Intimate Judaism

"Forced marriage" and coercive sex are terms that most believe have no relevance to Judaism. Nevertheless, in communities where marriages are typically arranged by parents and matchmakers, does the couple truly have the freedom to reject the match? And even in modern Orthodox circles, do young men and women sometimes feel pressured to marry when they aren't sure about the partner, aren't ready for...

In Episode #30 of Intimate Judaism, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn answer practical sex questions from listeners. Among the subjects covered are: Can a couple experience sexual pleasure when intercourse is medically inadvisable? Why must couples get the first time "over with" on the wedding night? (Or must they?) Is it permissible to masturbate when your wife is a Niddah? May women fantasize...

Sexual intimacy provides the opportunity to express love with connection, pleasure, and satisfaction. Yet, for people who have experienced sexual assault, sexual violence, and abuse, intimacy can feel very unsafe. Being on guard, and sometimes checking out and dissociating, is what has allowed abuse victims to survive, and the idea of "relinquishing control and getting lost in the moment" can be t...

Orthodox girls and women are traditionally taught to dress modestly in order to avoid attracting the male gaze and to keep men from sinful thoughts or behaviors. These messages, according to Rabbanit Oriya Mevorach, an educator and doctoral student of Gender and Philosophy, objectify and sexualize women and girls, and are actually influenced by Western society's sexuality discourse. Moreover, the...

Harav Binyamin Lau, community leader, author, teacher, and former Rabbi of the Ramban Synagogue in Jerusalem, recently introduced a document providing guidance for members of the religious LGBTQ community and their families. This document is a collection of recommendations that, according to Rav Benny, "Do not permit prohibitions or prohibit things that are permitted," but seek to pave the way to...

Tantric sex originates from ancient Hinduism and revolves around sexual practices that focus on creating a deep, intimate connection. It is a meditative sexual practice that encourages people to focus on the connections between the mind, the body, and the soul. It is intended to lead to fulfilling sexual experiences and greater intimacy. Taoism is a system of traditional beliefs from China. Taoist...

Intimacy and sexual experiences are so closely connected with a person's sense of identity, and so seldom discussed in many religious communities, that they often are the source of tremendous feelings of guilt. When are these feelings misplaced and when do they serve a constructive purpose? How should a religious individual manage his experience of guilt? Is there a way to reframe the experience o...

The Netflix series "Unorthodox" inspired two Intimate Judaism ZOOM panels on female and male sexuality respectively. But many listeners had further questions about sexual functioning in men -particularly with regard to "performance anxiety" - and asked us to discuss the topic in more detail. Join Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn in this bonus episode, as they discuss the factors that can contr...

Men are sexually assertive, they constantly think about and want sex, and their masculinity is determined by the frequency of their sexual conquests and their performance. This stereotype is perpetuated by the media in Western culture. Jewish sources, on the other hand, acknowledge the power of the male sexual drive, but require men to direct this drive exclusively towards marital relations. The e...

Intimate Judaism's recent ZOOM live panel ( https://www.intimatejudaism.com/unorthodox-intimacy-and-authenticity-how-accurate-is-the-netflix-series-portrayal-of-chasidic-intimacy-episode-21/ ) aroused a great deal of interest and discussion. Many of our listeners wrote in describing their experiences, and in this bonus episode, Brooklyn trauma therapist Chaya Feuerman relates how the messages she...

The Netflix series "Unorthodox" portrays the journey of Esty, a young Satmar Chasidic woman who ultimately leaves her marriage and her community to live a secular life in Berlin. Her marital life with her husband, Yanky, and in particular, their dysfunctional sexual relationship, is fraught with conflict and unhealthy intervention of others. Moreover, Esty is seen as having little autonomy over he...

The Coronavirus has affected how we live, how we work, how we congregate and how we experience touch and intimacy. The world at large has had to renegotiate the common norms of social intimacy with distancing measures that are increasing daily. Meanwhile, couples are faced with a new reality: confinement at home, the need to keep children occupied and help them cope with stress and uncertainty, as...

Our sources teach us that lusting after our hearts is prohibited. Yet sexual curiosity, fantasy, and thinking about sex are part of the normative developmental process. Therefore, how do we determine how much is too much and what thoughts and behaviors are problematic? Is what may be "bad for your neshama" like viewing porn, necessarily bad for your mental health, and might the battle to guard one...

"Sex is not something you 'have' but rather an expression of an intimate and erotic energy that a couple mutually shares." This quote, from the recently released book, I Am For My Beloved: A Guide to Enhanced Intimacy for Married Couples by co-authors Talli Rosenbaum and David Ribner, reflects the theme that a passionate marriage is about cultivating a loving, emotionally intimate relationship. In...

Is sexual pleasure considered an important value in Judaism? What place does sex for pleasure have in a healthy marriage? Join Talli and Scott for a frank and open discussion about these and many other questions.

Is sexual pleasure considered an important value in Judaism? What place does sex for pleasure have in a healthy marriage? Join Talli and Scott for a frank and open discussion about these and many other questions.

During the month of Tishri, we engage in a process of Tshuva; self-reflection and repentance. Through prayer, we repair our relationships and connect with God, with ourselves, and with those we may have hurt. In this mini episode, join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum as they discuss how the basic elements of the tshuva process can serve as a model for healing and repairing our relationships w...

"It's not good for man to be alone." Living a traditional Jewish life implies marriage and raising a family. Sexual intimacy is highly valued, but only within the framework of a marital bond. However, whether due to the "shidduch crisis," rising divorce rates, or other circumstances, our communities include many individuals who haven't married, or are widowed or divorced. What are the experiences...

What happens when couples disagree over religious observance? When one spouse decides that he or she no longer wants to be observant? Is there a way to reach an understanding? Join Talli and Scott as we discuss these issues on the season finale of Intimate Judaism!

Sexual exclusivity is a core value of Jewish marriage. Extramarital sexual contact – infidelity – represents not only a breach of Jewish law, but also a rupture of the couple's loyalty and trust. While sexual intercourse with another person is almost universally considered adultrous behavior, how do couples define what they consider to be a betrayal? Is texting, having lunch with a member of the o...

Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn address your questions in this special Q&A episode of Intimate Judaism. Among the issues they deal with are homosexuality and Orthodoxy, Halacha's attitude toward sterilization via tubal ligation or vasectomy, whether we should encourage our children to talk to kids of the opposite gender, and more.

Many people are taught that following Taharat HaMishpacha - the laws of family purity - keeps a marriage fresh, and adds passion to a couple's sexual relationship. Often, this is true, but many times, it's not. Some couples find that Taharat HaMishpacha adds a tremendous strain to their relationship. Are there solutions within Halacha? What should a couple in this situation do? Talli Rosenbaum and...

Are sexual relations in Jewish marriage mandatory? Can either partner demand sexual relations at any time? How do we reconcile that concept with the understanding that autonomy and mutual consent are core values of sexual and marital health? Stay tuned for this episode of Intimate Judaism when Talli Y. Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn discuss the sources.

Judaism's view of sex within marriage- is it really ruled by do's and dont's or does anything go? What do the sources actually say? Join Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn for a frank and enlightening discussion. You may be surprised at what you will learn.