Love Factually

In this special crossover episode of the APA Speaking of Psychology podcast, Paul and Eli chat with Kim Mills about the helpful and harmful lessons we absorb from romantic films.

How does it feel to lose a loved-one? Do we benefit from having a partner who speaks our love language? What's so sexy about creativity? Paul and Eli take a nostalgia trip back to Ghost (1990), the romance/murder mystery/revenge epic/moral fable/all-around sensation starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopi Goldberg. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwic...

How is romantic attachment similar to parent-child attachment? Can the fear of intimacy make someone controlling? What's the connection between relationships and food? Paul and Eli revisit Paul Thomas Anderson's majestic Phantom Thread (2017), the Best Picture nominee that served up one of cinema's most deliciously warped loved stories. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by...

Year one of Love Factually is in the books! Paul and Eli first review their favorite moments from the first year of the show, and then (at 42:20) they count down the Top Five most accurate movies they've covered to date.

What assumptions lurk behind the man-approaches-woman default? Why is double-dating a good idea? Does the military take grief seriously? Paul and Eli invite the former naval aviator Matt Rhodes to discuss Top Gun, the 1986 blockbuster featuring Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, and a sex scene unlike anything you've ever witnessed in a PG movie. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited...

Is society prejudiced against single people? How does culture control our sexual behavior? Do we need to find a partner who shares a hyper-specific similarity? Paul and Eli invite Yuthika Girme —one of the world's foremost experts in the science of both romantic relationships and singlehood—to discuss The Lobster (2015), Yorgos Lanthimos's deadpan, absurdist, and deeply unsettling romantic satire....

Are secret relationships especially alluring? How can we cultivate intimacy in a new relationship? What is the nature of heroism for men and women? Paul and Eli dive into Titanic – the 1997 epic that launched Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio to stardom – to learn whether hearts go on and on. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by ...

Do men chase women because they fear death? Do partners in love drive each other crazy? How do people navigate breakups? Paul and Eli gradually unravel as they discuss the mayhem in Moonstruck, featuring an Oscar-winning performance by Cher and an unhinged performance by Nicolas Cage. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by  Andrew F...

How does marriage vary across economic systems? Do partners exchange beauty for status? Why do perceptions of a potential partner change over time? Paul and Eli pay homage to the one-and-only Jane Austen by revisiting the 2005 film adaptation of Pride & Prejudice, starring Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli...

Are mismatched couples doomed? Why is it essential to calibrate our expectations? What happens when we seek closure on past relationships? Paul and Eli revisit High Fidelity—the seminal text that proclaimed "What really matters is what you like" —and find themselves on a semi-traumatic trip down memory lane. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Fin...

What happens when we treat dating like a business proposition? How important is height in determining a man's desirability? If love isn't "the math," then what is it? Paul and Eli race from Celine Song's Materialists to the recording booth, hoping to make sense of the modern dating landscape. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by ...

Is romantic love like an addiction? What is the nature of anti-gay prejudice? How do people come to understand their own sexual identity? Paul and Eli revisit "Brokeback Mountain" in preparation for its 20-year theatrical re-release , while marveling at some truly legendary performances. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by  Andre...

The first Love Factually Deep Dive! Grand romantic gestures pervade romance films. Are they effective? Are they sometimes unethical? Cornell professor Vanessa Bohns ( You Have More Influence Than You Think ) and bestselling author Dan Pink ( The Power of Regret ) join Paul and Eli for a freewheeling discussion that reaches some unexpected conclusions.

What are the risks of being a people pleaser? Why do weddings fall apart? Why is it so important to be authentic in relationships? Paul and Eli try on "27 Dresses" (and decode some Elton John lyrics) in pursuit of some insights. For show notes, click here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by  Andrew Fraker and Sons Artwork by  Katie Keil

What's special about sibling relationships? How do people with different attachment styles cope with stress? Why is it risky to get engaged to somebody you met that day? The megahit Frozen—starring the inimitable Kristen Bell and Idina Menzel—flips the traditional Disney script and offers some answers. This is a clean episode - suitable for all ages! For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced,...

The first Love Factually mailbag episode! Eli and Paul answer your questions about friends-first relationships, wedding stress, and memory erasure. Plus, we reopen the debate: When do relationships benefit from therapy, and why? See the graph of friends-first relationships

What happens when we view marriage in terms of winning and losing? How does divorce affect children? What are the consequences of taking a relationship for granted? Paul and Eli sift through the wreckage in Marriage Story, Noah Baumbach's lacerating, multiple-Oscar-nominated masterpiece starring Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul...

Can interactions with strangers fulfill our need to belong? Does ironic detachment mask attachment insecurity? Should we try to change ourselves into somebody else's ideal partner? Paul and Eli immerse themselves, again and again, in Groundhog Day, the timeless philosophical redemption tale starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Pau...

In this special crossover episode of the Dateable podcast , Paul and Eli chat with hosts Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu about how people should - and shouldn't - apply lessons from the movies to their dating lives.  

Is striving to avoid mistakes a good romantic strategy? Can couples who are mismatched on hotness get together? Does relationship success require that you be a desirable person? Paul and Eli dust off Hitch, the 2005 rom-com vehicle for Will Smith and Eva Mendes, in search of answers. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by  Andrew Fr...

How does it feel to confront hard relationship choices? How can we truly listen to one another? What counts as infidelity? Paul and Eli unpack Before Sunset—the sequel to Before Sunrise—which features Jesse (Ethan Hawke) and Céline (Julie Delpy) unexpectedly reunited in Paris, confronting the past and changing the future. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick...

How can people navigate the "friendzone"? Do men need romantic relationships more than women do? Does confusion about one's identity undermine relationships? Paul and Eli search for answers in the 2023 film Barbie, Greta Gerwig's feminist fantasia featuring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwick  and  Eli Finkel . Music by  Andr...

Why is it so important to be able to celebrate with someone? Is parenting sexy? What are the challenges of being in a relationship when you don't know who you are? Paul and Eli search for answers in the 1996 film Jerry Maguire, Cameron Crowe's endlessly quotable rom-com, featuring acclaimed performances from Renée Zellweger, Tom Cruise, and Cuba Gooding Jr. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, pr...

In this special crossover episode of The Happiness Lab podcast, Paul and Eli chat with Laurie Santos about lessons learned from fact-checking rom-coms. 

What are the benefits of optimism? How do people transfer attachments from parents to romantic partners? What exactly counts as stalking? Paul and Eli team up with Laurie Santos (Yale professor and host of The Happiness Lab podcast) to dive into the nice-guy manifesto Say Anything, starring (sigh) John Cusack and Ione Skye. For show notes, click  here . Hosted, produced, and edited by  Paul Eastwi...