fiving: an enneagram 5 in progress

I’m chewing on this question: Are all “information binges” attempts to get social needs met? Reflecting on my most recent period of deep receptivity and the fragments of community I found within it. Use what moves you, let go of the rest. And let me know what resonates.   ✨ Instagram: @un.fiving   unfiving@gmail.com ✨ Music by Sleeping At Last

Learn to recognize the stories that carry fear and keep you from risking close relationships. Reach past them into spirit—toward your highest values and the most expansive and free evolution of yourself. Cultivate your strength and connection to intuition by spending time with your points of power—they could be houseplants, trees, mountains, rivers, or an archetypal guide. The natural world has so...

“You’re gorgeous! And you deserve a relationship that allows you to be gorgeous in the way that only you are and to share your gifts that only you have to give. Anything short of that is short of that.” A continuation of the previous episode, with more detail, exploration, practices for real growth and healing, and answers to listener questions. Let me know what you think! 💗 * Instagram: @un.fivi...

This one is all about the first stage of dating: preparing. If you want your dating life to look different or bring a different outcome, take a pause and reorient. I give you a few tips and starting places in this episode, including: - Let your mind know what you’re doing and get its support - Get clear on your what and your why - Make your Mary Poppins list (inspiration: https://youtu.be/fNTzp9gr...

Announcing a shift: I’m adjusting my focus so that my primary goal is delivering helpful tips, wisdom, reflections, and guidance to help you as you journey along in your Fiveness or search for more insight into Enneagram Fives. I’ll include specific and sometimes personal examples or stories to support that, and still share some personal updates, but I hope to bring a bit of a different energy and...

Mentions: Euphoria, Harry Potter, Rick Hanson, Tara Brach

Reflections on breaking norms, hormone surges, right timing, shifting between stability and upheaval, navigating by starlight, the hard work of embodying intentions, and probably a few other things I’m forgetting right now.

More rambling reflections from this spiral of personal evolution. 💗 Instagram: @un.fiving Music by Sleeping at Last

This week I’m wading deeper into parts work and relating to my ever-changing inner states from a place of wholeness. This shift from being merged with a feeling to being in relationship with it is a powerful one: it opens up a world of possibilities and allows the feeling to deliver its message and move on rather than getting stuck and blocking our flow. The more feelings get stuck in us, the less...

I’m addressing my inner skeptics with gratitude and farewells as I reconnect with forgotten ways of caring for myself.  I'm also exploring how to honor my inner work while stepping into more outer work: expressing, collaborating, connecting, expanding, engaging, impacting, and making bold moves.  We all have so much beauty, love, and creativity to share with the world.  What happens...

A simple, fun exercise to shift your relationship to the shame and fear getting in your way and strengthen your connection to what freedom feels like for you.  Let me know if you find it helpful!  Instagram: @un.fiving   Music by Sleeping at Last

I’m taking a step back to look at the forest, then refocusing on the trees.  Setting my values and finding inspiration for the next stretch of my path.  ✨ Mentioned in this episode: Jen Sincero - “In order to kick ass, you must first lift up your foot.” Martha Beck - The idea that a tiny, one degree turn will dramatically change your trajectory over time. Chani Nicholas, a personalized...

I’m taking it easy this week, surrendering to the needs of my immune system. 🌸    As always, Music by Sleeping at Last Production by me, Monica Bahan

I’ve been noticing how much I try to avoid relying on anyone or anything and how by subconsciously keeping money tight I both reinforce and undermine that avoidance. I desperately want to break these habits, and I think interdependence with others is the path through the independence-dependence tension that tends to trip me up.   🌸    Music by Sleeping At Last   Everything else by me, Monica Baha...

Anxiety and self-doubt kept me away, but I’m back and have a few new intentions for the podcast going forward.  🌸   Music by Sleeping At Last  Everything else by me, Monica Bahan  Email: unfiving@gmail.com  Instagram: @un.fiving

First, more thoughts on the enneagram frame as I experience it:   - Subtypes/instinctual variants: self-preservation (individual), sexual (one-to-one), and social (collective). My attention stack goes in that order: self-preservation first—so I'm a self-preservation subtype of the 5—then sexual, then social. These days I'm focusing more on the social level after leaving it on the back bu...

What I mean when I say I’m an enneagram 5 with a 4 wing (5w4): revisiting the foundational conceptual frame for this podcast. The episode ends with the full song “Five” by Sleeping At Last (with a run time 5:55, of course). Tendencies include:  Hoarding ideas, dreams, favors, credits, intellectual resources and physical materials for just-in-case use in the future. Hiding my vulnerability and...

It’s been a while. I was coping with a down shift in support, focused on getting through each day without major problems, and working my way through a couple major problems that did crop up, including crises of confidence and direction. I grappled with hormonal chaos and destabilization in my living situation and closest relationships, all while continuing to care for my toddler full time and gett...

A brief follow-up to Episode 9. A reflection on some of the ways I fostered a healthy relationship to self, and how that was necessary for engaging with the enneagram of personality as a channel for growth.  Before you deconstruct your ego you have to build a robust relationship to self so you have somewhere to stand while you do it. I don’t mean developing a static sense of a static self—qui...

Ugh. Are you as tired of hearing about gratitude as I am? No? Cool. Either way, I’m gonna tell you about how buzz words turn me off and how I’ve opened up the concept of gratitude to build something meaningful and essential to my me-ness in a way that works for me. Also a preview of some ideas coming soon: emotional storms and minimizing my presence as a social preservation response.  Let me...

Meandering thoughts—on a meandering walk—on one of my growth edges and the attainability of my goal of financial independence; seeing parallels/metaphors in the natural world.  Let me know what resonates.   🌸    Background photo by me, Monica, the day of editing   Music by Sleeping At Last   Production by me, Monica Bahan Instagram: @un.fiving mon...

We all yearn to go back sometimes, to when things were good, to when we felt better, to before the loss. We can’t go back. But, if we listen, the yearning can show us the way forward.  I give a few examples of yearning to go back and explore how our fear and loss can point to what we value, what we’re wanting—giving us direction for opening, healing, growing, and connecting.  I also give...

I’m approaching dating as a single/solo mom, first conceptually and then in real time (maybe). I have a strong sense that decluttering has to come first—internal and external decluttering, clearing, organizing, and arranging to achieve harmony and carry less baggage. But can dating and decluttering happen simultaneously? I need help.  Mentioned today:  🧠 ♥️🌟 EMDR therapy: stands for Ey...

I talk about how I see the enneagram of personality—that we become our type through an interaction of our innate personality and early life experience, and that it’s all about where we get stuck and how to get unstuck; the difference in perspective between the right and left hemispheres of the brain; and the mind in human design. And then I tell a story from my own life—Mother’s Day 2021—that illu...

Accuracy in language is especially important for we sensitive folk (and maybe even more so for wee sensitive folk ☺️). Pay attention to the words you use, both with yourself and others, and get to know your personal lexicon. Words move you, so choose language that gets you where you want to go. If it lights you up, go there.    When we rely too heavily on the common language of the...