Healed-ish

Ashley grew up Mormon, but her family never quite fit the mold. With parents who didn't always follow the church's rules, she struggled to reconcile what she was taught with the judgment she saw within her religious community. As she grew older, she became deeply devoted to her faith, even considering leaving college to marry a returned Mormon missionary.  But experiencing unconditional lo...

This week, Ashley and Bailee from  Praise Be to Pod  join me to talk about all things DEMONIC… or at least, everything we were told was demonic growing up in evangelical Christianity. From Pokémon and Power Rangers to yoga and even brushing your hair, we unpack some of the most ridiculous things Christians have blamed on demons. We also get into the darker side of these beliefs, including delivera...

This week on  Healed-ish , I'm joined by Brandie, who spent 10 years in an on-and-off relationship with Juice Plus, a multi-level marketing company (MLM), spending over $100,000 along the way. We discuss the cult-like dynamics of MLMs, from the promise of community and financial freedom to expensive conferences, false promises, and the pressure to keep going. Brandie shares how the sunk cost f...

What happens when you dedicate your life to preparing for the end of the world? This week on Healed-ish , I'm joined by Brittany, who discovered the International House of Prayer (IHOPKC) through its worship music and became devoted to its mission. Dreaming of becoming a full-time intercessory missionary, she joined their internship program, where overnight shifts in the prayer room, intense f...

When Amanda was just 10 years old, a friend invited her to what she thought was a haunted house. Instead, she found herself inside a terrifying staged experience where she was told she died in a car accident, attended her own funeral, and was taken to “hell.” The worst part? She genuinely believed she was dead. After seeing her viral video, I invited Amanda to share what happened inside that Hell...

Johnny spent more than a decade involved with Expression58, a charismatic church in Los Angeles where he thought he had found something beautiful: a creative community, a sense of purpose, and eventually a career in ministry. Along the way, he worked under prominent prophetic minister Shawn Bolz. Johnny shares what it was like to work with Shawn from inside the charismatic world, the cracks that e...

Comedian Hannah Beck joins me to unpack the lore behind her viral “Dear Daddy God” series, where she reads entries from her extremely religious childhood journals. From judging her friends for watching Glee (while watching it herself for “research”) to practicing kissing with her best friend for their future husbands, who she later realized was absolutely her crush, we’re getting the stories behin...

This documentary literally helped convince me to go to Bethel. 😂  Finger of God  follows filmmaker Darren Wilson as he searches for evidence that God is still performing supernatural miracles today. This includes healings, gold dust and gold teeth. At the time, Anna and I were completely captivated by it. So, years later and on the other side of deconstruction, we decided to watch it again. We’re...

CW:  Conversion therapy, homophobia, suicidal ideation, religious abuse Ben was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, where strict rules, purity culture, and the threat of shunning shaped his life. After coming to terms with being gay, he was forced into a “study” that turned into conversion therapy and ultimately found himself homeless and without the support of his family. Today, his parents have cut c...

CW: Conversion therapy, homophobia, suicidal ideation, religious abuse Ben was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, where strict rules, purity culture, and the threat of shunning shaped his life. After coming to terms with being gay, he was forced into a “study” that turned into conversion therapy and ultimately found himself homeless and without the support of his family. Today, his parents have cut co...

Rachel didn't grow up religious, but after being introduced to church through a friend, Christianity eventually became her entire world. In college, she joined Campus Crusade for Christ (now Cru) and ultimately turned ministry into a full-time career. Rachel shares the cracks she began to see from the inside, why the organization started to feel increasingly culty, and the deconstruction that...

Cringe Book Club has officially arrived to Healed-ish! If you’ve seen the series on my TikTok, you know where this is going: we’re revisiting the Christian books that shaped how many of us thought about faith, relationships, gender, sex, and ourselves, and asking... what exactly were we reading?! Abigail & I are kicking things off with Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, the bestselling Ch...

Melissa Duge Spiers grew up Seventh-day Adventist in a world shaped by strict rules, purity culture, and expectations of what it meant to be a good Christian woman. We talk about Ellen G. White and the beginnings of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, Melissa’s rebellion and eventual separation from her upbringing, and the devastating truth she later learned about her father. Melissa is the author o...

Youth camp was Ellie’s happy place. She made memories with friends, had powerful emotional experiences, and led worship. But after getting involved in a megachurch, she began seeing what happened behind the scenes and what happened when she started asking honest questions. Ellie shares her journey from church camps and megachurch culture to leaving, deconstructing, finding freedom, and healing out...

CW: Domestic Violence, Sexual Abuse, and Discussion of Suicide After many requests to talk about Mica Miller's story and Netflix's Death of the Pastor's Wife , Rihanna (@thediaryofrihanna) joins me to unpack the case and the troubling dynamics surrounding Mica's marriage to pastor JP Miller. With a significant age gap, domestic violence and religious abuse, and the fact that JP was...

Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez had a passion for ministry, but after a trusted youth pastor discovered his internet search history, he was shamed and forced to leave his church. Desperate to change his sexuality, Timothy dove headfirst into conversion therapy through Exodus International, learning how to “act straight” and searching for the supposed wound that made him gay. He also shares what it was...

What happens when you've been taught not to trust your own body? Somatic therapist Samantha (@spiritualembodiment) joins me to explore how purity culture, charismatic Christianity, and harmful messages about our bodies can disconnect us from ourselves. We discuss body shame, eating disorders, spiritual performance, and practical steps toward healing and learning to trust your body again. - Sam...

Rebecca grew up afraid of hell, the rapture, and stepping outside of God’s plan. From the pressure to remain pure to a pastor refusing to marry her after she “fell into sin,” shame shaped some of her biggest life decisions. Years later, she discovered the Christian man she trusted had been living a double life that put her and her children in an unsafe situation. We talk about purity, charismatic...

Part 2 of 2 CW: sexual assault Katie Stone spent her teenage years trying to be the perfect Christian girl, learning to cover herself up, follow the rules, and trust spiritual authority over her own intuition. After leaving the church and pursuing her dreams in Hollywood, she found that the two worlds weren’t always as different as they seemed. As she explored her sexuality and eventually became a...

Part 1 of 2 CW: sexual assault Katie Stone spent her teenage years trying to be the perfect Christian girl, learning to cover herself up, follow the rules, and trust spiritual authority over her own intuition. After leaving the church and pursuing her dreams in Hollywood, she found that the two worlds weren’t always as different as they seemed. As she explored her sexuality and eventually became a...

Welcome to the first Friday Drop!  Every other Friday, I'll be bringing you conversations, behind-the-scenes stories, and bonus episodes. To kick things off, I'm joined by Jeremy (@skeptic.pastor), a former youth pastor, to swap stories about the absolutely unhinged things that happened in evangelical youth groups. From bizarre games to awkward church culture moments, we revisit the insani...

Part 2 of 2 This week, I'm joined by Ciarra, also known as The Gardening Theologian. Raised in a conservative Christian environment, Ciarra learned early to suppress her queer identity and accept the version of God she had been given. But after attending Berkeley, Harvard Divinity School, studying theology, and wrestling with difficult questions, everything changed. In this episode, we talk ab...

Part 1 of 2 This week, I'm joined by Ciarra, also known as The Gardening Theologian. Raised in a conservative Christian environment, Ciarra learned early to suppress her queer identity and accept the version of God she had been given. But after attending Berkeley, Harvard Divinity School, studying theology, and wrestling with difficult questions, everything changed. In this episode, we talk ab...

After taking a break from college, Hannah joined Youth With A Mission (YWAM), where she immersed herself in charismatic Christianity. In this episode, she shares what  that environment was actually like. Speaking in tongues, faith healing, evangelism, and pressure to prove your faith through increasingly bizarre acts ... .including the time someone spit in her eyes in an attempt to heal her eyesig...

Jeff was raised in an Amish household before his family joined the Mennonite church. Years later, he found himself at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, hoping for a different kind of faith. Instead, his time there became the beginning of his deconstruction and his journey toward accepting himself. We talk about purity culture, being gay in conservative Christianity, Bethel, and the unexpecte...