Melrose Place Cast

In the first of a new approach, we took robot remix, and asked it to guide Mary through a series of gutwrenching choices. Did robot misunderstand the phrase "robot remix" and make this all sci fi supernatural high tech matrix-y? Yes. We'll fix it next time.

If you had asked us to predict what would cause the longest episode of our podcast ever - we would not have said it was Jane searching for her mother. Truth be told, it's because we started recording much earlier in the evening and felt totally unrestrained. Anyway, we got some gay drama at the restaurant with Matt finding out boyfriend doctor is controlling thanks to yet another patient gay b...

Well, well, well. Let's look back and revisit the joy that was season four. The guest stars, and there were plenty of them, who left us too soon. But which ones would we most want to spend some more time with, if we could? Well, we'll work through this the hard way - and by that, we mean, we're going to include the Parezis in this little game. One pairing at a time, we'll come to a consensus about...

Well, Gail is here, and she is bored. Jane's adopted, as revealed by blood types. Alison doesn't want Jake telling her what to do with her career. Peter is getting stage fright in the same room he tried to murder Amanda Woodward. Kyle comes off as toxic to Gail, who has no backstory, and we can't disagree. Craig Fields who should have a different last name because of Matt Fielding already being a...

Well, when a plan doesn't come together as intended, what happens? Chaos, insurgency, murder, arson, death, destruction, and perhaps one character who sneaks away to plot revenge and a sequel...

Let the record show, we tried very intentionally to be culturally sensitive to a tribe of people who refuse to let us get to know them, to understand their beliefs, customs, and values. Every time we ask, it's just arrow to the chest. Which certainly makes for an interesting pool-side mixer.

Well, by hook or by crook, these two crazy scamps got a group of North Sentinelese to settle into Melrose Place. Hijinx ensue.

We're dealing with first contact, and immediate regret. This week, we take a little dip into a North Sentinelese pond and imagine what would happen if Kimberly and Sydney rolled up on this untouched island.

Well, we're going through with it. All common sense and cultural sensitivity available to us is needed to get through this five-week series. This week, we're zeroing in on *what* Kimberly is doing, how Sydney fits in, and *why* it may just be her most humanitarian work yet.

Well, we're doing what we normally do - taking the half-way point of the year to SLOW DOWN the recording schedule. What's that? You want to know how we could slow it down more than we have? Fair question. Either way, we wanted to give you some hot, fresh, Melrose Place content. Inspired by this idiot, we used robot to imagine what it would look like if we took a tribe untouched by modern society,...

On a more professional podcast, Teege was chastised for finding a way to work Jimmy Carter into discussions of Melrose Place. Challenge accepted, Nathan.

One week before "the most boring episode of Melrose Place ever" - we have a rather good one. We learned the real tea behind Kimberly and Megan, and Michael literally becomes a gift to a woman. Amanda and Taylor keep fighting, and Peter gets Amanda a $10 mood ring. This story line is on a slow boil, and it needs to turn up the heat as impatiently as me cooking macaroni and cheese as a fourteen year...

Okay, let's think about it - who had the saddest story arc of the entire season? To come to a conclusion, Mary and I debate (and remember!) all that happened in season four, to figure out who came out on bottom. There are definitely some upsets. The brackets (in threes - with the third name getting a bye to the second round) are: The Armstrongs Alison Billy *** Brooke Jake & The Girls Jo Jane...

Well, now the full origin story of Victoria Taylor McBride (or whatever her given first name was - we already forgot) is coming to light - but she's still deceiving Peter. And Peter is lying to Amanda, and immediately kicking himself about it. Jake, Alison, and Jane. Whatever. Jane has apologized, admitting she lost control. Jake believes it to be sincere, Alison is suspicious. The real fun is...

Before she arrived in Los Angeles, Kimberly Shaw was a promising young med student from Ohio. Much like Wicked, let's go back in time, and explore how Kimberly became the person we've come to know, love, and fear, from Melrose Place.

Okay, we get it - these episodes are getting a bit on the long side. That said, Melrose Place is adding layers of depth and content and sudsy trashy soap. This week alone, we find out that Megan Lewis has a magical blouse that reveals all Michael needs to know. Kimberly is dangerously sick. Mary has yet to put together the connection between those two things. Sydney continues to scamp about, while...

Catching up on the early seasons, join us as we splash back in time to simpler days: season two of Melrose Place. Which guest star would we MOST want to join us in our podcasting studio? The answer may surprise you. We had 17 people to choose from, so we built a 16 person/team bracket, with one wild card, who can be brought in whenever the choices are too bad. The brackets: Wildcard if needed: Cel...

Well, it's been a while since Mary and I recorded, so we got a little long and rambly. But, Jane continues to be interesting, which is distressing. She is also stalking Jake, and she gets busted. Of course, we are a little shaky, because it was Billy of all people that cracked the case. Weird. Also weird: Samantha. She is going along with Sydney's scheme to hide Sam's identity while Syd sells her...

Since we were so fortunate to have our resident Gen Z expert join us to discuss 5.5 - we posed an intriguing query: If you had to spend a weekend with the characters of Melrose Place, who are you taking where? Which character would be serving at the Chappel Roan concert? Who is more of a classical music girlie? Who doesn't get invited? Let's let our Gen X hearts view ourselves through a Gen Z lens...

Listen ... You just want to hear this story about what's happening in the good town of West Allis, Wisconsin.

Not the worst title they've had in a while. We are to believe that Jane's brief love affair with Jake last season was so deep that she'd now stand by and watch Jake and Alison burn in a fire she accidentally caused. But she did not get this obsessed over Michael and his magical ... okay. Taylor and Peter continue to be an intriguing slow boil. She keeps finding ways to bump into him, including hea...

We are back for another flashback episode - this time digging into the archives of our notes to remember what happened to our main characters in season two of Melrose Place. Which main character had the *worst* time of it in season two? Join us on this walk down memory lane as we work our way through this tournament of ten. The brackets: Alison v. Billy Jo v. Amanda Matt v. Jake Then for the final...

There is no apostrophe in this title and yes that is absolutely incorrect but we do not make the laws of America. And tbh, if we did, we wouldn't start with Melrose Place titles. So Burnin Love it is, even if the red squiggly line appears. Big news - Jane sets Alison's apartment on fire and fade to black while she watches it burn. Bigger news - it's been a long time since Jane was bori...

Well, here's what happened - we finished the Models, Inc. 'Cast, with sadness in our hearts, thinking we would never again enjoy the entertainment of this arm of the fictional Melrose Place / 90210 / Models, Inc. universe. Alas, building towards our final episodes of the entire podcast, probably still a few years out, we realized that we needed to identify which characters from Models, Inc. would...

How hard do you have to convince a police officer that he should "shoot to kill"? That's the high art Melrose Place tackled this week. The answer: not very hard. Especially if they're hunky but skittish park rangers. Also, Mary points out the traumatic experience Sam has dealing with Jane and Sydney this week, as she rolls up, shouts "toot toot, sorry I'm late!" and is suddenly ducking bullets. Ta...