Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

055   If there's a sense of lack-of-luster in your relationship, or you find yourself feeling disinterest, irritation, or disconnection with your husband, or you wonder if your marriage will ever feel good, alive, and totally loving again, it is not necessarily because there is a huge problem between you. It is more likely because of some very harmless-seeming little things you might not even...

Our Love Is Fragile Syndrome is a silent “ syndrome” ( not a scientific term!) that lurks invisibly in the background of so many relationships and causes a lot of pain and disconnection --where there could instead be lots of love. If you tend to find yourself wondering if your love can last, or if your partner really loves you, if you tend to read a lack of love into your husband's actions, o...

053  As much as most of us would love to feel tons of love for the person we’ve chosen as our partner in life, it’s not always so easy to do. In fact, feeling loving feelings can seem very far off sometimes in our marriages. In this episode, we talk about one of the biggest reasons you may feel disappointed and frustrated about a variety of things your partner does (or does not do): a trick our br...

052   Often , for highly sensitive people,  trauma is or has been a part of our lives, and can have a negative impact on our relationships.  But trauma and autonomic nervous systems responses to stressful events do not have to dictate our lives and keep us locked into painful reactions and patterns, as, Karen C.L. Anderson (a master-certified life coach and author who helps women use the troubled...

051  Knowing how and when to set a “Relationship Boundary” is an essential part of blazing the trail to a more respectful, loving, high-integrity marriage for both you and your husband. Setting appropriate boundaries are, 1st, a way to take loving care and be respectful of yourself and the relationship, and 2nd, they teach your significant other to understand what’s okay by you and what isn’t, hel...

#050  We modern women expect more out of marriage and men than ever. We tend to want our husbands to be a more mature, evolved, supportive partner with whom we can regularly connect intimately on a deep physical and emotional level.  But, in many cases, our men don’t seem to be able to rise up and meet us in that place as much as we want.  Today, we dive in and look at why— and what you can do abo...

If you feel resentment or annoyance often, if you feel burdened by all that you have do for your marriage, or if you feel you get walked all over,  it’s quite possible you aren’t saying “NO” enough to your husband.  But the trouble is, you may also feel guilty or uncomfortable: saying no not doing what he wants you to do or doing what you prefer over what he prefers.  What if you could say no and...

048   Sometimes we find ourselves in a dynamic we do not like with our partner: we may feel disrespected, looked down upon, controlled. This may be even more common for us HSPs than non-sensitives. Is there hope to change this dynamic? Can you ever feel like your partner respects you, values your opinion, and sees you as an equal?  Can you stop him from controlling you? Yes, you can. Without contr...

As modern women, we’ve been encouraged to not let ourselves be “doormats” in our relationship with men.  And we want to be strong, to not tolerate criticism or unkind treatment, and to stand up for the respect we deserve.  All of which is so important to have a healthy loving marriage, especially as a sensitive person. But sometimes we do this in a way that actually makes us feel even more walked...

The fact of the matter is there’s a lack of empathy, understanding, attentiveness, care and compassion--in other words, SENSITIVITY!-- in our world and intimate relationships.  And so many women right now are hungry for more of this sensitivity in their marriages. I want this for them deeply, too. It's high time to usher into our marriages, and ultimately into our world, the love and sensitiv...

We live in a world where so much focus and energy is directed into our career or work and being productive. This doesn't work well for highly sensitive people, nor does it support having a great marriage or an overall fulfilling life.  It does not have to be this way. If we want a life we actually enjoy living, we HSPs need to make the shift from life supporting our WORK to work being in serv...

044 If you've ever felt unhappy in your marriage, if you ever look back on the early days or your relationship --or even your single days-- with a longing for those happier times, or if you ever feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself in this marriage, this episode is for you. Where does our happiness really come from in our marriages? Whose job is it to bring pleasure and enjoyment to you?...

043  As Highly Sensitive People, traveling or even day adventures can pose some extra challenges, (i.e, be hard )--especially when traveling with a non-HSP partner. But, seeing new places, visiting loved ones, and having a change of scenery are not only things many of us would like to do, but things that actually benefit u s and our marriage if navigated in a way that honors our sensitivity. So ho...

042  You've asked him to be more romantic. He isn't doing it. Now what? There’s not a whole lot more frustrating in a relationship than asking your partner for something (especially something vulnerable like more romance) and have him not agree --or agree and then not follow through!! It can leave you feeling helpless to get your desires for intimacy and connection met. It can even be a...

Reactivity, tension, and emotional and physical pain can be so normal in our busy day-to-day lives. Yet they totally undermine our ability to enjoy our lives, connect with our loved ones in the deeper ways we want, and reach our goals. So how do we move back to a calmer, clearer, and more connected place (and stay there more often) -- without taking hours out of our days, or making a giant overhau...

040  Falling in love is easy, effortless. Staying in love isn’t. Today we talk about staying in love (or falling back in love), and how it's about being intentional in the tiniest moments. You don’t have to wait to learn something fancy, or to have a giant change of heart to feel better with your partner. You can make an instant little shift right now that will move you in a more loving, more...

039  The biggest barriers to love come from within our own brains. Today we are talking about a very common one: The wired-in instinct to want to be right. To see ourselves and our way as right, and others ways as wrong.  Why is this being right thing so tenacious and tempting? Listen in to find out and start to let it go... Because, though totally normal, this instinct is counterproductive to cre...

  Sex and physical intimacy. They are the prime things that distinguish marriage from a roommate situation. But, many women, especially us highly sensitive women, often find that we just don't’ feel like being sexual with our partner at the end of a long day--or ever! If that’s a common experience for you, and you feel like it’s putting a damper on the connection and fulfillment you or your h...

As a human being, especially a highly sensitive person, you’re going to have lots of feelings, many of which will be “negative” ones. Especially when it comes to the things we care most about, such as our marriages and relationships. Does this mean you have to suffer through them, grin and bear it, or resign yourself to having an unhappy life and relationship? Of course not. You can, of course, th...

As highly sensitive people, we feel deeply. So when something happens with our partner that we don’t like, and negative emotions are stirred up, it can lead to reacting strongly. . .  . . .often in ways that lead to more strife and conflict (think: withdrawing, running out of the room, snapping, criticizing, yelling, crying, ranting, going on and on trying to figure things out and feeling unable t...

035  We all have a biological imperative to feel worthy, to feel good enough. This need drives us in all aspects of our life. It is part of what pulls us towards love.  But it is also in love that our sense of not being quite good enough, not being worthy, is most highlighted.  Having a strong sense of self-worth is a big part of having a marriage that feels like the safest most loving zone possib...

034   What if you consistently felt like you were important, cared for, valued and like you deeply matter to your partner, and to all the people you care about? Like, all the time...no matter what happened? How would that change your marriage….your life? In a nutshell, it would free you up to have so much more fun, lightness, connection, love, and passion in your marriage, and simple enjoyment of...

033 Love flourishes when we feel safe. A sense of emotional safety is foundational to having a great - or even decent-- marriage. When both partners feel safe with each other, the real heights of love and connection are available.  From that zone of love and safety in a marriage, communication is easy, conflict gets resolved quickly, and playful, passionate, tender ways of interacting just natural...

032   Many highly sensitive women feel so uncomfortable when their partners get upset, angry, triggered. Often, they get upset themselves!  Or else, they may tiptoe around in order to avoid emotional upheaval, feeling like they need to stop doing certain things (like asking for time to themselves), or start doing certain things...or they hold back on bringing up important topics because their husb...

031   Today we are talking about Communication and Authenticity Inhibition (which is one of the biggest things that stops many HSPs from actually having the relationship we want) and their cause: Negative Emotion Aversion. We dive into how this all gets in the way of healthy effective communication (like asking for what we want), makes it hard to be honest and authentic in our relationships, adds...