Crazy for Swayze

Secular dancing is the devil's foreplay in this week's installment of "Cock-blocked by Our Heavenly Daddy"

LOVE AND WAR. George and Orry meet their respective presidents. The Mains try their hands at spycraft. Blood brothers spot each other on opposite sides of the war. Everyone gets a wardobe upgrade. The Battle of Bull Run interrupts what would have been a nice day for a picnic.

What year was Vatican II? What year(s) was the Korean War? Why is the Army a Christian Missionary force? Bison tones and backronyms for a ska band called "M.A.S.H."

A monochromatic "artist" cons a hollywood exec into killing her loser boyfriend (Daredevil's Kingpin) and being her sugar daddy. Antics ensue. A surprisingly Swayze FILM from the Criterion Collection. It's only missing one thing.....

Swaye fights his brother, C. Thomas Howell, for the love of the original Scream Queen. Explosions, nipples, and just trying to have a nice breakfast at this week's DEMOLITION DERBY

Dana Carvey did 9/11 and The Masked Singer is an inside job

And they were just trying to have a nice dinner!

How and why do jockstraps work?

MORALLY BANKRUPT

Happy Valentine's Day! Patrick Swayze solves his own murder and becomes a poltergeist in the process. Big David Lynch and Sixth Sense vibes. We do Bruce Willis impressions and stan for Train Ghost

More exposition! More explosions! More trigger warnings! No war! Will Swayze reject slavery? Will Ashton find a partner who appreciates her talents? Will Meredith ever be free? This, AND MORE, on this week's installment of CIVIL WAR: PATRICK SWAYZE

Scuzzy Swayze seduces Mrs. Mr. Bean and winds up getting murdered for peeping. We had ONE rule....

Get ready to learn about post-Soviet Russian politics - it's spy time! In this 2-part TV movie based on the Fredrick Forsyth novel of the same name, Swayze plays an ex-CIA operative hired to get to the bottom of a bioterrorism plot. Mix in a Vladimir Putin stand-in, a Russian presidential election, and an estranged daughter, and you've got a regular Mission: Impossible. Aided by Basil Exposition a...

Swayze plays third fiddle to John Ritter's somehow more-reprehensible take on the Bad News Bears. We recommend a few better films. Y'all ever seen 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter?

Strap in and choose your side (there's only one right answer) - it's time to Civil War! [TW: Sexual Assault, Human Slavery, Graphic Violence] Prepare yourself for some horrific material where we emphatically suggest Parental Guidance for both the source material and this podcast. George & Orry (representing the the titular North & South) struggle with the evils of slavery, nepotism, and getting la...

Start the new year out right and prepare for the craziest and the Swayzest film thus far. Rock, Paper, Scissors : Punch, Kick, Gun : Bolt Cutters, Chicken Wire, Beer Bottles. Swayze is The Cooler, your humble hosts play a drinking game, and you - Dear Listener - decide which of us is dumber.

Merry Chris Katanmas! Swayze and three kids wander around an enormous mall while encountering different versions of Santa and mostly failing to shop. Tim Curry is in this movie! Is this the Most Christmas movie of all time?

CRASH-WATCH. Swayze plays Rad Dad in a movie full of horny teens just trying to have a good time

Were dragons in the Bible? Where do saints come from? Did this movie steal its plot from Shrek? These questions and more, ignored, on this week's installment of "We Watch It So You Don't Have To!"

Bust out your roller skates and call your favorite wizard/DJ - it's time to SKATE-FIGHT: The Masked Skater VS Swayze

Color Month concludes with the Most American Film of All Time! Swayze leads a gang of child soldiers against an imagined Communist threat. We we wonder how grenades work

Who is America? What are explosions? Why are omens? What's up with Meat Loaf? These questions and more, answered! Color month continues

Color month continues! Imperialism is bad. Art is good. Why is war? What is minimum wage? In this refugees' tale from the "Forgotten War," Swayze acts the part he was born to play: America

Ray Liotta, Eddie Redmayne, Forest Whitaker, and Jessica Biel Crash into each other. Two of them have sacks of cash, and two of them are poor. One of them dies, and one of them wants to die. We have no idea the workings of strip clubs or color theory.

Patrick Swayze plays the most disgusting villain of his career. When does a multi-level marketing scheme become a cult? Where did that jet turbine come from? Why was this movie so influential to us? We search for meaning and answers in Baby's First Art Film