Lit AF Relationships

In this episode, I talk about how to stop using control in romantic relationships. Two insecure attachment types have a high need for control and I break down why so you can understand where this pattern comes from. I also share what to do instead in order to get what you want from your partner. And I also share what to do if your partner can’t meet your need. It is possible to drop control and st...

Are you curious about what a healthy relationship looks like? Do you have an inkling that something in your relationship is off? This episode peels back the curtain to show you what a healthy and secure relationship looks like. I talk about what arguments look and feel like, how it feels to come home to your person, and the deep belief that comes from knowing you’re with the right person. Tune in...

If you’re not sure if your partner is the right person, this episode is for you. It’s going to help you understand how to make the decision to stay or leave. I share about common patterns that pop up when we make these types of decisions and how to move through them so you don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis. I finish the episode talking about how you figure out how to make a healthy relationshi...

Do you want more reassurance from your partner? Do you feel like they’re always trying to take space away from you or you’re not sure if they want to be in a relationship with you? This episode will help you understand how to get what you need from your partner without having to be someone different. This is not about getting rid of your need for reassurance but instead knowing how to get them on...

In this episode of Lit AF Relationships , Sarah Cohan breaks down the real reason your partner might not be sharing and the surprising thing you might be doing that makes it harder for them to open up. Through personal stories from her own marriage and powerful client examples, Sarah explains how certain patterns like criticism, emotional reactions, and “weaponized curiosity” can unintentionally s...

Do you feel like you can only rely on yourself or that it’s a sign of weakness to share your feelings? If so, this episode is for you. I share why the dismissive avoidant attachment style is brought up to think they need to be independent. I also share why the dismissive-avoidant is cut off from their emotions. If you’re in a relationship with a dismissive avoidant this will help you understand wh...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043 Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sara...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. So many couples tell me they don’t want to fight as much as they and that their fights never feel resolved, but here’s the truth: fighting is a bid for connection, we’re just going about it in a tense and uncomfortable way. In this episode, I share a real live example of why f...

On today’s episode, Mycah and Ian share how they both overcame their insecure anxious and avoidant attachment styles in order to create a happy and peaceful relationship. Mycah wanted to get engaged, married and start living together within a year. Ian was having doubts about commitment and had fears of making the wrong decision about marriage. She felt impatient about how their relationship was s...

I used to be that person. Raging jealousy. Constant suspicion. Side-eyeing my partner’s female friendships like it was my full-time job. Then I healed my attachment style… and everything changed. These days, jealousy barely shows up in my romantic relationship. But surprise, it still sneaks into friendships, work dynamics, and comparison spirals when I’m not paying attention. In this episode, we’r...

Your partner is going to believe things about you that just… aren’t true. And the moment you start worrying about hurting their feelings or believe even a tiny piece of their story, you’re hooked. Guilt kicks in. You over-explain. You bend. You twist. You try to prove something that was never yours to carry. In this episode, I share how being told “we always do what you want” sent me into years of...

Today’s guest shares how she overcame her fearful avoidant attachment style to make big life changes and end a longterm situationship. Jane used to struggle with saying no so she found herself in a soul-sucking job, in a city she didn’t want to live, with an on-again-off-again partner that wasn’t making her happy. She couldn’t say no to her boss, her friends, or her say the ultimate no to her rela...

Cheating sucks. It can cause alot of pain in your marriage and might feel impossible to overcome. If you’re going through it right now you’re probably stuck in a cycle of punishment and withdrawing or defensiveness. It is possible to overcome the real pain and hurt that you’re experiencing. And there is a specific process to help you speed up the healing. My hope is that this episode helps you und...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043 Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sara...

Today my guest is Mabel who worked with me to overcome her avoidant attachment style. Her goal was to clean up her relationship with her daughter. Her daughter is highly emotional and was prone to have full shutdowns when she got frustrated doing things like piano practice or homework. Mabel was triggered by her daughters emotions and was either yelling or taking space to avoid them as much as pos...

If there is one skill that transforms relationships from shaky to secure, it is validation. And yes, it is hard AF. In this episode, we’re diving into why this deceptively simple tool is the very first thing I teach couples and why it matters so much for creating secure attachment. Validation is tough because when your partner brings you something painful or messy, your body wants to react. Your b...

Are you “chill,” “go with the flow,” or “totally fine with whatever”? Spoiler alert… that might actually be people-pleasing in disguise. And people-pleasing is basically lying about what you really want. In this episode, we dig into why going with the flow usually means “I’m too scared to say what I need,” how it creates resentment in relationships, and why your partner actually can’t support you...

Avoidants often need space because conflict never felt safe growing up. They want peace, so when tough conversations come up, they shut down and exit fast. If you are the one opening up, it can feel like abandonment. They take space without explaining it and often skip the repair. This pattern can change. It starts with owning your emotions, understanding your needs for space and autonomy, and upl...

If you catch yourself people-pleasing, this episode is for you. We’ll explore why you over-give, go with the flow, or downplay your needs, and how it’s quietly draining your energy and creating distance in your relationship. When you’re always focused on keeping the peace, you lose touch with what you actually want and need. In this episode, I’ll walk you through how to own your emotions so you’re...

Ever had an argument spin out of control before you even knew what happened? In this episode, we’re talking about how to stop a fight dead in its tracks — with validation. Yep, the one thing that sounds simple but feels impossible when emotions are high. You’ll learn why validation isn’t about agreeing, being weak, or giving in, and how offering it can actually calm your nervous system and build r...

Ever catch yourself simmering in quiet resentment toward your partner? You’re not alone. In this week’s episode, we’re diving into what resentment really is (spoiler: it’s just anger with a side of overgiving). We’ll unpack why we do it, usually to prove we’re “enough”, and how it drains our time, energy, and connection. You’ll learn how to own your emotions, fill your own cup daily, and upgrade y...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect.  If you avoid conflict like it’s the plague, this episode is for you. We’re talking about what it really means to be conflict avoidant, how defensiveness, minimizing, or deflecting can sneak in when you’re scared to show up honestly. This pattern is common for the dismiss...

Ever wondered why your anxious self keeps falling for that avoidant hottie? Or why you suddenly lose interest once someone actually likes you back? In this week’s episode, I’m diving into all your juicy relationship questions. We’ll break down how to figure out your attachment style, what “earned secure” actually means, and how to stop taking every little thing your partner does (or doesn’t do) so...

Ever cracked a joke or shared something with your partner, only to suddenly find yourself in a full-blown fight? 😳 One second you’re laughing, the next it’s accusations, defensiveness, and tension. In this episode, I’ll share a real client example of how quickly things can go sideways what to do instead of trying to control your partner’s reaction. We’ll talk about why defensiveness shuts down co...

Perfectionism might look like striving for A+++ work, but in relationships it often leads to burnout, resentment, and never feeling enough. In this episode of Lit AF Relationships, I share how perfectionism shows up in love, why it keeps you stuck in people-pleasing, and the surprisingly freeing power of embracing B-minus work. Get ready to laugh, reflect, and learn how to let go of impossible sta...