Growing with Sol

Life becomes a waiting game. Waiting for texts, commitment, apologies, explanations. Always from someone who isn't really interested in getting back to you. So what does decentering men actually mean, and how do you do it without giving up on wanting love? What decentering men really is: Men stop being the reference point for what you do, look like, where you go, what you tolerate, and prioritize...

Hot girl walks. Pilates. Korean skincare. Wellness trends are everywhere, and they all promise empowerment. But when does a helpful practice stop being about your wellbeing and start being about someone else's bottom line? What we're unpacking about the wellness industrial complex: When aesthetic and gear become more important than the actual practice Paywalling basic things like hydration and mov...

In this episode of our series 'Stories That Shape Us', my friend Priscilla and I are breaking down Tower of Dawn, the book where the action is mostly physical therapy, political dinners, and a lot of walking (well, rolling). It's one of the most divisive books in the Throne of Glass series, and we get into why. 🚨 Major spoiler alert for Tower of Dawn and the entire Throne of Glass series! What we...

When I picked up Jillian Turecki's "It Begins with You," I kept thinking: where was this book 12 years ago? I had to learn these dating lessons the hard way - depression, CPTSD, the whole mess. Zero out of 10, do not recommend learning it that way. The book breaks down 9 hard truths about dating and relationships: The mind is a battlefield - limiting beliefs like "my type's not my type" block you...

Why is women's anger so often dismissed, suppressed, or even feared? The cool girl who doesn't get mad. The "hysterical" woman. The "spicy Latina." We're taught from childhood to be nice, polite, and agreeable - which actually means don't be angry, don't disrupt. Here's the truth about women and anger: Anger happens because we've been wronged - expressing it means accepting we're worthy of having...

The people I know who don't use social media seem lighter than the rest of us. If you can quit, do it. But for those of us who can't - because we use it for work or entertainment or both - it comes down to how we curate our feeds. Because algorithms are exploiting your vulnerabilities, and yes, you are susceptible to propaganda even if you think you're too smart for it. Here's what we're exploring...

I have a friend who could live off a flip phone, just calls and texts, barely uses social media. I was so jealous. Because here I am with 10+ hours of screen time, doom scrolling in bed, clicking onto Instagram and immediately seeing buildings exploding. Sometimes I become too informed and need to dissociate for a bit. Here's what we're exploring about digital spring cleaning: How millennials reme...

Let's face it - the American Dream is bullshit now. Or maybe it always was, because it was never supposed to pertain to someone like me anyway. But here's the thing: even the people it WAS designed for can't achieve it anymore. My parents owned a home at 35. I'm celebrating not having roommates. Here's what we're exploring about redefining success: How the American Dream shifted from consumerism (...

The early 2000s beauty standards are back: low-rise jeans, "#SkinnyTok," Ozempic ads everywhere. I get GLP-1 ads every single day. And as someone who lived through the "you must be size zero or you're fat" era, I'm having flashbacks. But here's what's shifted for me: jiu jitsu changed how I relate to my body. Here's what we're exploring about body image and martial arts: How beauty standards are e...

How many of you are in your 30s rediscovering old hobbies from childhood - things you were into as a kid that now bring you so much joy again? Same here. I think this whole phenomenon is part of a healing arc so many people started in their 30s, and it's about radical self-acceptance. Here's what we're exploring about finding your true self: How we lost ourselves in our 20s (work, hustle culture,...

I read a Threads post asking people to share the romantic thing they've always wanted but never had. I went from "oh that's relatable" to "this got me right in the trauma and I need to stop reading before I cry." We're all apparently just very traumatized from past relationships - and dating after romantic trauma is a mindfuck. Here's what we're exploring about love after trauma: The two paths aft...

You know that friend who's been there longer than any boyfriend? The one you joke with saying "I'll be at your wedding, but he might not be"? That's soul-deep connection - and science says it might be saving your life. This Galentine's Day, let's celebrate the power of female friendship. Here's what we're exploring about women supporting women: The science behind female friendship (oxytocin, stres...

Everyone wants the benefits of a village, but nobody wants to be a villager. We all want community, support, and deep connections - but we're terrified to actually be vulnerable ourselves. With Valentine's Day and Galentine's Day this week, let's talk about what's really at the foundation of every meaningful relationship: emotional intimacy. Here's what we're exploring about building deeper connec...

This is the very first episode of 2026 - and we're starting the year by stepping into our power. If you have goals you want to reach this year, things you want to change, or you're ready for real growth, this episode is for you. Here's what we're exploring about stepping into your power: Why your definition of power might not actually be yours (and how social media messes with this) The perfection...

This is your New Year's week book episode to send off 2025 right - wrapping up the year with all the books I read, from the emotional to the adventurous to the absolutely spicy, complete with reading stats and spice levels. If you're looking for book recs to start 2026, this is it. 2025 READING STATS: 27 books read (goal was 35, but last year was only 25 total!) 9,954 pages 12 days average per boo...

This is your holiday special of Stories that Shape Us, because sometimes curling up with a good book discussion is exactly what you need. This is part 2 of the Empire of Storms analysis. We break down why Aelin's self-sacrifice is actually tragic, how keeping secrets is a trauma response, and why Rowan's love is the kind we all deserve. 🚨 Spoiler Alert 🚨 Here's what we're exploring about Aelin's...

This is the year-end reflection that goes beyond productivity and asks what truly mattered this year. Life isn't just work and achievements - it's the fun moments, the love you experienced, the calm quiet peace you created. This reflection includes all five guided steps with every question to help you honestly assess your year while celebrating the joy and growth that can't be measured by goal com...

This is why doing nothing is the most revolutionary thing you can do this holiday season - and why you desperately need to reclaim rest. Here's what we're exploring about rest as revolution: The competition problem: 43% say holiday stress interferes with enjoyment, 36% say holidays feel like competition Hustle culture invades holidays: pressure to ace it, attend everything, find perfect gifts, cre...

This is the unconventional new year prep you actually need: releasing what no longer serves you before you add anything new. Here's what we're exploring about letting go rituals: What to release: limiting beliefs, toxic relationships, old habits, grudges, past failures - things emotionally tied to your self-concept Burning ceremony ritual: write it down, safely burn it, watch it physically release...

This is the uncomfortable gratitude practice you need - being thankful for your failures, setbacks, and the hard things that shaped you. Here's what we're exploring about reframing failure: Why looking back at setbacks is difficult but necessary: avoiding them means missing powerful lessons The self-forgiveness journey: facing every moment of self-betrayal through daily meditation (gut-wrenching b...

This is why being single in your 30s isn't the problem everyone makes it out to be - and why it might actually be the best thing for you right now. Here's what we're exploring about being single in your 30s: Why acceptance doesn't mean settling: you can embrace where you are without loving it forever The confidence factor: you're finally secure enough to show up fully yourself in every area of lif...

This is why reading romance novels isn't just fun - it's actually healing work, especially when you're traumatized and scared to date again. Here's what we're exploring about romance novels and healing: What romance actually is: central love story with satisfying ending - not porn despite misogynistic claims Why the writing is phenomenal: making readers feel emotions deeply takes serious skill How...

This is the deeply personal story of why my dog Mochi isn't just a pet - he's the reason I'm still here. The moment when getting an emotional support animal at the height of my depression became the best decision I've ever made in my entire life. Here's what we're exploring about emotional support animals and mental health: What ESAs actually are: animals that provide therapeutic benefit through p...

What if pausing for 30 seconds to notice sunlight through tree leaves could improve your mental health? I've always found beauty in small things—a perfect coffee, golden hour light, watching my dog Mochi exist in his adorable glory. Turns out, these moments of appreciation are powerful acts of gratitude that reshape our brains. Here's what we're exploring about gratitude and daily happiness: The n...

This is the science-backed case for why creativity isn't just a hobby - it's essential for building confidence and self-esteem. Have you ever felt better about yourself after creating something? There's actually research explaining why that happens. Here's what we're exploring about creativity and confidence: The science: Children who engaged in creative activities daily had significantly higher s...