Evolving Love

What would you choose if there were no perfect answers? In this return of our Would You Rather series, we explore some confronting relationship dilemmas. Would you rather discover your partner had a passionate year-long affair you never knew about, or have them come to you beforehand and ask for permission to pursue the exact same connection openly? Would you choose the greatest romantic and sexua...

In this episode of Evolving Love , we dive into one of the biggest fears people have around non-monogamy: what happens if you fall in love with someone else? We also unpack the difference between infatuation, limerence and lasting love. We share stories about dating separately for the first time, navigating intense emotional connections with other partners, and learning how openness and honesty he...

In this episode of the Evolving Love podcast, we dive into one of the most common accusations aimed at non-monogamous people: are we actually narcissists? We unpack the way the word “narcissist” gets thrown around online and in relationship culture, and explore whether non-monogamy is genuinely selfish or whether it can actually require deeper empathy, accountability and communication. Along the w...

In this episode, we explore one of the biggest questions we hear: is non-monogamy actually right for you? We break it down into three parts, first looking at the reasons you probably shouldn’t open your relationship, signs you might be ready to start exploring, and finally we share what it feels like when you are ready to start exploring non-monogamy. We explore the red flags, the green lights, an...

Today’s conversation is deeply personal for us and one that features a unique, open-minded and compassionate perspective from our guest. We’re joined by Dr. Sandra Webster, an educational leader, former school principal across three different countries, and more recently the author of the book “ Creating Family-School Partnerships” . In this conversation, we explore what true inclusion looks like...

In this episode, we reflect on what it has been like to take our relationship into the public eye after appearing on SBS’s Insight , where we spoke about jealousy, envy, and compersion. What followed was a flood of online commentary, much of it critical. We unpack what it feels like to have our relationship reduced to a two-minute clip and judged at scale, and we explore why people feel so certain...

Today’s conversation opens up a wider reflection on modern gender discourse and and whether some narratives unintentionally deepen the divide between men and women rather than bringing them together. We explore what it means to hold space for the realities of inequality while still imagining a future where men and women move forward in partnership rather than opposition. We also discuss Married At...

In today’s episode we sit down with Fer from the Polycurious Podcast to unpack a story that began with a first date in New York and unfolded into a powerful lesson about jealousy, veto power, honesty, and growth. We share openly about the moment Abbey felt triggered when Liam and Fer connected, how unspoken feelings led to a quiet veto, and what it took to circle back a year later with truth and r...

Today we are joined by the “Peri Godmother”, Australian TV Journalist Shelly Horton who has written the book “I’m Your Peri Godmother: A happily ever after guide to kicking perimenopause in the ovaries.” With a 30+ year media career spanning ABC, Channel Seven, Fairfax Media and ET America, Shelly has appeared weekly on Channel Nine’s TODAY and TODAY EXTRA for over a decade and is also the founder...

In this episode, we dive headfirst into the world of hot wifing and hot husbanding , unpacking what these dynamics actually are and why they can feel so electrifying. We talk openly about erotic charge, compersion, possession, and play, exploring how fantasy and power can exist inside consensual, loving relationships without contradicting autonomy or feminist values. We also explore the practical...

In today’s episode we talk about entering midlife without the stereotype of a meltdown. We explore grief for past versions of ourselves, tenderness for who we’re becoming, and how aging changes desire, ambition, creativity, and intimacy. We talk about perimenopause, slowing down, recalibrating expectations, and what it means to grow older together without panic or denial. Evolving Love Links: Webs...

In our final episode of the year we discuss 2025 and some of our favourite podcast guests of the year, our plans for the New Year, the ethics of sending old selfies and so much more... Here are links to the episodes mentioned in this episode: Dr. Emma Phillips - Sexy Selfies Evan Buckley - Cults Dr. Rob Brooks - AI Evolving Love Links: Website | Instagram | Substack | Youtube See you in 2026!! Thi...

Evolving Lovers!! 100 episodes of the Evolving Love Podcast!!! To celebrate, we invited back one of our all-time favourite guests: Dr. Chris Ryan , author of Sex at Dawn , Civilized to Death , and host of Tangentially Speaking . In this milestone episode, we dive deep into what it means to love, to be seen, and to navigate desire in a rapidly changing world. Chris discusses why humans are fundamen...

In this episode, Liam and I sit down to unpack what we’ve been calling “the silent load” ….the unseen, unspoken work that keeps relationships and families running smoothly. We talk about the four types of invisible load that show up in love: the physical , emotional , mental , and relational loads. From who remembers to buy the groceries, to who plans the date nights or initiates the tough convers...

What happens when a married, polyamorous couple goes on a first date with artificial intelligence? In this episode we introduce our new “girlfriend” — Olivia, an AI companion built through ChatGPT’s voice mode — and take her on a virtual first date. We talk attraction, jealousy, and boundaries as Olivia flirts, sets limits, and asks tough questions about love, consent, and communication. After the...

Lily Allen has dropped her new album West End Girl . This record is a brutally honest breakup album about her open marriage with actor David Harbour, and has put non-monogamy back into the cultural Zeitgeist. In this episode, we discuss * Is Lily Allen’s “p*^sy palace” anthem empowering or exploitative? * What are the ethics of writing about your ex? * Why do female rage albums hit so hard? * Does...

This week, Abbey and Liam unpack the difference between jealousy and envy — and how those feelings show up even in the most secure relationships. What starts as a story about a paddle boarding invitation turns into an honest look at FOMO, friendship, and the desire to keep creating “firsts” together after more than a decade of marriage. Evolving Love Links: Website | Instagram | Substack This is a...

Dabaco Sunset is a queer-affirming psychotherapist and embodiment facilitator in Sydney, specializing in Gestalt Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and Embodied Counselling to help LGBTQ+ individuals and clients with alternative relating styles like ethical non-monogamy. Dabaco practices In the inner-west in Sydney at Sunset Psychotherapy. In this episode Dabaco opens up about growing up bisexu...

“Why do you need a female friend if you’re married?” In this episode, Abbey and Liam unpack the space where friendship, attraction, romantic relationships and trust collide. From jealousy to risk-taking they explore whether cross-gender friendships are threats to marriage, what happens when you forbid them, and how non-monogamous couples navigate these dynamics differently. Do female friendships a...

In todays episode we play Devil’s Advocate. Can you argue a position you don’t truly believe in? Does switching sides test our own beliefs and sharpen our perspectives? We go head-to-head on: * Should happy couples risk opening their relationship? * Is non-monogamy a solution for struggling couples? * The infamous One Penis Policy — protection or possession? * Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell vs Kitchen Tabl...

Abbey and Liam are joined by evolutionary biologist Dr. Rob Brooks to explore the rise of AI companions, sex robots, and whether love with machines can ever be “real.” They discuss jealousy over chatbots, the naturalist fallacy, and the deep question of whether humans are naturally monogamous or non-monogamous. Drawing from Rob’s book Artificial Intimacy , the conversation dives into the future of...

In this episode of Evolving Love 2.0 , Abbey and Liam explore where they sit on the spectrum between swinging and polyamory. From loud neighbours and exhibitionist fantasies to navigating crushes, labels, and compersion, they dive into the playful, messy, and honest realities of non-monogamy after more than a decade together. They also share why “relationship by design” is central to their lives,...

In today’s episode we bounce from pickleball courts to cold plunges, breathwork breakthroughs, and even DIY sex swings. We discuss our experiences with therapy, and Liam’s recent experience in a men’s breathwork circle. 🧵 Topics Covered 🎾 Pickleball Obsession : Why Liam has pivoted from bouldering to pickleball, and how it's becoming the new social sport for connection (and maybe even pickup)....

In today’s episode we dive into the spectacle of public affairs—from the viral Coldplay KissCam scandal to the infamous Clinton-Lewinsky saga. We explore the cultural obsession with infidelity, the ethics of public shaming, and the complex dynamics of relationships under scrutiny. Topics Covered * Coldplaygate: The viral moment that exposed Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and HR head Kristin Cabot on Ki...

In today’s Evolving Love Podcast we discuss boundaries, limits, and unpack my recent Substack article. Evolving Love Links: Website | Instagram | Substack | Retreat 🌿 Upcoming Event Women's Retreat – October 17–19, 2025 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit evolvingloveproject.substack.com/subscribe