Life and Love in La Ville

Gavin didn’t want to come. He was the one who had bought the tickets, so it surprised me. This was very early on and I hadn’t quite absorbed yet the extent of his people-aversion. You would have thought my kink Master would be into an entire kinky weekend, but (are you beginning to see the pattern?) he preferred to stay at home and watch television. So I went by myself, in pig tails and a skirt; l...

August 17th 2024 I’m pretty sure I know where my digestion problems are coming from. And, come to think of it, my respiratory issues. Who knows, maybe even the inflammatory response to that wasp bite would be… Image credit: Yours truly

August 6th, 2024: I texted Mommy this morning. I was in bed, waiting for my phone to tell me what was going to happen with the day. Yves had already said good morning. I hadn’t yet said anything back. What happened…

June 21st, 2024:  ...But I kept my cool! And my calm, and my collection! And I even avoided weed for two of those days, which may not seem like such an accomplishment, but believe me, it is. I have a bruise in my inner…

I walked to Mizan, though, and I replenished my supply of basmati rice (a year and a half, the last bag lasted me!) This felt like an accomplishment, especially when I managed to acquire wine on the…

Of course it does. This was never a Jasmine-scented stink bomb, and it was never Gale’s true fight to begin with. How naive could I be? Well, I’m still learning the depths to which people will stoop. I am still constantly surprised, every goddamn time. No, this was not a stink bomb. This was a Jasmine-scented DICK bomb .

“Have you spoken with your sister?” my mom said, only she sounded less curious and more accusatory. “You sound accusatory!” I said, proud of how even-keeled I was presenting. My mom sighed. “You’re going to have to talk to her eventually, you know.” “Mama,” I said, and now I could feel the blood rising, “Please don’t blame me for the fact that Mindy and I are on the outs. She is a narcissist who a...

Hello to my dear sister, Thank you for this note! I am back now from my sunshiny travels, as you called them, which did mostly treat me well, except for one particular narcissist who managed to be quite terrible. Oh well. We live and learn, and the good news is that when vacation is hard, regular life feels almost manageable!

On my wall is a quote that I have kept with me for…oh I’m not sure how long, but maybe over two decades. It reads: Woe to him who teaches men faster than they can learn. Google credits that to Will Durant. Woe to me, man. Fucking woe. To. Me.

January 16th, 2024: Her voice was almost gone by now. These assholes, so insecure, so dumb, they dont even see the disaster they leave in their wake. All of us here shaken, activated, triggered. Good thing we are artists. We will make MOTHER FUCKING ART.

Holy shit, that’s it. I’ve checked my email for the last time, the last-last time, and the last last-last time. And a few more after that. My assistant is going to handle everything else while I’m gone. Thank god for her, seriously. I’ve left her a million notes, and I know she will read them carefully and only reach out if she absolutely has to. I told her not to let our developer boss her around...

“I’m so tired of it,” I wailed on the phone to Mommy. “I don’t WANT to be in charge anymore! I want a 9–5 job where somebody ELSE tells me what to do!” Mommy laughed and said, “I kind of doubt you really want that, kitten.” “I DO!” I argued emphatically. “I want a 9–5 job where somebody else tells me what to do. THAT way, instead of getting annoyed at having to be in charge, I can be mad at them f...

Saturday, November 10th, 2023: Today I visited the Customs building in downtown Montreal. An enormous entryway occupied the first wall. Glass-paned counters ringed the other three walls, forming a semi-circle with a wide open space in the middle. The ceiling arched up high above. The room seemed to remember a grander time. Image credit: Yours truly 

Dear one, I have about 5 of those chocolate eggs you loved, still left over in my fridge from post-Easter chocolate sales. I feel guilty every time I eat one…I’m dragging it out as long as possible just in case I can get one to you before they all run out. Image credit: Yours truly

Hello to my beautiful, crazy intelligent, super wonderful eldest niece, I MISS YOU! How the heck are you? I miss you more than the stars and the moon. My happiness palace pines for your presence. When are you going to come back and visit me????? Image credit: Yours truly

“Papa…what is your goal weight, exactly?” I asked on speakerphone. “My goal…is to reduce down to a singularity and disappear,” he said. This did not reassure me. He continued, “I can understand why some people become anorexic.” He already is anorexic. “Papa, you need to pick a lower limit. And also read a book on nutrition,” I added bravely. He seemed to be a in a good enough mood not to say somet...

November 9th, 2023:  I would like to start by saying that my heart goes out to you for how you felt that whole weekend. It was never my intention to hurt you and it pains me that you were hurt. I am also sorry that the… Image credit: Yours truly

Mommy looks a tiny bit like a ghost. I don’t think the Oracle Tree was very nice to her. Not one bit!!! I told her and Matt that we’re going to follow Baby Girl Rules and that will mean NO LEAVING and NEVER EVER GOING again. I also told them they were very rude for going to all the hospitimals. Image credit: Yours truly

The first time, it went to voicemail. But I persisted and Joseph picked up the second time. “Joseph speaking,” he said all professionally, as if he didn’t know who was calling, which, he didn’t. “Gah gah,” I said. My brother did not sound resoundingly thrilled to have heard from me! Photo credit: Yours truly

Thursday, September 14th, 2023: ...All that said, I would absolutely love to be there for you and your feelings. BUT NOT if it feels the way that last weekend felt like for me: like a passive aggressive blame game. It sucked and it made an already difficult week much harder.  Image credit: Yours truly

August 23rd, 2023: I feel sorry for the hijabi girls in the heat waves. Although their faces never betray them, so, maybe they’re somehow immune? Doubtful. It’s fucking hot even when you’re dressed slutty like me. Image credit: Yours truly

July 16th, 2023: “Why? You don’t like babies?!” asked Willow, sensing resistance to The Narrative that has been washed into her brain. “I love babies,” I said slowly, weighing my words with far too much care. “But I also know that usually there’s more than one way a person can feel about a situation. Babies are wonderful but they are not easy, and it would make sense to feel mixed emotions about a...

 July 1st, 2023: I figured I’d give a local store some of my business instead of always going to the dollar store. I felt very virtuous…until I reached the counter, where there was a tip jar. Which I ignored, except on the credit card machine… it also asked if you wanted to tip. Who tips people at boutiques?! Is this a new thing??? Image Credit: Yours Truly

Sunday, June 25th, 2023: It was freakily apocalyptically hazily reddishly smogged today in Montreal. An alien spaceship could have descended at Place des Arts and it would have blended right in. The winds must have shifted. Image by Peter Hoogmoed on Unsplash

June 24th, 2023: The problem is, I realized later, I didn’t tell him that. I didn’t say “ Please hold me, because I’m hurting.” Instead, I tried to argue unemotional facts. But we don’t have all the facts, and he’s friends with these people too. Image Credit: Yours Truly