DIORBECCA's Thoughts

... it's for the same reason that a new Bank, Job or Housing application needs a background check. 😁

Every great communication has a clear speaker and an attentive listener. I was a guest this time around...HOW DID I DO? 😆

Sometimes, we only see ourselves in parts and not the entirety. So it's easier to fault others for the things we're responsible for.

How you met, where you met, when you met shouldn't define how your relationship or Marriage will be. The most important part of a relationship or marriage will depend on the kind of person that you and your partner are, and what goals you've jointly created and strive to accomplish.

The happiest, most long-lasting couples are best friends: They enjoy each other's company, rely on one another for emotional support, spend their leisure time together, and share many things in common.

You can be with anyone you want to be with during the dating phase. The least you could do is give it a shot and see where things take you. You will learn a lot and may go through pain and heart break. But it is worth a try.

It's not as expensive as you were made to believe. Ask professionals about what opportunities are available to you. YOU CAN DO IT.

When we get married, we vow to be with that person forever, through sickness and health. We can imagine cancer, some debilitating disease, or life threatening illness. But what if the sickness is a personality disorder or mental illness? Do you still continue to stay? What if their disorder causes them to be abusive, neglectful, or cruel to you or your children? What happens to your vows then?

Some of us are still "emotionally" present in our past and only "physically" present in real time. It's understandable to want to keep alive the memory of a former spouse that passed away, but for a former living ex, what is the motive for tagging them your soulmate? Maybe if we're all in into our present spouses, we could see that they too could be our soulmate.

From the moment a relationship becomes exclusive, or even before this point, many women treat their boyfriends like they are their husbands. Unless there is a ring on your finger, you should never treat your boyfriend as if he is your husband!

Most women would leave you emotionally before they begin to cheat. Affairs are typically more than sexual, and I don't think women are doing it because they want to have more sex. I also don't think they mind if they get it along the way. It is not really about sex per se as much as the experience of BEING with somebody who shows them more affection. People have affairs because they are looking fo...

Treat her the way you wish to be treated. Value and Respect her, then watch her build an empire with you. Culture and peer pressure will not take you far in a relationship or marriage. Honoring your vows to her will give you a happy and peaceful life. If you want her to treat you like a king, you must first make her feel like a queen.

This episode is about CHEATING ONLY. Not all other domestic problems. "If a man only cheats and can buy me private plane and island, i will take a private trip to go and cry expensive tears". But CHEATING in addition to all other forms of abuse is not a relationship/marriage worth saving.

FORGIVENESS DOESN'T EXCUSE THEIR BEHAVIOR. FORGIVENESS PREVENTS THEIR BEHAVIOR FROM DESTROYING YOUR HEART. 2 things make Forgiveness hard. The kind of people that hurt you and the kind of memory you have (long-term memory saves all the painful details). People often listen to respond to you, but never listen to understand you, so it'll be difficult to get their apology or grant you forgiveness. Af...

It seems we have been conditioned to hide the way we feel from the outside world for many reasons. However, if can you open up to the people who relentlessly care to ask you how you really feel, they might just be able to help you feel better, or we can just tell them how you wish to be supported in your silence.

It's also not about testing your partner's  love for you or doing something in order to analyze their  reaction. These type of "tests" may actually be manipulative and they can lead to toxicity in your relationship over time.

The way we often carefully select a job, a house or process a business proposal should be the exact way we search for and acquire peace. You need to validate yourself FIRST before anyone else can validate you. You must prioritize your happiness, peace and sanity above everything else. Do not seek approval of anyone to start anything. Just do it because it's for you and YOU'RE AMAZINGLY ALL THAT!

.... Often times, women put themselves in situations they can't get themselves out of, for the sake of dating. Dating is not marriage, hence it needs to be handled with a lot of caution to avoid long term suffering. We make messiahs out of men that might not stay in our lives permanently, and when they leave... IT REALLY HURTS.

Look at your filled out relationship application form. Do you like what it says? Or wait, you don't have a form? Please get one.

Soulmates don't drop out of the sky. They are people that had always been with you since the beginning, you just missed the signs.

If you think your partner is mature enough to handle such details, do it at your own risk. If you are unsure, it is not advisable to divulge information that does not grow your Relationship. " What you don't know can't kill you.

What kind of person are you building your life with? Here, i discussed some fractions to how to prevent an abusive spouse.

Decided to feature an old friend because i was excited, not only to have being able to reconnect with him but also to hear from a male (his experience with cheating). **There are two sides to every story**

Learn about yourselves. Improve communication skills and Forgive each other.

For love to last and blossom in a marriage, it requires a lot of work, just like a rose garden.