Men Seeking Calm.

Men Seeking Calm is a practical podcast for men who want a calm, grounded, purposeful life. Hosted by Greg Martin, counsellor and lead men’s behaviour change facilitator, this podcast helps men build the skills to handle anger, anxiety, conflict, relationships, co-parenting, and the pressures of everyday life. Each episode is focused on real tools that work under pressure: emotional regulation, co...

Relational repair is what you do after a slip—a sharp comment, a cold shoulder, a broken promise, verbal abuse or worse. It’s the fast, clean act of turning back toward us: notice the rupture, steady yourself, own your part, name the impact, offer a small fix today, check what else is needed, and follow through. Short. Honest. Consistent. That’s repair.

Bickering: Why “Small Stuff” Wrecks Psychological Safety. Episode Description: Bickering looks harmless—quick quips, corrections, sarcasm, point-scoring. We tell ourselves “we’re just talking,” “everyone does it,” “no big deal.” But these “small shots” quietly train both nervous systems to expect micro-threats. Heart rate creeps up, breathing shortens, shoulders tighten, and the brain shifts from...

🎙️ MEN SEEKING CALM Podcast Episode Title: The Heaven’s Reward Fallacy – Why Being “Good” Doesn’t Guarantee a Happy Ending Host: Greg Martin |  WalkTheMountain.com 🔎 Episode Summary: In this episode, Greg shines a spotlight on one of the more frustrating (and exhausting) faulty thinking traps: The Heaven’s Reward Fallacy. This is the quiet belief that if you’re a good man, put in the emotional ef...

🎙️ MEN SEEKING CALM 🧠 Episode: The Control Fallacy — When You're Either the Puppet or the Puppet Master 👤 Hosted by Greg Martin |  http://walkthemountain.com/ EPISODE SUMMARY Welcome back to the MEN SEEKING CALM podcast. In today’s episode, Greg explores the Control Fallacy — a sneaky trap that convinces men they either have total control over everything in their relationship, or absolutely none...

🎙️ MEN SEEKING CALM Podcast Episode Title: Emotional Reasoning: When Feelings Pretend to Be Facts Host: Greg Martin –  WalkTheMountain.com 🧠 Episode Summary In this episode, Greg explores the thinking trap of Emotional Reasoning — the tendency to believe something is true just because you feel it strongly. From feeling like a failure to assuming your relationship is falling apart, emotional reaso...

🎙️ MEN SEEKING CALM Episode Title: The Fallacy of Fairness — When Keeping Score Kills Connection Host: Greg Martin Website:  WalkTheMountain.com 🧠 Episode Summary In this episode, Greg dives deep into one of the most draining cognitive traps for men in relationships: The Fallacy of Fairness. This thinking habit convinces us that life — and love — should always feel "fair," and when it doesn’t, so...

Episode Recap – MEN SEEKING CALM - Blaming Her - with Greg Martin In This Episode: Greg Martin dives deep into one of the most common mental traps that keep men stuck — Blaming Her and offers practical insights for getting unstuck. Today’s episode is about spotting the story in your head before it hijacks your relationship. Key Takeaways: Why blame erodes intimacy and self-worth How these patterns...

In today’s episode, we dive deep into a sneaky and exhausting thinking trap: Personalization (Me-Blame) — the mental habit of believing everything going wrong is somehow your fault. Greg explores how this faulty thinking drains men of energy, inflates guilt, and wrecks intimacy. 🔍 Key Takeaways Personalization = blaming yourself for things you didn’t cause. Often rooted in early emotional conditi...

In this episode of the MEN SEEKING CALM podcast, Greg Martin of WalkTheMountain.com unpacks the sneaky trap of Labeling and Mislabeling — where one mistake becomes your identity and a single moment defines your partner. When men say things like “I forgot the bin — I’m useless” or “She’s nagging — she’s a control freak,” they turn moments into harsh, fixed judgments. This thinking trap shuts down e...

In this episode of the MEN SEEKING CALM podcast, Greg Martin from WalkTheMountain.com explores the cognitive trap of “Should” statements — those internal scripts that sound like motivation but actually breed shame, pressure, and disconnection. In men’s work and relationships, “should” thinking fuels unrealistic expectations of self and others, rooted in cultural and childhood conditioning. Phrases...

In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, we explore the thinking trap of Disaster-thinking — the tendency to assume the worst-case scenario in relationships and treat it as inevitable truth. Men often spiral from minor moments, like a quiet dinner or a single comment, into full-blown emotional catastrophes: breakups, failure, and rejection. Disaster-thinking feels like self-protection but...

In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, Greg Martin explores the thinking trap of Jumping to Conclusions — the mental habit of assuming the worst before knowing the facts. Common in men during relationship stress, this distortion includes mind-reading (“She must hate me”) and fortune-telling (“This is going to end badly”). It’s driven by fear, past wounds, and a deep desire to protect one...

In this episode, we dive into the faulty thinking trap of Disqualifying the Positive — the mental habit of rejecting compliments, kindness, and progress. Whether it’s your partner saying, “Thanks for helping with the kids”, or “I appreciate how you listened”, your inner critic swats it away with thoughts like, “She’s just being polite”or “I still screwed up.” This mindset often stems from past exp...

In this Men Seeking Calm episode, we explore Negative Filtering — the cognitive trap where men obsess over one critical comment or tense moment, ignoring the many things going right in their relationship. Whether it’s a forgotten bin or a frustrated sigh, this faulty thinking filters out gratitude, affection, and shared joy, leaving men feeling like constant failures. Greg shares 10 examples of ho...

In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, explores Overgeneralization — a type of faulty thinking where one bad moment is exaggerated into a total truth. It’s the mental habit of thinking “She snapped at me — she always does,” or “We argued — our relationship must be falling apart.” Greg explains how this distorted thinking turns single events into sweeping judgments, disconnecting men from...

In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, Greg Martin explores the trap of All-or-Nothing Thinking — a rigid, black-and-white mindset where every mistake feels like total failure and every disagreement signals doom. In intimate relationships, this thinking shows up as harsh self-judgment and polarizing assumptions like “If I can’t fix this, I’m useless,” or “She’s upset — our relationship m...

In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, Greg Martin explores “Frozen in Conflict” — a shutdown response many men have when facing tough conversations. Whether it’s criticism, shame, or unresolved anger issues, this reaction can look like silence, withdrawal, or emotional disconnection. Often rooted in emotional flooding, depression as anger, or fear of escalation, this leads to unresolved...

In this episode, Greg Martin from WalkTheMountain.com explores contempt—one of the most damaging forces in relationships. More than just anger issues or anger outbursts, contempt expresses superiority through sarcasm, mockery, and put-downs like “You’re such a loser” or “You can’t do anything right.” It’s not just criticism—it’s humiliation. Contempt often masks deeper pain, unresolved depression...

Defensiveness is another communication choice that degrades Our connection with our partner. Defensiveness is refusing responsibility for our actions: by making excuses, blaming, or denying. We feel overwhelmed by critical feedback. We go into defence mode. Rather than hearing the other person’s concern, defensiveness deflects or reverses blame, This makes it harder to resolve issues. It is a natu...

This episode describes CRITICISM and how it impacts our connection with our partner. … it frays at our connection with our partner. Our connection with our partner is one of life’s greatest assets, and so if we do something damaging to this connection, it’s a big problem. … I am going to discuss positive options for when we feel the need to raise a problem with our partners. Welcome to the MEN SEE...

Welcome to MEN SEEKING CALM. I invite you to Start the Change Journey and to take a walk with me. We cover anger management, male issues and men’s business. My name is Greg Martin from www. WalkTheMountain.com   In this episode I explain why Reaction-Mode is for the Lonely.   If we can work on our Reaction-Mode … we can get to Calm, then Happiness is possible and gettable.   These are the take-a-w...

Today it’s Man Bubble time. greg martin here from WalkTheMountain.com where … We walk together and with other men motivated to take a journey to CALM. Imagine if you will, that you are inside of a big bubble.   The life lesson is that inside this bubble is what you totally control in life. Behold!!!! Your Empire of Control inside the Bubble. Outside the bubble – influence is as good as it gets. In...

In this episode I posit that Targeting Happiness in life … is a mistake. We need to find our way to a Calm Baseline first … in order to get to happiness. I propose that a more useful target is to Seek Calm. This podcast is about getting you to a Calm Baseline. And now you know why I selected Men Seeking Calm as the title of the podcast. Seeking Happiness has many traps which are discussed. Calm Ba...

Domestic violence for men is also described as intimate partner violence and family violence. In this episode I discuss our first relationship skill for this podcast. I discuss empathy to our partners, active listening and our conditioning to fix things and how this can get in the way of our relationship.