I Failed...

Uncover the silent emotional armor you've been wearing, hidden trauma, unresolved pain, and the dangerous cycle of emotional hoarding. The host and writer, Shay Ruff, reveals how avoiding emotions for decades keeps us trapped, disconnected, and in 'survival mode.'

No filter needed. WE ARE BACK! Can you believe that it's been three years since we last spoke?! The "I Failed..." Podcast is back with a twist! Since 2020, I have been writing this book about my personal journey of emotional hoarding , and now it is a best-selling book. But aside from that celebration, I want to share my story with you so that you can See where I've been How I&#3...

Whew!! It was on my heart to do this impromptu podcast about my personal burnout. Usually, when we experience something, someone else may have a similar experience.  So this one is for all of my people who are feeling burned out and experiencing self-awareness.  Thank you for listening!

If you've ever been in a dating relationship and/or marriage that ended, you've had a reflection moment afterward.  You're trying to figure out what went wrong. Was it you? Was it them? How could have things been redirected away from a breakup? Most of us never realize that our upbringing usually plays a part in how we date.  Today's guests, Rickey and Shalonda Schoonmaker share their mo...

Is it okay to "just in case" your marriage if things don't work out? Should you have a person of interest on standby should your marriage go left?    While some of us think that this is crazy, it's very real for a lot of people. The "backup plan" has some people in divorce court or annulment highway. Ty and Tera share their wisdom about the matter.     Origins: The Virgin...

Commitment can be a forbidden word to some, while others crawl under their beds to hide from the challenge. But do we make commitment harder than it is?  Today's guests, Joshua & Tasha Ikegulu, share how they are consciously working through commitment.     Origins: Nigeria and New Orleans, Louisiana  Expertise: Oil Industry and Psychology

Keep the connections. Long Distance Friendships can be hard but they are rewarding when everyone can work together.

Even in your waiting, make sure that you date yourself ALWAYS!

In case you're Single and tired, DON'T GIVE UP.  Rhuneisha speaks about her experience and why it's important to keep going. 

When we think of friendships, we think of those who have been closest to us for a long time. We think of those that we can confide in, laugh, cry with, and share life with. BUT! We never consider being a friend to ourselves. In order to be a friend, you have to show yourself friendly even to thine own self.  Today's guest, Dr. Heather James, shares the importance of befriending yourself and t...

Your sound decision to move away from the place and people that you've every known can be rewarding and heartbreaking all at once.  While others are celebrating your bravery to move on, others are devastated and feeling betrayed. But for the friends who are cheering for you, you find a way to stay connected. Sometimes it's hard, but you're intentional about nourishing those friendships. ...

The dating world has changed drastically and some are giving up on the idea of ever walking down the aisle.   But some are holding onto their faith no matter how grim the dating world can be.    Frank and Rhuneisha share their personal journeys of singleness, waiting, and meeting each other.    Origin: Harlem, NY and Ocala, Florida   Expertise: Photography and Tr...

Ahhh. The Workplace.  A place where most of us spend most of our time. And during that time, we eventually become closer to those that we work with because they're the ones who see us the most.   But is friendship always a good thing in the workplace? Or should you just keep it professional?   Natasha shares her wisdom about Friendship in the Workplace.    Origin...

Have you thought about being married? If so, what makes you hopeful about it? And how bad do you want to be married?  The thought of marriage can make us all re-evaluate our "why."  Today's guests, Tyrone and Samantha, share their journey to marriage and why it can work.    Origin: Miami, Florida  Expertise: Insurance and Social Media Management  Social Media: @sam_so...

Church... the place where a lot of us learn about God and how to live. But what happens when friendship expands beyond fellowship in the sanctuary?   While many are leaving churches because of church hurt, some are leaving because of torn friendships.   Today's guest, Leah Huggins, shares her friendship and church journey with us.    Origin: Charleston, South Carolina...

The world of marriage has evolved from women being "just" homemakers.  More and more married couples are understanding how important it is to be a team and not a "one-man" show.  PJ & Taylor share their thoughts about Marriage and Gender Roles.

Friendships tend to evolve as much as we do. However, sometimes, it doesn't work out that way. So what do you do when you're growing but your friendship isn't? Do you move on or try to find a resolution? Do you believe that friendships are taken for granted?

We all have pre-conceived thoughts about what marriage is to us. And while it's not a bad thing, sometimes explaining your point of view can be complicated.  You gotta make sure that you and your partner can agree on what marriage looks like to you as a union.  Today's guest, Paul and Taylor Howard, shares their thoughts and experiences before marriage. Guest's Origin: Oakland, Californi...

Friendships tend to evolve as much as we do. However, sometimes, it doesn't work out that way. So what do you do when you're growing but your friendship isn't? Do you move on or try to find a resolution?    Today's guest, Starlis (Star) Blaise, shares her moments of outgrowing friendships.    Guest's Origin: Decatur, Georgia  Expertise: Multi-preneur   Social Media: @...

I FAILED PODCAST FAMILY!!!!! I am so excited to be back with you all!! I am astounded by your continuous support for this podcast even though we took a break.  A lot has happened but nevertheless, we are here!!! We've gotten your questions, comments, concerns, and love with much appreciation.  If you aren't following us on Facebook and Instagram, please do so @wisdom_by_30 and @ifailedpo...

Insure this! Insure that! You need coverage!  When we buy a home, a car, or rent an apartment, we are told to get them insured. And out of habit, we do so not really understanding the "why" and what we are covering. Today, we are breaking it all the way down.  Today's guest shares her wisdom and personal experience when it comes to property insurance.  West Coast girl with sweet, So...

It's all about SKIN today!  Like you, I have struggled and failed in this area.  "Buy this product!"  "Buy that product!"  "This one works better!" Here's the truth, I didn't understand what type of skin I had nor did I research the ingredients in the products that I was buying.  Today's guest is sharing her skincare journey and how it became a full-time career.  Hous...

Today, we are discussing Human Rights with Mr. Gerald Rose.  This is a special conversation that discusses sensitive current events and brings awareness to the importance of human rights. Unfortunately, America is separated by race, ethnicity, religion, gender, when it's called the "United" States.  Mr. Gerald Rose, a Human Rights Advocate and Leader, speaks about how he and his organiza...

While the present can have its own turn of events, the future is coming day by day.  Some of us are good at planning, while others take it day-to-day, but are you ready for retirement? Have you thought about it? What's your plan? As much as you love your job, do you plan on staying? Today's guest educates us on how important retirement planning is and when to start.  Filled with Southern...

Life Insurance! What's it all about?! Why do we need it? Who is it for?  One thing that is for sure is that we all are going to leave Earth and transcend to another dimension.  Life Insurance, in the midst of grief, is a way to take care of your loved ones in your physical absence.  Life Insurance isn't just for the rich... it's for everyone! Today's guest educates us on the importa...