three R's™: Respect, Respond, and Redirect™. Nathan helps us understand and address the underlying emotions driving disruptive behavior to effectively defuse conflicts. Illustrated by an incident during a training session in New York City, Nathan explains how to effectively handle interruptions and conflicts in multiple settings, includi...

In this episode, I share personal reflections on my 40-year marriage journey with my wife, starting from our humble beginnings with no understanding of how to navigate life together, to celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary. I recount the challenges we faced, including financial difficulties, the birth of our children, and the trials of raising a family, with a focus on the spontaneous and unpr...

This podcast delves into the profound impact stories have on individuals and societies, illustrating through historical and literary examples how narratives can inspire change, dictate perceptions, and influence actions. It discusses the effect of literature like Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War', the moral dilemmas in Victor Hugo's 'Les Miserables', the deceptive tranquilit...

Revitalizing Relationships: Don't Let Your Bonds Become Stagnant In this heartfelt talk, I share analogies that  highlight the importance of keeping relationships fresh, just like spring water. I emphasize the concept of honoring the 'bids', or attempts at connection, from others, to encourage healthy progress in relationships. Stagnant water in a stream is akin to stagnant relation...

Episode 78 Happiness  and Change, No Matter What Others Think: Confronting Self-Consciousness & Embracing Your Ability To Become In this reflective talk, Nathan discusses the often subtle insecurities we carry about our appearances and how these thoughts can impact us. He deciphers how insecurity is common, and that the best way to confront it is by shifting our focus from how we look, to the...

Podcast 77: Regret, Loneliness, and Good Things To Come In this episode, Nathan discusses the experience of regret and provides a deeper exploration of the feelings that arise during the holiday season. He urges the listener to not dwell on past mistakes and instead embrace the learning opportunities they provide. Reinforcing this point, Nathan quotes John Greenleaf Whittier and Henry David Thorea...

This episode is titled "Podcast 76: Childhood Trauma, Adult Shame, and Grace." It follows Nathan’s personal experience of feeling ashamed and embarrassed after nearly missing a VIP dinner at an event he was invited to. He reflects on the childhood trauma that can trigger similar emotions and reactions in adult relationships. Nathan’s counsel emphasizes the importance of giving grace and...

This episode is  podcast 75:  Gratitude - the Wonder Drug." In it, Nathan talks about the power and benefits of gratitude. He shares a personal experience from his youth on the farm, where he felt overwhelmed with gratitude for his family and everything he had. He then goes on to discuss various studies and research that show how gratitude can improve sleep, mood, immunity, decrease depressio...

In this episode, Nathan reminisces about his idyllic farm life during his childhood. The narrative takes an emotional turn as he shares the traumatic story of the death of their pet dog while operating farm machinery. This event leads Nathan to discuss the delicate balance between shielding one’s loved ones from pain versus allowing them to learn from difficult experiences. He uses the example of...

In this episode, we examine labels and how they can impact our identity. We'll explore the importance of reframing labels and understanding that we are not defined by them. I'll share some techniques for self-reflection and embracing the true, unique self beyond the false front created by labels.

Our memories are built on stories. Unfortunately, some of our stories are "anger stories," and in them is a very unhealthy share of negative emotion. If you were unfairly treated by someone else, or bullied or abused--- if they did things that made you angry, if you felt ignored or oppressed in some way, and you tell that story and the anger is present in the story, guess what it does to...

The world is full of people who will do great things when they feel like they're making a noticeable difference. We can talk about motivation until the cows come home, but nothing is a more predictable impetus for good than someone who feels like they matter.  Whether you and I are close friends, casual acquaintances, or maybe I'm just a voice on a podcast, someone you've never met....

All of us deal with anxiety or fear of some kind, and to some amount, for some period of time. As I was studying for NLP certification, I came across this: "Based on metaphysical thinking, there is only one real emotion on the planet--- love. All negative emotions are derivatives of fear." part of my work then is to help people be rid of fear, whether via NLP, or just by being a friend....

When we try to solve problems of any kind, we usually start by trying to find a solution. When some asks what the problems is, we usually say, "I just need…," and describe the solution to a problem we haven't really articulated. The real power is in finding the right problem. I this episode, I'll show you how to get it done.  I can help you find the right problem, and the best...

Finding truth requires effort, not a patronizing pat on the head. Anything virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy leads us toward truth. The opposites of those lead to untruth, to lies. It is a lie that our purpose on earth is to just skip happily through a rainbow world, picking flowers and having food handed to us, while our bodies remain healthy and strong and our friends all praise...

A couple of weeks ago we talked about the Sunk Cost fallacy. The more time and energy we put into a failing strategy, the more unwilling we are to give it up. That's the easiest definition. Not long after that podcast aired, I got a question from a listener, who said something like, "yes, but how do you know? Where's the line and how do you decide? Couldn't staying the course a...

Do you ever feel like your life is just an unbroken string of disasters; of things falling apart, things not working out, and challenges on top of challenges? You are not alone. Most of us suffer similarly, to one degree or another. In this podcast, we'll talk about how disasters bring opportunities, often where you least expect them. Life is meant to be good, and it is, as soon as we learn t...

Hello, my friends. Shall we talk about how messed up humans are, including you? Humans are just weird. We have all these weird tricks that our minds play on us, and not one single one of us is ever immune to this kind of stuff. We have little mental shortcuts we take. We have funny little fallacies that we do, and I'm gonna talk to you about one of them today because I think it will be helpfu...

Happy Independence Day!

I can remember being asked, "who are your heroes?" That question always produces some pretty interesting answers and some pretty varied ones.. You'll get all kinds of stuff. You'll get sports heroes. You'll get military heroes. You'll get, characters from mythology. You'll get scriptural heroes. You'll get heroes from history, all kinds of heroes. And you ca...

Fear of success is not actually a real thing.   Now I know somebody's going to argue with me: "no, I've had fear of success." Well, what you've actually had is fear of failure, but it goes something like this. A lot of times when somebody says they have fear of success, what they have is fear of being found out. So they say, "if I give a speech at this convention, or...