Lotsa Pasta

What can I say about this next series with WhereAmi? That already hasn’t been said on some of his other episodes… We’re easily excitable. We over-exaggerate. We use hyperbole a bunch. We’re eager. We get into the hype. And that… honestly, promotes a set up for disappointment. And that disappointment usually comes in the form of #wasdemons. Yes, folks, we have another #wasdemons two part story with...

New season, new talent. What can I say? We gotta keep the train rolling and we gotta keep picking up passengers and sharing the load. Fucking fat load, you know what I’m saying. Fucking HUGE load for Lotsa Pasta, right? RIGHT. So who better to spread that load than a married couple. First married couple on the show? That’s cute. And you know one of them already, Midnight Bride was introduced with...

What better way to break up a massive sausage fest with a bunch of hunky boys than by calling in our favorite resident soul sucking temptress from the deep: Cannibal Siren. I know it probably only seems like a single episode between our last reading of STORIES TO READ ALONE AT NIGHT but I was excited after talking to Mark over at One-Page-Wonder(the author of all Stories to Read Alone at Night) an...

WELCOME TO THE THUNDER-DOME, FUCKERS. I mean, uh, scratch that, uh, welcome to the… square? Right, that’s what this is called? Yeah. The SQUARE. Not the cube, we didn’t have time for that. That’s too much. I’m lazy. We needed something that did less. Thus, the Square. If you’ve seen the cube, you get the gist. We wake up. We don’t know where we are. We’re in new clothes, our things taken from us,...

What an episode awaits us today, in this new year. The first of its kind, an interview of sorts, we welcome an AUTHOR to join us at the table of tomfuckery. MARK! AKA One Page Wonder AKA Stories to Read Alone at Night author joins us for a brief chat and story today, and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out. What a guy, to sit there and deal with Cannibal Siren and I as we both gush and cr...

Oh, cum all ye faithful. Cum right here and now, please. Come listen to this week’s Christmas episode. YES, another one of these. And I incorrectly thought it was our tenth - it’s actually our ninth, BIG DEAL. And guess who’s back for another Christmas episode? Tenron Otrin! Yes, for his second Christmas episode! Nice. Oh, and Frowns McBooHoo is here too, I guess. Nothing new and exciting there. T...

Aliens. What more do I need to say. They are a wonder to us humans, as there is no definable evidence out there that we are alone or otherwise. That’s why we, here on Lotsa Pasta, like to get stoned and talk about it - because there is no wrong answer. You can never be too calm or too crazy when talking about aliens. Got a personal experience, let’s hear it. Had a dream about being anally probed,...

It’s the last understatement for this part of the series folks, as we’ve reached our finale on what it means to live in the embodiment of spooky. The atmosphere: spooky. The residents: spooky. The elevator: spooky. The landlord: spooky. Me, I’m well spooked. Cannibal Siren is loving this shit, however, and even though I’m spooked, I am too. This is peak Reddit NoSleep, folks. I don’t think I’ve be...

Mark Rooster has climbed in out of the cold, and I’m trying to talk him into my bedroom like Baby, it’s cold outside. Just like the beautiful, fresh December air that joins Mark Rooster today, he also brings gifts: a veritable Krapmus here to spread the Christmas cheer, eh? For today’s episode is all in thanks to Mark Rooster’s beautiful mind. I’m not talking Russell Crowe, either, I’m talking Lin...

So many twists and turns in this serious, my head is about to spin around like that bitch from The Exorcist, minus the split pea soup. I’m enjoying myself, don’t get me wrong, but we’re losing good characters and putting other good characters in danger almost constantly. Things get a bit more challenging this episode because it looks like our Michael Caine impersonator Derek is missing and we fina...

The kingdom is crippling in debt and it’s all because of this no good inflation. Times they are a changing, Sofa King, and Bob Dylan ain’t the only one suckin and blowin to get by, apparently so is Sofa Prince; I hope to never meet him. As a good host to our good king, I -of course- offered him a sumptuous meal upon his arrival and today we have quite the menu of creepy cavettatappi. Sofa King is...

Part Two and things are getting super cereal. Serial? Yes, the stakes are up. Steaks? More people die and more people get eaten, that’s all I’m trying to say right now. Join Cannibal Siren and I for a quick re-cap and discussion of ideas as we get into what may be going on at the heart of this story. We get new time with new characters and we find out more about what’s going on all over the apartm...

It’s always fun introducing new people to Not Hot But Spicy, because you genuinely never know what you’re going to get. This is one of those things that I think makes our show special because no one probably knows this material exists and no one who wrote these stories on these forums like 15 years ago probably ever expected people to read or narrate their material on a podcast. But I think that’s...

My timing for things is usually ass but I put a lot of thought into when I wanted this series to start and end. One big piece of this goes to Cannibal Siren for literally being one of the best readers I’ve had on the show and for always helping me put shit together, no matter if it’s last minute or months in advance. Another piece of this is the hindsight of having scheduled out pretty much the en...

Let’s have a moment, you and I, here in the dark abyss of this old-ass shady-ass tunnel. A moment of respite to those who we’ve lost on our journey, with a healthy dose of tea; If you don’t mind my sentiment, or lack thereof. People often ask me when certain people are coming back and the truth is, I really don’t know. And worse even, the ones I DO know as the ones that are DEFINITELY NOT coming b...

Oh no, what’s that in the water? It’s hairy, it looks like a Dad, and it’s scared as hell. Holy shit. It’s Scutch MacGee, stepping out of the bog and onto our vessel with the utmost urgency. He’s here to join us on another legendary episode of Lotsa Pasta because we’re back to hail the king, baby. And I’m not talking Elvis. Another short story from an earlier collection of Stephen’s, this one hold...

This is the end, my friends. Her name is Lily Madwhip and we’re at the conclusion. It’s been quite an ADHD riddled adventure, hasn’t it? And we’ve seen young Lillian come so far. She’s faced death, and WASDEMONS, and she’s making friends along the way. I hope everyone enjoyed this series, as we surely did. I’m not saying too much purely out of trying to avoid spoilers, but this is both a satisfyin...

It’s always so much fun to record with friends across the country, specifically when you don’t know what you’re going to end up reading. This episode gets into some seriously triggering territory so this is your first and final warning. We do not vet these stories before we read them on the show, as evidenced by the MANY episodes before this one. All our reactions are live, all subject matter take...

It seems like we close each part of this story on a cliffhanger. Which makes it unusually addicting to listen to, in my opinion. Last episode ended very climax-y. In this third episode, we see a lot of action and a lot of payoff, and it’s not even the ending. We see Meredith finally play her Chekov’s Gun, we see some serious stakes, and we see some interesting powers. This is a fun story. WhereAmI...

It feels like it was just yesterday that Django and I started the Games with Ghoulies series. The idea was simple: Creepypasta has instruction based rituals as stories sometimes. What if we pretended to do them, what would the outcome be? Death, usually. Spooks, maybe. Comedy, undeniably. And with these games and rituals presented before us, sometimes we need that every-man perspective to ground u...

Lily is back at it again with her shenanigans and ADD/ADHD way of speaking. It’s funny, isn’t it? Two 30 year old dudes reading basically glorified fan-fiction of a little 12 year old girl. Yes, there are angels/demons and mind powers and shit around every corner but like, at it’s core, this is a family drama about a little girl. Funny. At least it’s funny to me. WhereAmI? Is probably more at home...

Deputy Dewey, what is that in your pants? Oh no, it’s AQUA-SLASH. Just kidding, we didn’t watch that garbage, instead we just summarized our thoughts with the help of Red Letter Media! Anywho, the relevance of dying in a water park is high and so is the tide. What is going on at Uncle Bob’s Wicked and Wild Waterpark, we ask. The answer? Well, let’s just say some of this shit belongs in some of Dep...

HEY GUYS, It’s me and WhereAmI? In a new series! This one is about a little girl who may be crazy, may be haunted, may be guarded by angels, or may be ‘was-demons.’ I DON’T KNOW YET - Or do I? Well, maybe I do. But you don’t, and that’s the point of listening. Are you not entertained? You should be! Because this kid totally has ADD or ADHD of some kind and this shit is a rollercoaster. ENJOY. My N...

It's been a while since we've visited the gas station. Tenron Otrin was eager to revisit our buddy Jack and see how he's keeping up. The gas station is always easy to jump back into because it's 'more of the same' with 'a little bit new' and it perfectly balances those two without ever changing too much. On today's episode, the NEW comes in the form of animals. Jack has talked about the creatures...

As we enter new territory on today’s episode of Lotsa Pasta, we pay our respects to the forefathers that came before us. Alvin Schwartz and the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Stephen King and his various works. And today. R.L. Stine and his Goosebumps. So much can be said about this man and this series, but instead, how about you listen to the episode for that part. No, this isn’t a deep dive...