Cults I'd Join

We're BACK and it's Ameran's turn to teach Jesse a thing or two! This week we'll need you to grab your best matching group tee, your inexplicably decorated wooden paddle, and of course, an irresponsible amount of alcohol. Oh, and bring a few candles and a working lighter, in case we need to perform any midnight oath rituals. We have missed our weekly chats with you, and we can&...

Surprise! It's a break week for CIJ, but in this little pocket, two super awesome things happened! Cults I'd Join hit 50k downloads, and Jesse's favorite commune celebrated their 50th Land Day (they turned 50 years old)!!! So Jesse recorded a bunch of interviews about the moment while she was there, then she ran off to run around the Maypole, and here are a few of her favorite for y...

This season we're doing twice as many episodes (two on each group), so we're doing twice as many season wrap-ups as well! We're halfway through, so let's revisit our first 6 cults we'd join, and decide who has the best snacks and outfits... which one from this batch is your first pick?? Ps, CIJ will be on a two week break after this mid-season wrap up, and then we're...

Every season we join a fictional community, and this time, we're joining Gilead! Fabulous outfits? Check. Endless baked goods? Also check. Some issues that we'd call... problematic? THIS IS A BIG FAT YES. But you might know about those-- or recognize them from the dystopian parts of our real lives. See you over in Gilead, and blessed be the fruit! Sorry, we meant BRING FRUIT. It's a...

Wow. NXVIUM is such a complex and constantly surprising... wait! We're supposed to be talking about Ramtha this week! Don't worry, we are, but yet again, NXVIUM is stopping by to join the party! See you this week for class with Ramtha, where we're about to control our reality, and hopefully go home with no blindfold related head injuries! Original song and performance by Devon Sprou...

Are you tired of traditional religious structures? Would you rather piece together pseudo science and colorful mythology delivered to you by a woman named Zebra channeling an ancient warrior man named Ramtha? Well then welcome, besties! You've come to the right place! Also there is some horrifying racism and blindfolded archery. See you in class at Ramtha's School of Enlightenment! Origi...

Oh hey fellow practically-burners! We're still over here at the man, getting even deeper into the dust and and the tea... we'll bring the matches and see you there!!! Original song and performance by Devon Sproule Love Cults I'd Join? Want to join all the communal fun with us?  *Subscribe to the pod on all pod platforms! *Rate and review us on Google (please and thank you)! *Follow...

Oh hey giant man in the desert, nice to meet you... oh my! You're on fire! And everyone is dancing around you and they're spinning fire! And there are so many hula-hoops! And why are giant sculptures driving toward me... oh I get it. I've joined Burning Man! Yay! Welcome, fellow burners, it's fire time!!! See ya'll on The Playa! Original song and performance by Devon Sprou...

It's the second inning of Cult-V-Cult, and we're done joining Q, and on to joining BIRDS AREN'T REAL! Are you ready to know the TRUTH about the world around you? Are you ready to join your like minded new family in spreading the REAL reality to the masses? Well we're doing that this week and it all starts with the birds. Don't be fooled, brothers and sisters, if it flies,...

Look. We don't like Q talk any more than the rest of you but that's exactly why we have to get to the bottom of this whole murky but extremely shallow pool.  Also, this is our new favorite, Cult-V-Cult, so we have to cover the Quirkiest letter in the alphabet, so that we can get to the mashup Cult who we'll be covering next week! See you in the dirty logic whirl-pool that is  the cu...

Hello and welcome to Cults I'd Join's first official cult vs. cult! It's a battle of the true believers and only one can emerge victorious! Which cult will Ameran and Jesse join? Who has the better food and/or hair? Who is the second cult in this mashup?! Stay tuned to find out, and come on in to visit our first contender... the QAnon conspiracy theorists! Grab your whiskey on the w...

D*ckroot. The Beebs. Pentecostal worship. Adultery.  DUI's. Biblical enlightenment. All this and more are waiting for you as you join us for another week at Hillsong-- they started at the bottom now they here! Original song and performance by Devon Sproule Love Cults I'd Join? Want to join all the communal fun with us?  *Subscribe to the pod on all pod platforms! *Rate and review us on G...

Okay party people!!! Put your hands up in the air and wave them all around like you just don't... no wait, wave them around like you care a LOT. Now feel free to cry. Now tithe 10% and make your peace with loving Justin Bieber, because this week we're all joining... Hillsong!!! The Australian mega-church that took the US hipster scene by storm! Come for the modern music, stay for the old...

We are so glad you've found your NEED for your one and only Twin Flame! That's the first step. You're doing great. All you have to do now, is give up the rest of your money, acknowledge Jeff and Megan as Gods, possibly change your ACTUAL genitals, or at least LOOK like you're heteronormative, and bing-bang-boom! All your problems are answered! The upside? Twin Flames also enfor...

Oh, you thought you were going along just living your best life... BUT YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU HAVE A TWIN FLAME and NOTHING CAN WORK OUT IN LIFE WITHOUT THEM! Also, only two people can find your twin flame, neither of those are you, and these people are gonna need a LOT of your money. It all makes sense don't think about it just get a new credit card also they might cure cancer.  If th...

Happy solitude season, everyone! It's been a long lonely winter and we have MISSED you! Cults I'd Join will be kicking off Season four NEXT WEEK, but this week, we thought we'd gift you an appetizer with a little gift from our Patreon. Ya'll. We'd like to remind everyone that we were covering Love Has Won before it was cool. Still, nobody does documentaries better than Max...

Can you even??? Season 3 is wrapping up, and we're talking all things culty from the last 12 episodes. Which was the best? Which was the worst? Who had the best clothes? Has Ameran already joined the Essenes? Is there ANY group Jesse won't join (YES, but WHO)?!?  You can find all those answers and more right here in episode 13, but the biggest gift would be YA'LL telling us YOUR ans...

We saved this one for last because The Farm is a dreamy dreamscape for dreamers (and yuppies), and we can't wait to stroll down First Street, Second Street, and so on, with YOU! If you don't already know The Farm, get over here and soak up all its loveliness with us. If you do already know The Farm, sit down while we spill the tea and go over the mountainous roller coaster that is its hi...

This one is a two-parter because... we'd love to give you a good reason, but it's because our hosting platform just stopped recording mid-episode, so parts one and two are unceremoniously stopped and started. Listen. People who join cults as their favorite hobby are often not also people who are great at tech stuff—so please enjoy The Farm, Episode 2, the janky but just as good partner t...

Surprise, you guys! It's New Year's Eve and the wrap-up to our first year as a new podcast. Thanks to all of you new friends, we're rounding out our first year with 26k downloads and in the top 25% of podcasts overall—imagine if we learned how to advertise!!! We are LOVING the discussions we get to have with you online, we are loving the community y'all are creating and we are...

Elohim City has been called the most dangerous compound in America. It's been called God's word in boot leather, a low-rent trailer park, and the underground railroad for right-wing extremists. Cults I'd Join calls them people we no longer see at Thanksgiving.  Original song and performance by Devon Sproule Love Cults I'd Join? Want to join all the communal fun with us?  *Subsc...

Well everyone, Ameran and Jesse have found their cult, and you can find us hanging with the Essenes in... Portland? Austin? The desert? That's right, a mystic religion that lived and disappeared in a brief window alongside Jesus (yes, THE Jesus), seems to have new converts and new leaders all over the place. We can't put a finger on who's got the best line to God, but we CAN tell yo...

Ever think to yourself... "I'd love to join a high control cultish group, but I'd ALSO love to develop an eating disorder, and also encourage that in others..."? And after that, did you ever think "More specifically, I'd like that group to also be super snooty, dress like we're all in late 1990's Glamour Shots, and occasionally be at least associated with mu...

No spoiler alert needed on this one, we all know how it ends. But do we all know how it begins? How things went in the middle, or even how a tragedy like this unfurled its road? Today we're talking about the Branch Davidians—before, during, and after David Koresh. And yes, its members give us plenty of humanity and even some great levity—our favorite is definitely the good old-fashioned corps...

It's another phat-bottom girl y'all, and this time... she's wearing exploitative leggings! Follow along as Ameran takes us on another journey through MLM land. They've got drama, they've got victimizing marginalized people, they've got rotting pants with questionable pattern mixing, and yet again, they've got Mormons (#notallmormons)! Put on your stretchiest pant...