Hard Choices

What's it look like when a Yordle has sex? Not everyone is brave enough to ask those sorts of questions, but we here at Hard Choices fear nothing, not even getting a little addicted to humming "Enemy" over and over. Look, the opening credits to this show are compelling and we will make not apologies for our feelings on the matter. Nor will we apologize for all of our takes on the fuckability of th...

Hard Choices will do a lot to get laid, even go straight to Hell (let's be honest, we've been to Hell with a few of these episodes already). That's right, we've been dragged into the cartoon musical wonderland of Hazbin Hotel and we're determined to sign our souls away in our quest to find the zenith, median, and nadir of fuckability.   Join MeganBob, Dan, Kit, and superfan Eros as they wade throu...

Hey folks! I've got some announcements so you know what's up for the next few months and this summer. Hard Choices is going on hiatus until May 2026 Go to the Hard Choices Patreon and sign up for LOTS of bonus content that will continue to come out over the hiatus!  I'm going to be at GenCon 2026! (July 30th-August 2nd) If you want to get in on some livestreams and some new sets coming out in the...

When Sir Terry Pratchett put pen to paper and first began to shape what would become Discworld, he could not have known that down the line, some little gang of weirdos on the internet would spend almost three hours getting scientifically horny about it. But with a world as rich, multi-layered, and full of larger than life characters as Discworld, it was, perhaps, inevitable. Join our coven of podc...

We're escaping the swamp and coming to you live and full of intoxicating libations because it's Bad Choices! Bad Choices is our drunk liveshow that we broadcast on Crowdcast approximately 2-3 times a year and this time we dove headfirst into one of DreamWorks' most inexplicably beloved franchises, Shrek , to get nasty with Donkey, Gingy, and the rest of the gang! Join James D'Amato, Kit, Maq, and...

Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi! Turn your TV back to 1993 and settle in for a Hard Choices episode of hard-hitting, backflipping, wildly gesticulating action. That's right, it's time to power up by fucking our way through 21 of the most memorably vile villains that questionable English localization can offer! Join our hosts James D'Amato, Jake Mason, Claire Mulkerin, and MeganBob as they suit up to face the mean...

At last! We have you in our clutches, restrained and unable to do anything but sit back and listen to our objectively correct* takes on some of the most fuckable villains that comic books have to offer! You will join Dan Mulkerin, Claire Mulkerin, JoJo Seames, and MeganBob as they deliver diabolical monologues guaranteed to set both heart and loins aflame. They tangle with the likes of Lex Luthor...

Double-check your Item Level and apply your favorite glamours, because this month we're logging into the weird, wild, and frequently patched world of Final Fantasy XIV ! Dan, Kit, and Meganbob group up with Jef from System Mastery to take a spin on the BOOTY Roulette. Which character will prove to be the Zenith, which the Nadir, and how many are just straight up unpronounceable? What ancient Allag...

Everybody to the limit! Well, maybe past the limit, because yes, we're ranking the fuckability of the Homestar Runner universe. Does it matter to you if the Cheat lives in a grill? Do you care if Homestar Runner is wearing pants? Just what can Strong Bad do while wearing boxing gloves?  Join  Patrick Rothfuss , James, D'Amato , Dillin Apelyan , Annie Craton , and MeganBob as they explore what make...

Join James D'Amato, Kit, Maq, and MeganBob for the Bad Choices - Shrek livestream on August 9th at 5pm Pacific!  Bad Choices - Shrek Livestream registration link Join Dan, Claire, JoJo Seames, and MeganBob on Friday, August 29th at 5:20pm in room 106 at Tucson Comic Con for an episode about Comic Book Villains! Tucson Comic Con registration link Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod B...

Look, comic book superheroes have been around for a long time. Some of them get their own billion-dollar film franchises, toylines, video games, Halloween costumes, and breakfast cereals. But then there are the other guys. The ones the MCU won't touch. The ones that make Jack Kirby himself tilt his head in confusion. The weirdos that pop culture is content to forget. But we at Hard Choices don't f...

This show is about so much more than getting a blowjob from a Muppet or finally knowing what Kraven the Hunter smells like. This show is about data. Only by carefully ranking fictional universes, represented by their median fuckable character, against one another can we arrive at a considered understanding of how these fandoms relate. Join Annie Craton, Kris Newton, Dan Mulkerin, and MeganBob for...

According to sensors, a freak ion storm has transported an alternate universe Hard Choices episode into this feed! But this is not Hard Choices as we know it. Instead, join Admiral James D'Amato, Captain Kris Newton, Agony Booth Test Subject Dan Mulkerin, and Madame Sharon Schneiderman as they take a harsh, sweaty look at the characters of Star Trek's Mirror Universe. WARNING: As befits an evil po...

Something was in the air in 2004 and we're not entirely sure what it was. Whatever it was, ABC's Lost was chockful of it and boy howdy was the landscape of American television ever weirder because of it. Join Kam Servo of UNspoiled! The Constant: Lost  and newcomers Jody Troutman of LongTallJodie  and Claire J. Vannette of Relationship Mastery , along with absolute Lost newbie, MeganBob, as they r...

It's time to get in the wayback machine and revisit the characters that defined the mid-century American television landscape: Nick at Nite Couples. Bad Choices was exactly the right place to break out the fancy cocktail glasses, get fabulously dressed, and say things that would make shock our parents.  Join Kris Newton, James D'Amato, Marissa, and MeganBob in (drunkenly) ranking the fuckability o...

This enormous episode is guaranteed to make you go super saiyan! Now, will it be with shock? Outrage? Sheer overwhelming horniness? You'll have to listen to find out! We cover the sexual prowess of characters from the length, breadth, and width of Dragon Ball, in search of the median, zenith, and nadir of bedroom performance. The list of characters was so vast and series spanning, we broke our pre...

Join us for the Bad Choices - Nick at Nite Couples livestream on Saturday, November 23rd at 5pm Pacific! Kris Newton and I go over our cocktail options for a very mid-century American vibe, and give some recommendations to get you ready for a night of debauchery and fun! Any patrons of Hard Choices can join in this delicious night of excess! Register HERE! Not a patron of Hard Choices yet? Join HE...

Hard Choices returns once more to stalk the night in search of boners. This time, it's every fuckable fuck-up in the world of What We Do in the Shadows. That's right! You get vampires, werewolves, a zombie, a milf, it's everything you could possibly want, plus a bunch of fun vampire accents! Join the Hard Choices clan of Kris Newton, Dan, Kit, and MeganBob as they knock coffins with the Manhattan...

Bad Choices - Nick at Nite Couples is taking every single familiar face from mid-century American television and we're gonna get filthy with them. Saturday, November 23rd, at 5pm Pacific is when it kicks off, and you can go! All you have to do is be a patron of Hard Choices at any level. That's right, for a mere $1.69 you can get stuffed on the backlog of bonus content, as well as joining James D'...

Hard Choices has a Hadouken of horniness for you with this thorough breakdown of the fuckability of 21 Street Fighter characters. Listen to our hosts take on the strongest woman in the world, and their conclusion that maybe handsome fighters lose some  battles. Whether you're here to feel the caress of a Dragon Punch, a Sonic Boom, or a Hundred-Hand Slap, our hosts are going to make sure you don't...

In a world that hates and fears them, only four people are brave enough to stand up in public on the internet and rank the fuckability of 21 of Marvel comics most fuckable team, the X-Men. Chris Sims, Dan, Kam Servo, and MeganBob enter the bedroom with characters ranging from Cyclops to Emma Frost to Magneto to Storm, and come out the other side with definitive rankings that you, the internet publ...

Our thirst for Nicolas Cage cannot be quenched after just a single episode about his many starring roles. Hell, I don't know if our thirst for Cage is quenched after a second episode either, but for now, you have a fresh 2+ hours of Miles, Dan, Kit, Claire, and MeganBob peering into the dark heart of Cagemas and trying to figure out how these characters bone down. Join us as we tackle Ben Gates fr...

This here is the horniest podcast in the 'verse. We rounded up a crew of space cowboys worthy of riding into the world of Firefly, ready to get down with anyone worth having. Join Kam, Miles Schneiderman, Rio, and MeganBob, as they take off into the black, and rank the fuckability of the Serenity crew and most everyone else you remember slinging guns in Old West Space China. These four will find t...

If you've got a burning desire for enormous winged reptiles, then do we have the episode for you! In this, perhaps the most monsterfuckiest episode of Hard Choices to date, we take a look at 21 of the hottest, sexiest dragons from across media of all kinds! Well... "sexiest" may be stretching it in some cases. But hey, when you've got as much dragon boning to get through as we do, stretching is pr...

Bad Choices is coming for you on Saturday, April 20th at 5PM PT and it's coming  hard!  As a result of all the Bad Choices hullabaloo, among other things, MeganBob couldn't pull together an episode for April in time, but this is two gems from the Patreon feed featuring Bad Choices co-hosts Annie Craton and Dan Mulkerin.  Click HERE to register for Bad Choices so you don't miss one second of the ac...