Cold Brew Got Me Like

Naming a high school football team "The Smoke Shops." Jacques Cousteau - cold brew icon. Kratom! Throwing stars! ALSO: The asshole who discovered the Titanic, Eddie Vedder, and the new Can Do Cold Brew commercial. PLUS: A new episode of Cold Brew Got Me Listening™ is up on the Patreon, and a song of the week from Billy Joel!!! Billy Joel - "The Downeaster Alexa": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV...

How to name a taco shop. Nashville will soon be 100% stadiums. The Kennedys were a boy band. F*ck smoothies! ALSO: Jewel's poetry, Nick Nolte, a new Can Do Cold Brew ad, and the latest Advice King!!! PLUS: A song of the week from De La Soul!!! De La Soul - "The Future": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hi8LuGJ1f84 CBGML Patreon: Patreon.com/chriscrofton Can Do Cold Brew: Candocoldbrew.com

A classic episode! The return of the honey gatherers! Jan Hammer, toxic ice sculptor. Can Do Cold Brew - for a day in the park™. Drink cold brew and paint the sh*t outta some watercolors. ALSO: Artificial intelligence has barely left the gate, and has already gone mad. Meet our new overlord - the Bing chatbot. PLUS: An amazing song of the week from Warren Zevon!!! Warren Zevon - "The French Inhale...

Q: What do Ian Astbury, Neil Young, seasonal depression, The Living Theater, and sealing Rick Rubin's front door shut have in common?? A: Cold Brew Got Me Like - Episode 87. ALSO: Chris reads the new Advice King! The new Can Do Cold Brew advertisement! PLUS: Song of the week from The Cult!!! The Cult - "Electric Ocean": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_A48u5mMBHw Chris Crofton Patreon: https://www...

Nashville Mayor John Cooper scams the elderly! Chris considers running for mayor because he never scams the elderly! James Cameron's wife put a bag of ammunition on a campfire. ALSO: The Chinese spy balloon is a hot water bottle that escaped from a strongman competition. PLUS: Another stunning "Can Do Cold Brew" ad, and a song of the week from Lionel Richie!!!! Lionel Richie - "Say You, Say Me": h...

The boys go back in time to 1985!! Chris was 16, and drove a 1973 Plymouth Duster to school. In related news, some guy whose dad owned a car dealership runs Tennessee. An epic "Can Do Cold Brew" commercial. ALSO: The New Advice King!!!! PLUS: A long-ass song of the week from Cat Stevens!!!! Cat Stevens - "Foreigner Suite": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKP3gA9l-U4 Can Do Cold Brew: Candocoldbrew...

Chris is all by himself talking about "When Doves Cry." He adds lyrics to "Also sprach Zarathustra." ALSO: A youtube show where some guy films rusty car wrecks and sniffs a lot. Remembering David Crosby. Hilaria Baldwin's accent. PLUS: Songs of the week from "Black Midi" and "Sebadoh"!!!!

Chris and Greg's mom is caught on tape revealing that Tucker Carlson "wears a wig." A dusty wig. And Chris reminds everyone Matthew McConaughey used to be bald. ALSO: "Glass Onion" is like that U2 album that got put on everyone's iTunes. Glass Onion is a pretentious "Cannonball Run." Billionaires can't be satirized, because they are already an unfunny joke. PLUS: The new Advice King column, and a...

1982. Bartles and Jaymes and Godley & Creme. Chris thinks the name of the band that sings "Wagon Wheel" is Antiques Roadshow. ALSO: Hardscaping! Spurgeon Settings! The New Advice King! PLUS: Song of the week - the Chris Crofton and the Alcohol Stuntband song "The Sheik"!!! The Alcohol Stuntband - "The Sheik": https://www.dropbox.com/s/wowb3es39hq9v6g/11%20The%20Sheik.mp3?dl=0

It's Chris all by himself! Bob Dylan thinks current music sounds "defective." Carlos Santana wants an all-Billie Jean King TV network. ALSO: Christmas in July, July 4th in December and a blistering takedown of daylight savings time. PLUS: The new Advice King and a song of the week from Stakker Humanoid!!! Bob Dylan and Carlos Santana: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAR7M5Zyra4 Stakker Humanoid -...

Chris and Greg remember defunct Nashville hot spot Smeraldo's! Chris has a bloodhound named Cold Brew that hunts celebrity memorabilia. ALSO: Regional sex positions! Our new sponsor "Can Do Cold Brew" takes effect! PLUS: John Denver drank amaretto, and 2 songs of the week!! John Denver - "Dancing with The Mountains": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ISCtadfBP8 John Denver - "Prisoners": https://ww...

The far-right are carnies. The sideshow have replaced the regular show. Economic insecurity breeds contempt. ALSO: R. Richard's "Grasshopper Winter." What happened to ISIS? Chris talks about a very strange job. PLUS: Song(s) of the week by Bon Jovi!!!!! Bon Jovi - "Runaway": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s86K-p089R8 Bon Jovi - "Breakout": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHpGHTXCYZk CBGMListening...

Chris and Greg decide to run a cold brew pipeline from Nashville to Madison. They're gonna run it through rich neighborhoods on purpose. A discussion of urban renewal and racism follows. ALSO: Volcanoes full of Bird scooters, Chris reads an Advice King Classic™ and a LONG story about The Associated Press. PLUS: The song of the week from Jenny O!!!! Jenny O - "Solitary Girl": https://www.youtube.co...

Nashville, TN, is a food desert, so Chris and Greg are going to open a terrible-yet-favorably-reviewed cheesesteak restaurant. ALSO: Adam Driver gets tricked into doing a Yves Saint Laurent commercial with a goat. PLUS: Gas pump cliffhangers, the latest Advice King column, and a song of the week from Caitlin Rose!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEm73-p4nxU YOU CAN FIND CHRIS CROFTON'S PATREON:...

In Madison, TN, cold brew coffee is CORRECTLY regarded with suspicion. Greg advocates for humility. Chris recommends the podcast "Death of an Artist." ALSO: Punk rock panic attacks, unlocked garment bags, and jerks talking about "points." PLUS: Song of the week by The Sound!!! The Sound - "Counting the Days": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npMB_k16VaE "Death of An Artist": https://www.pushkin.fm/...

FIRST: Due to technical difficulties, Greg's microphone sounds like a ham radio. SECOND: The world's worst coffee reviewer brags about owning a suede painting. Chris tries to re-calibrate his targeted ads. ALSO: Frightening old coffee commercials, Bono's offshore accounts, and Boomers exaggerating how much adversity they've overcome. PLUS: Song of the week by Judee Sill!!!! Judee Sill - "The Kiss"...

Tangerine Dream: soundtrack to a smoother, sexier - false - future. This ersatz future led to pretentious dirty talk, and terrible voting habits. If you wait on a billionaire and they don't tip you AT LEAST $5000, they are slime. ALSO: Elon Musk's live-in diving board repairman gets fired. PLUS: Chris announces a new podcast: COLD BREW GOT ME LISTENING, and a song of the week by Carly Simon!!!!!!...

Cold brew around the world! Steven Tyler scats in his sleep, so his wife sleeps on the roof. Long hair is a mind control device. Elon Musk still sucks. Bob Dylan's interview answers rule. ALSO: A 2008 popsicle giveaway drove Chris insane for three years. PLUS: Song of the week by Nirvana!!! Nirvana - "Oh, The Guilt": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaQlkmPEdLY The Jesus Lizard - "Puss": https://ww...

70% of animals are gone. Not 17. 70. SEVEN ZERO. Recurring feature Cold Brew Ecosystem™ returns. We talk about streetcars again!!! ALSO: Dodge Ram drivers hate to hear about declining animal populations, a fresh round of Elon Musk bashing, and Chris meets Danielle Steel at The Southern Festival of Books. PLUS: Song of the week by Dion DiMucci!!!! Dion - "Your Own Backyard": https://www.youtube.com...

Chris is headed to Nashville!!! He's loading the car with worthless, easy-to-find vinyl records. A powerful argument that Jagermeister is NOT a "digestif." ALSO: Chris and Greg visit Monsanto's "Pumpkin Creamed" cold brew factory, and Chris reads the new Advice King column. PLUS: Liz Truss, libertarian moron, and a song of the week from John Denver!!! John Denver - "Spirit": https://youtu.be/GOkq-...

The Cold Brew ecosystem! The storks eat the flies, the whales eat the storks! Chris says Desmond Child co-wrote Stairway to Heaven when he was 11. Greg saw a cover band named "The C-Dock Boyz." ALSO: The internet goes down, and the cold brew wears off. PLUS: Greg says "Coffee definitely makes you wanna say stuff, AND do stuff," and a stunning song of the week from Arthur Russell!!! Arthur Russell...

"WE DON'T NEED ANY MORE RESTAURANTS!" Stoned camels get self-conscious about their humps. Greg is stunned that Chris read a book. ALSO: Getting drunk is helpful for wilderness survival, the new Advice King column, and some red-hot misinformation about salt licks. PLUS: Song of the week by Jonathan Richman!! Jonathan Richman - Closer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9KDp9yuGfQ

Greg's broadcasting from Myrtle Beach! Chris clears his throat! MI6 agents in parrot suits! Heat signatures! ALSO: Lacrosse Corner™️ PLUS: Cold brew makes Greg says "Calistoga," a youtube guy talks about pipes, and a beautiful song of the week by Chris Whitley. Chris Whitley - Mountain Side: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MSjBmmZ6TA

Cold brew makes Chris discuss potable water and public transportation. Greg has an idea for a great movie called "Toilet Inspectors" - it's a lot like Ghostbusters. ALSO: Deep Purple performances were cold brew events. The singer plays bongos! PLUS: A classic flavored coffee review from our, ahem, favorite coffee reviewer!!!

"This is when the Rasputins come out of the woodwork." -Chris ALSO: John Gotti tore up his toilet paper roll like a cat when he found out about Sammy the Bull. The direct line between decommissioned Elks Lodges and the insurrection. Modern soldiers are treated like temp workers. PLUS: The civil war will only be available at participating 7-Eleven locations, AND song of the week "Click Click" by Th...