Downsizing

Yo I'm straight up going to start a boba asmr tik tok Outro Song: The Wheels on the Bus - Noodle and Pals Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Gonna go watch a movie named after me (Jackass lol). Outro song: Testosterone - Bush Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Update:  The crunch wraps were pretty tight (yeah I made two) Outro song: Gordon Ramsay Remix - TWH Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Thinking about becoming a hentai model for the meme. Outro Song: Tokyo Drift - Teriyaki Boys Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I think I'm going to create a tiktok account where I do all of the dances and the cute little trends, but the audio is just me unleashing a blood curdling scream for the entire video. Outro song: Sharp Darts - The Streets Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Literally doing the dishes as I post this because I'm straight up down to earth. Outro song: The Dumb Song - Dale Watson Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to become the Magnus Carlsen of Tetris. Outro song: Korobeiniki Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Answering some questions that certainly were directed at me. Outro song: Like A Surgeon - Weird Al Yankovic Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm the dumbest person you know and I'm making great points. Outro song: Livin' Fat - Fat Joe Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Might just fuck around and take real good care of myself. Outro song: Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Usually a deja vu is a glitch in the matrix; it means they changed something.  In this case though, it's all because I changed nothing. Outro song: Eye of the Tiger - Survivor Podcast art by Joey Rizk

News flash, buddy, this episode was removed for copyright reasons and had to be reuploaded in April of 2025. Unfortunately it was removed long before then, but then again I am a flawed man. Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I think if this was a video podcast it would literally kill me. Outro - My Dumbass Podcast art by Joey Rizk

This one's a doozy. Outro song: Time and Eric Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Might want to give this one a listen all the way to the end fellas. Outro Song: Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm just going to replace my entire diet with supplements and see how long I make it. Outro song:  Soda Pop - Britney Spears Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Can I get workers comp working remotely if I throw my back out in my living room during work hours? Outro song: POWER by B.A.P. Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to mold chakra until I can finally use lose-weight-no-jutsu. Outro song: One Piece Rap - Freshco Podcast art by Joey Rizk

If I say everything that isn't funny, the only things left to say will be funny. Outro song: I Am Very Glad, as I'm Finally Returning Back Home - Eduard Khil Podcast art by Joey Rizk

They make paper towels, but why not towel paper?  Why do I save all my good jokes for the episode description? Outro song: Meow Mix Theme Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm going to mix pre-workout with melatonin so I can finally win fights in my dreams. Outro song: It's Been Awhile - Staind Podcast art by Joey Rizk

Can't tell you how gutted I am about the fact that I only thought to make a joke about the V standing for "void cheque" after I finished recording. Outro song: Butter - BTS Podcast art by Joey Rizk

"I've got some good ideas for some tik toks" said the guy far too close to his thirties to be on tik tok Outro song: A Distinctive Sound - Gotye Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'd run for office if it wasn't for the fact that I put all of this blackmail material on one place. Outro song: Last Resort - Papa Roach X Jeris Johnson Podcast art by Joey Rizk

I'm just going to bulk for my entire life and deadlift 900 pounds when I'm 100. Outro song: Wacky Dust - Ella Fitzgerald Podcast art by Joey Rizk