Narcissism Recovery Podcast

Covert Sexual Incest is a term coined by Dr Kenneth Adams to describe the inappropriate enmeshment between a parent and child. This happens when a parent is lonely, and in a dysfunctional relationship of their own looking to the child to fill this void. The child then loses out on their youth and is forced to please the parent by becoming a surrogate spouse. The child feels special and to some deg...

Our beliefs systems are created in childhood as we shape a personality that is based on messages received from parents and surrounding cast. Abuse leaves victims with a core belief system that looks a whole lot like the following: “I am ugly, shameful, and therefore unworthy of love” “I am incompetent” “I am unintelligent” “I am worthless” The list goes on and on. The reason is that every act of a...

Gaslighting is a control tactic done to make victims feel crazy by offering a series of lies masked as truths and forcing victims to doubt themselves and ultimately drives them crazy. Gaslighting is often used by narcissistic abusers to keep control of the relationship and cover up the truth of the relationship ship purpose which is to manipulate victims for personal gain.

It is perfectly normal to have narcissistic tendencies but those with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) have the following traits: - Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance - Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration - Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it - Exaggerate achievements and talents - Be preoccupied with fan...

Any form of abuse will cause extreme shame in victims. Vulnerability which is synonymous with intimacy will become greatly affected. Abuse often distorts, damages, and traumatizes one’s ability to create a sexual identity making being sexual and intimate later in life very difficult. Because there may not have been sexual abuse involved it is diffuse to see how one’s sexuality is effected by abuse...

I was joined by former patient Joseph who discussed his healing journey from an abusive childhood. We discussed the Mind Map and the way it helped him heal from the abandonment wound.

Emotional flashbacks are an indicator of wounds of childhood that have yet to be resolved. According to Pete Walker, an expert on Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a Disorder much like PTSD but experienced by those who are experiencing long term abuse without possibility of escape, describes that when suffering from an emotional flashback there will be great shame and depression that stems f...

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Narcissistic Fathers are entitled and use their family to make them look good. They will cause damage to the children by never allowing them into the spotlight making it all about them. They will bully family members into compliance with a fear and intimidating attitude that makes noncompliance an affront to their authority. Narcissistic fathers cause their family members to feel humiliated and th...

Narcissistic Mothers lack empathy and use others as do other narcissistic abusers but what differentiates them is their disguise as being a super mom and having it all together when in reality they are disrespectful, abusive, and hurtful to those close to them behind closed doors. Narcissistic mothers force their family to serve their needs and will rage at and devalue those who dare not comply. T...

BPD, or Borderline Personality Disorder, is characterized by a pervasive fear of abandonment and extreme emotional dysregulation. Those suffering from this disorder may act clingy and loving in one moment and then rage out in the next moment at any slight of perceived fear of abandoned by friends, partners, and family members. The inability to feel safe and calm the extreme efflux of emotions make...

Narcissistic family units are completely controlled by a narcissistic abuser who has manipulated, bullied, and coerced everyone to serve them. These families, while looking good on the outside, are extremely lacking in love, empathy, and boundaries. The unit is designed to serve the parent and each member is given a role based on how the narcissistic abuser sees their value. These roles include th...

Narcissists are wounded individuals who experienced having a rejecting, neglecting, smothering, controlling, or dismissive parent. In an attempt to feel adequate after feeling worthless from negative treatment, the child will work tirelessly to be good enough in their parents eyes. Narcissists are often formed by parents who idealize their children will set up an expectation that is is unrealistic...

Narcissistic abusers live in a prison of their own mind and look to pull victims into this prison to serve and become a supply of love, adoration, money etc. known as a narcissist supply. Victims of narcissistic abuse are unaware of this dynamics and if they do not catch on soon enough will become stuck in the prison of the narcissist ultimately losing themselves in pursuit of trying to please the...

Neural pathways are created and reinforced when a child experiences repetitive good or negative thoughts, feelings, feedback and messages. When there are continuous wounding experiences, the child is going to have an over reactive emotional brain known as the amygdala and the continuous rapid fire of neurons in the brain causes emotional overwhelm. When the amygdala is overwhelmed, it’s clouds jud...

Childhood abuse of any sort creates a fracture in the self. With extreme abuse as with narcissistic abuse, the child will be unable to build a sense of self resulting in the need to build a false self to avoid the true, battered, shamed, and even annihilated self. Lack of empathy, attunement and consistency by abusive, addicted, or narcissistic parents distrusts the foundation of the child and the...

Narcissistic Abusers use Idealizing, Devaluing & Discarding as a way of controlling victims. The initial love bombing stage is done to make the victim feel exceptional and as if they have found the perfect partner. The narcissistic abuser will then engage in the process of Devaluation which includes put downs, humiliation, gaslighting and withholding of love. The Discard phase is when the narcissi...

The injury to the self, caused by critical, abusive, judgmental or narcissistic parents is called a narcissistic wound. When a child is wounded they will often opt for the false self and pseudo personality, they will be left with a wound that and look to defend against having re-injured. In adulthood, this wounded individual's wounds will get tripped up and activated when in similar situations tha...

Narcissistic abusers, contrary to what appears, have a deep self hate. When a person has a narcissistic injury, an injury to the self in early childhood, they will feel humiliated, weak, shamed, and often times, as a result, will become hateful. This the will manifest its way towards others in narcissistic abuse but in reality it is offloading the very deep sense of hate within. Victims of this fo...

Trauma occurs because of a person being in an unexpected place where they are unprepared and helpless against the threat. An individual under threat will enter into the fight, fright, or freeze response and the emotions of the trauma victim will be stuffed down into the subconscious. If these emotions are not eventually felt and processed, the individual will be at risk of having poisonous emotion...

The Silent Treatment is a passive aggressive control tactic used by narcissistic abusers to emotionally bully victims into submission. This control tactic is often easily deniable and made to seem like the perpetrator wants space but in reality, there is a purpose to the silence. Is it enacted to make victims feel they are wrong and looking within to figure out what they did wrong to deserve to be...

Victims of Narcissistic Abuse will learn to detach from their environment due to the inability to deal with painful stimuli by dissociating. Like the word implies, dissociation is when victims dissociate from their immediate surroundings and escape inward. They often look like they are spacing out and in reality, they are escaping into a fantasy wonderland where the threat is no longer. In order t...

Narcissistic Triangulation is a control technique used by narcissists to keep victims in servitude and feeling shameful. The narcissist will bring in a third party into the relationship to add validity to their claims and create a sense of power where victims feel trapped to comply. Narcissists will use third party individuals, ideas, and doctrines in order to deliver deep hurtful messages without...

Narcissists are exceptional at showing victims the perfect and ideal parent, spouse, business partner, friend etc. this is done by using a technique called “Mirroring”. Mirroring is done by reflecting back to victims the perfect reactions and statements as well as engaging in similar interests when in reality the purpose of the interaction is to exploit and extract narcissistic supply.

I was joined by Mindset Coach Sam Chein to discuss some prevalent topics with regards to narcissism and narcissistic abuse. Have a listen as we dive into topics such as how a narcissist gets created, the signs of a narcissist and how to protect oneself from these predators.