Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast

Marriage coach Monica Tanner joins Ali to challenge the unwritten rulebook most of us absorbed about relationships without ever questioning it. Monica, the author of Bad Marriage Advice , breaks down why a lot of the advice well-meaning people pass down is not just unhelpful but actively working against us. The conversation covers why "never go to bed angry" is a recipe for sleep deprivati...

Amy Chan returns to the pod for an in-person recording with Ali, a conversation spurned from her own deep attachment work. The two chat about Amy’s new book Unsingle, where she leverages her personal experiences to help you identify your recurring patterns in relationships. The two get into why you keep choosing the same person in a different body (and how to actually change that), the mechanics o...

This week, Ali sits down with Julia, a listener who shares her experience discovering that vaginal sex just doesn't work for her body. She walks through how that shaped her early dating experiences, including a two-and-a-half year situationship, and what it was like to tell her current partner. They get into why penetration isn't the gold standard of sex, how societal expectations create f...

Relationship coach and author Meg Tuohey joins Ali to introduce her concept of the HeartPrint, the idea that each of us is as unique as our fingerprints in how we move through the world and relate to others. Meg breaks down why frameworks like attachment styles and love languages, while helpful, can only take us so far, and how real self-knowledge requires a deeper, more individualized kind of att...

Returning guest and Ali’s good friend Darcy is back on the pod, and they’re diving straight into the New York Times' crowdsourced list of 35 dating rules. Some of them? Genuinely solid. Some of them? Completely unhinged. And several of them directly contradict each other, which is so indicative of modern dating. Topics include how people treat servers, outsourcing your nervous system to a part...

Ali sits down with Ilana Dunn, host of Seeing Other People, for a conversation about the dating advice they both either ignored in the past or wish they’d taken sooner. They dig into the patterns that kept them stuck longer than necessary: from ignoring gut feelings and making excuses for bad behavior, to chasing potential over reality and performing chill they never actually felt. Listener submis...

We’ve got some amazing listener questions this week, and the thread running through all of them is a concept introduced in this week's Media Mention: high involvement, low attachment, inspired by a TikTok from @mother.of.a.dilemma. From there, she answers three listener questions: one from a man who freezes before sending a first message, one from a woman who only swipes right when she already...

TW: This episode includes discussion of grief, loss, and suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. You can call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline — they're available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and it's free and confidential. This week, Ali is joined by a listener who opens up about grieving the loss of a partner and navigating life (...

Matchmaker Jackie Dorman joins Ali to break down the latest season of Love Is Blind through the lens of someone who has helped over 1,600 people get engaged or married. They dig into why the pod format rewards anxious attachment, what emotional over-functioning really looks like on screen, and how to tell the difference between genuine chemistry and chaos. Plus, couple-by-couple predictions on who...

Dr. Paula Freedman-Diamond joins Ali to discuss people-pleasing and how it relates to control in dating and relationships. Paula, a therapist and author of Toxic Striving, breaks down how people-pleasing and rigid boundary-setting are two sides of the same coin: both are attempts to control outcomes and avoid uncomfortable feelings. The conversation explores how to identify when you're priorit...

Ali is back with another Hot Topics episode, starting with listener updates and reflections sparked by a recent listener storytime and a past Hot Topics question. She then dives into your submitted questions, covering losing interest once the chase ends, making sense of mixed signals when someone’s words and actions don’t align, receiving vague “executive presence” feedback at work, and navigating...

This week, Ali hosts Anna Lecat for a conversation that reframes conflict as a powerful tool for connection rather than something to avoid. Together, the two unpack why so many of us fear uncomfortable conversations (especially in dating) and how that fear can quietly sabotage intimacy. Throughout the episode, they’re exploring how to recognize meaningful early dating conflicts, communicate needs...

This week, Ali sits down with veteran matchmaker April Beyer (who has 25+ years in the industry!) to unpack why dating feels harder than ever and how to make it more human again. They talk about letting go of attachment to outcomes, loosening rigid “criteria,” and why going on more dates can actually lead to love faster than waiting for the perfect match. April breaks down her idea of “relatabilit...

Ali sits down with FMH listener Allison for a storytime episode all about building a relationship that works for you, even if it breaks societal norms. Allison shares what it was like feeling like a late bloomer as she navigated finding her now-partner in her late 30’s. From dating a divorced dad with two kids to navigating mismatched timelines around moving in, engagement, and merging lives, Alli...

Did you ever think that improv could apply to dating? Repeat guest Miriam Katz is back this week, a fun, hands-on conversation about how to feel lighter, more confident, and more authentic on dates…using improv! They talk about tone and enthusiasm, how to practice presence in low-pressure everyday moments, and why “being good” is not the goal if you’re trying to connect like a real human. Ali flip...

In this New Year episode, Ali shares her word for the year, foundation, and the theme guiding how she’s setting up the year ahead: less chaos, more intention. She explains her process for reflecting on the past year and talks through the unglamorous but powerful changes she’s focusing on in her daily life, including routines, work structure, habits, and health. Ali also answers listener questions...

In this episode, Ali is joined by Skyline for a continuation of last week’s year in review episode, this time focused on their relationship. Using a framework from her friend Talia, host of the Dating Intentionally podcast, they reflect on the past year as a couple. It’s an honest, conversational look at what stood out, what worked, what surprised them, and what the year actually felt like when yo...

In this solo Year in Review episode, Ali shares an honest recap of 2025, including the wins, the messy parts, and why this year felt more like a quiet level-setting season than a highlight reel. She reflects on how Finding Mr. Height has evolved, what surprised her about self-employment, and what it looked like to grow “offline” while seeing online growth around her. Ali also gets real about the h...

Ali is joined by her mom (aka Mama J) from their girls trip to Costa Rica for a real, funny, and super practical convo about holiday logistics when you’re dating someone. They start with trip updates (a crab in the hallway, a fully gluten-free resort, and the upcoming “48-hour travel day + cats” marathon), then dive into what listeners said in IG polls about where they’re spending the holidays, wh...

Content note for this episode: we talk in detail about menopause, infertility and IVF, chronic pain, medical dismissal, and depression. This week, Ali is joined by longtime listener Sara, who shares a powerful Storytime about discovering she was essentially in menopause at 36. After years of symptoms like debilitating periods, anxiety, depression, fatigue, Sara finally got answers when fertility t...

Katy & Tony are back this week to share their updates from the dating trenches. First, Tony tells us about the guy he’s surprisingly started dating long distance - we unpack mixed signals, hookup-to-date pivots, and how long distance might work better for him. Then we chat with Katy, whose dating life is serving a completely different flavor of excitement. Think: texting energy, red flags, sel...

This week, Ali welcomes the brilliant and endlessly curious Miriam Tinberg, a content creator who describes herself (rightly so!) as a conversation starter. If you like discussions that make you say, “wait, I’ve never thought about it like that,” you’re in the right place. We dive into unspoken rules, etiquette, communication patterns, and the gray space we all actually live in - not just in datin...

In this episode, Ali sits down with somatic sex coach and author Rachel Overvoll for an honest, expansive conversation about divorce, desire, and learning to feel safe in your own body. The two talk about the shifting stigma around divorce, why “it might end” is not a reason to avoid marriage, and how women are often conditioned to over-function in relationships until they burn out. Rachel also br...

Ali is solo this week answering questions submitted by you, the listeners! Our question round up includes: navigating comfort vs spark chasing in a new relationship, starting to date when you’re still getting over your ex, how Skyline and I establish de-escalating tactics in every day life, finding a partner who appreciates your independence, and more. In Updates, Ali had a wonderful time at the R...

Therapist and creator of Detangling Divorce, Stacey Sherrell, joins Ali to talk about the role of self-trust in finding a strong partnership, her own path to divorce, and how couples can set themselves up for success long before a crisis. Topics also include: respect as a non-negotiable and how to spot corrosive conflict, the invisible mental load, when to start couples therapy, the questions to a...