Frontline Fifth

​​SAFE SECTION: We all peg each others' types in this week's game, and then Brooke and John are off and running into completely unhinged theoryland. SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah get deep and philosophical thinking about what Crown really wants. Pull up next week in the car with the grille in Chapter 15 and John 8:1, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs...

​​SAFE SECTION: So many memes! A long conversation about holobionts! John hopped up on caffeine and pacing! This episode has it all! SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie talk about everyone's secrets and Marie almost convinces Hannah that two thigh machetes isn't terrible (or is terrible, but is at least interesting). Join us next week to stop in on an old friend  in Chapters 13 and 14 but til then,...

​​SAFE SECTION: Marie develops a Mithraeum perfume. (Fun fact - you can find out what space smells like for yourself! Here on Earth! And heck, while we are linking things, here is a good article. ) We explain NFTs to John (not really, but it sounds funnier that way). Honestly, so many tangents.  SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie examine necro/cav relationships. Join us next week to hear what is se...

SAFE SECTION: Brooke is an enchilada, John sweeps around his house in a cloak, we learn that Nona is good at making SMART goals. SPOILER SECTION: Hannah has questions about eyes, and Marie rants about dogs. Join us next week to keep Camilla home in Chapter 10 and John 5:18, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because,...

​​SAFE SECTION: The gang wants to know your opinions about oatmeal cookies, and then Brooke will explain her elaborate plan to steal restaurant dishes, John confesses to eating a stick of butter, and everyone except John is insufferable about PhDs. SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie are obsessed with Pyrrha. Join us next week to watch us move some hands in Chapters 9, 10, and John 15:23 but til the...

​​SAFE SECTION: We all compare notes on our daily ablutions and tell each other bedtime stories, John convinces Brooke of Crown's identity, and Brooke and John decide they know who Nona is. SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah spend a lot of time talking about Pyrrha and picking apart Cam's bedtime story. Next week, wake up with a wet sponge to the face  in Chapters 7 and 8 but til then, stay safe my...

SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John are still frustrated, and getting used to a different pacing. SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah talk about names and puzzle through chapter icons. Join us next week to hear a bedtime story  in Chapters 5, 6, and John 5:20 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts. Cont...

SAFE SECTION: We all spend way too long reminiscing about the birth of the internet until we fall into an abyss of cringe. John is exasperated, Brooke is flabbergasted, Marie is enjoying this all too much, and Hannah continues to be the mastermind.  SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie compare notes with the newbies nascent theories. Join us next week to hear about gang initiation  in Chapters 2, 3 &...

Surprise! We are benevolent bone witches, and so we interrupt your longing with a leetle teaser episode. We all talk about the Dramatis Personae and new poem in Nona the Ninth, and then you can listen to Brooke and John as they give their live reactions to the first chapter in Nona the Ninth. Join us next year when we meet Nona for real, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to...

SAFE SECTION: Kara, the Mastermind of Bone Island and other quality content, joins the cast to play a succession of exceedingly silly games.  Find Kara on TikTok , or listen to Lesbians are Brutal wherever you get your podcasts! Join us in January when we start Nona the Ninth next season! You can tide yourself over with bonus content on our Patreon, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and rem...

SPOILER SECTION: Lizzi joins the bone witches as they go into RAMPANT SPECULATION land and trade their most favorite and close-held theories. Follow Lizzi on TikTok or Tumblr ! Join us next week to hear a special games episode with guest star Kara but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts. Content...

SAFE SECTION: Lizzi joins the bone witches and newbies to rate fan theories by their level of unhinged on a scale of Brooke to John.  Follow Lizzi on TikTok or Tumblr ! Join us next week to hear a special games episode with guest star Kara but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because, you know, ghosts. Content warning:...

SPOILER SECTION: This episode contains series spoilers through Nona the Ninth! Recurring guest stars Sonia and Josh join Hannah and Marie for a performance in the theater of the absurd as we discuss the short story "The Unwanted Guest." Join us next week for an episode of Fan Theories and Rampant Speculation! with special guest of niche-fandom TikTok fame, Lizzi! but til then, stay safe my Ninth n...

This episode is SAFE for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex, and As Yet Unsent. Update: John has said a decent number of dumb things in the history of this podcast, but nothing has been dumber and more terrible than his take on shipping. He has since seen the light and begs your forgiveness. Thank you.  In this episode, Brooke and John delve int...

​​SAFE SECTION: We contemplate past Brooke and John's preseason predictionsm return to FMKR, and let the newly budded Lyctors rampantly speculate on who Nona might be. Join us next week when Brooke and John read "As Yet Unsent" and to enjoy the return of MUCH WANTED GUESTS, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or enter any doors without permission, because,...

SPOILER SECTION: Have you been reading along for the first time with Brooke and John, and you've been dying to know what Marie and Hannah talk about behind that spoiler warning? Now is your chance! These spoilers are safe for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex, and As Yet Unsent.  Content warning: This episode contains bones, blood, smut and swe...

SPOILER SECTION: Have you been reading along for the first time with Brooke and John, and you've been dying to know what Marie and Hannah talk about behind that spoiler warning? Now is your chance! These spoilers are safe for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex, and As Yet Unsent. Join us THURSDAY to hear more sanitized SPOILERS but til then, sta...

SPOILER SECTION: Have you been reading along for the first time with Brooke and John, and you've been dying to know what Marie and Hannah talk about behind that spoiler warning? Now is your chance! These spoilers are safe for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex, and As Yet Unsent. Join us next week to hear more sanitized SPOILERS but til then, st...

SPOILER SECTION: Have you been reading along for the first time with Brooke and John, and you've been dying to know what Marie and Hannah talk about behind that spoiler warning? Now is your chance! These spoilers are safe for anyone who has read Gideon the Ninth, Harrow the Ninth, The Mysterious Study of Dr. Sex, and As Yet Unsent. Join us THURSDAY to hear more sanitized SPOILERS but til then, sta...

SAFE SECTION: Brooke and John end the books with a collective groan of dissatisfaction while the bone witches cackle with glee, and spend a good amount of time in truly reckless speculation, trying to predict what Nona the Ninth might have in store for them. SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie continue to cackle with glee, make some soul maps, and contemplate just how frustrated the newbies will be...

SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie spend more than 2% of the time snickering at n00b speculation, but also a good amount of time in their own reckless speculation Join us next week when John and Brooke pick sides in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 52, 53, and the Epilogue. That’s right! Next week we are finishing Harrow the Ninth! Til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs...

​​We were veeery chatty this week so in this (only) SAFE SECTION: Brooke asks whose sunglasses were those to begin with, John asks if it counts as a god complex if you are actually god, and Hannah and Marie ask the infants how they are making these insane predictions. Join us next week to hear John and Brooke pick sides in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 52, 53, and the Epilogue. That’s right! Next week...

​​SAFE SECTION: We all collapse into giggles multiple times over John's puns and Tamsyn's Ianthe/Gideon buddy cop routine, and we plan our next foray into the Bone Zone Media Universe.  SPOILER SECTION: Hannah and Marie collapse into giggles over Brooke and John's rampant speculation. Join us next week to confront God in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 50 and 51, but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros,...

SAFE SECTION: No one appreciates John's comedic genius, Brooke is very unhappy about pincers, we all make monsters worse than the worst bees. SPOILER SECTION: Marie and Hannah spill the beans on the Bone Zone Media cinematic universe. Join us next week to call up some ghosts in Harrow the Ninth Chapters 48 and 49 but til then, stay safe my Ninth necros, and remember not to unlock any tombs or ente...