I'm About to Say More, with Carla Hansen

Let's take stab at addressing another cognitive distortion. This time we talk about magnification and minimization. Magnification exaggerates the importance of our problems or shortcomings. Minimization lessens the importance of our desirable qualities or the consequences of our actions. Both lead us into increased anxiety or depression. Negative self talk can increase and we lose the ability...

Today we get to delve deeper into how we each create our realities that we live in. We call this, unsurprisingly, The Creation of Reality! By looking at four parts of our creation, data, thoughts, emotions, and behavior, we can begin to learn what is underneath our reactions and behaviors when we are in relationship with others, and also when we're in relationship with ourselves. This process...

What is the difference between Caregiving and Caretaking? It might sounds simple, or might even seem as if they are the same things. Caregiving is doing something for someone who is unable to do something for themselves. Caretaking is doing someone for someone who could and should do it for themselves. (Yes, I used the word should. It just fits in this situation.) When we allow ourselves to step b...

Welcome to this week’s short snippet focused oncognitive distortions, particularly the pervasive use of "should"statements. Join the discussion as we unpack how these words can shape our expectations and emotions. As we navigate our daily lives, being mindful of ourlanguage can significantly impact our mental well-being. By reframing "should" statements, we open the door to self-compassion and und...

Today's discussion relates to the Dichotomous thinking, right or wrong, black or white, good or bad, and how it impacts our faith. Faith by definition is not certainty and yet we may try to make faith an all or nothing scenario. We discuss how certainty creates safety and also may push away space for questions, for nuance. It might lead to judgment of others when they make other choices that g...

Black and white, all or nothing, good or bad, right or wrong, these may be references you understand better than the term dichotomous thinking. Dichotomy is defined as a division into two mutually exclusive, opposed, or contradictory groups, so you can see how those initial descriptions apply. This type of thinking can get in the way of healthy relationships, and certainly can create a lot of nega...

Trauma! What does that word even mean? Are we talking about big T trauma, little t trauma? Is it overused? So many questions. Pia Mellody defined trauma as "Anything less than nurturing" which we continue to use at The Meadows and then take the time to learn what that means for each individual and the impact it is having on us as adults. With trauma defined, it will be easier for us to u...

Emotions - We all have them and from what I've experienced many don't know what to do with them. Today I will explore emotions by identifying 8 Basic Emotions. There are way more that 8. And by working with 8 emotions, it becomes easier to identify what emotions may be present for us. I will also discuss how we often engage with emotions and also what the gifts of emotions are, even the un...

Every so often I will create some Short Snippets. This is achance to talk about topics that don’t need a full episode and are also really helpful to understand. Our understanding of ourselves is comprised of so many elements that are interesting to explore. These short snippets will be one ofthose stops along the way to deeper understanding that can lead to meaningful change. Today we get to talk...

We're finally at the 5th Core Issue, Moderation and Containment. We get to look at being out of control and the opposite, being highly controlled. Both are created in order to find safety of some sort and when in the extremes can create a lot of issues with our relationships. There's a lot more to talk about with this topic, and more will come.

Being codependent is often defined as someone needing other too much. While that is a factor, it's not the whole story. Today I talk about dependency as being able or unable to ask for our needs appropriately, either by being too dependence or being anti dependent. Neither are helpful in relationships with others or with ourselves. So let's talk about.

We're now on to Core Issue 3. Are you enjoying the ride yet? This episode gets to the creating of our own reality. When we haven't really been able to create a reality that is true to ourselves, we will create the one that is given to us. To be honest, it's really tough for any parent to help a child create their own reality. And as kids we are willing to live in the reality that will keep us clos...

Core Issue 2 Is about Vulnerability, and the way to protect and live vulnerably is to create strong boundaries. If we were not raised with boundaries, it's hard to understand how to create functional boundaries on our own. This discussion outlines how our boundaries are set up. There will be more talk about boundaries to come.

We are starting our quest to introduce the 5 Core Issues that I will be referring to throughout our discussions. It's basic information that is easy on the surface and pretty deep as it gets applied to ourselves. Esteem Issues get set up throughout our childhood and then create a lense through which we then see ourselves and others. I wish I could be sitting down with you and having a discussi...

It may sound a little dry, and it has to be done, so don't give up before we even get started. And it's good stuff! Today is a quick rundown of the Overview of Developmental Immaturity. We'll get into the details soon, so don't fret. My Instagram page will have a visual of what I'm presenting. I'm glad we're getting it rolling.

Introducing my new podcast, Say More. This is a podcast about life, relationships, spirituality, and mental health. Mostly about mental health though! Becoming more emotionally healthy adds to our connection to our spirituality and ability to connect with others.