Cold Brew Got Me Like

Cold brew causes Greg to say "bobcats will rip you ass up." Chris and Greg dive deeper into the lyrics of Robin Gibb's Italian hit "Boys Do Fall in Love." ALSO: The latest Advice King! PLUS: UPS Vikings, and song of the week from REM! REM - "Electrolite": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO73cFm0tuk&list=PLvsYXqtYjMYeZ203XrKYyWsbm7uvjivcd&index=16 Advice King - "GOP Christianity": https://www.nashv...

Chris and Greg talk about retaining walls, low-wage Grandmas delivering sandwiches, Jeff Bezos complimenting William Shatner's physique, and over-greased go-karts. ALSO: An acoustic cover of Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name Of" that's even worse than last week's. PLUS: Song of the week by Robin Gibb!!!! Robin Gibb's "Boys Do Fall in Love": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8WSSG3UzwU...

Cold brew hits the Croftons hard on this episode. Beware of sculptors! Film producers are Kansans trying to avenge their childhoods. Greg says he is married to a woman named Rhonda. Chris impersonates a jester. ALSO: The world's worst Rage Against the Machine cover, and the world's worst youtube coffee reviewer. PLUS: Song of the week by Zen Guerilla! Zen Guerilla - Pins and Needles: https://youtu...

"Any self-respecting rock n roller had a primer gray nova." Chris and Greg talk about 1980s Connecticut, Tom LePage's mixed tape, and how the mythology of America leads to isolation and loneliness. ALSO: Scorpions fans whose grandparents were born in 1880. PLUS: Greg's Guns n Roses documentary, and the song of the week from Journey!!! Greg's Guns n Roses doc: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMOdk1...

Midwesterners who move to Los Angeles consider themselves geniuses because their friends back in Wisconsin are still freezing. ALSO: Alcohol makes you crazy - the band Black Oak Arkansas is proof. We need to start asking politicians what they did last night. PLUS: Mike Lindell's disgusting coffee, and song of the week "Hot and Nasty." Black Oak Arkansas - Hot and Nasty: https://www.youtube.com/wat...

David Brooks admits he has an "intellectual lag," but continues to have a column in the New York Times. He's so annoying that he has to separated from the NYT's general population. ALSO: Greg says "The Gray Man" sucks. PLUS: Partying on dry lake beds, and the song of the week by Karen Dalton! Karen Dalton - Something on Your Mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsYHN7eCCtU

The James Webb Telescope has split Greg's wig. He says it's going to impact the "art world." Chris wonders where that world is. Greg calls the James Webb Telescope "the ultimate piece of cheese." ALSO: Chris says "wheelie" 10,000 times. PLUS: Song of the week from the Screaming Females! Screaming Females - Triumph: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0PPjH_TfUc

LEONARDO DA COLDBREW. Leonardo da Vinci was a genius, but he was a nightmare to be around. Hopped up on bark tea and frog adrenaline, inventing automobiles and arranging flowers with the same intensity. PLUS: The Supreme Court nightmare AND two songs by Grant Hart!!!! Nova Mob - Pompeii: https://youtu.be/3BgUTRwS3i8 Grant Hart -2541: https://youtu.be/GjJC5e4VpDY

It's not Iggy Pop's fault, he lived too long and discovered shrimp cocktail! 90% of 1970s rock stars died from falling out of a lighthouse. Also, whoever is buried with you in the cemetery are the only people you can hang out with for eternity. PLUS: The Sex Pistols could vomit on command and Kiss's instruments played themselves. WITH: Song of the week from The Wedding Present, a movie review from...

Hunter-gatherers were narcissists. "We're the only people who ever gathered." PLUS: Privy digging, ass-tickling chairs, disruptive bigfoot statues, Grubhub guys crying, and the song of the week by Terence Trent D'Arby!!! ALSO: Greg is building a gofundme Bigfoot, AND Elon Musk isn't going to save you, bro Animal Control Bigfoot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG3epA9jJRY Terence Trent D'Arby: htt...

The horror of guns in America. We discuss the tragedy in Texas. PLUS: Neanderthals, Ezra Pound's Greatest Hits, and a song of the week from Houston's "Teevee." Teevee "Lovedrive" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0evHdKDvqNQ

Chris and Greg engage in some REAL TALK about the gig economy, including "micro fulfillment centers" (two dudes playing cards in a doghouse full of Twizzlers). PLUS: Caffeinated scientists 3-D print a mummy's vocal cords and make it bleat like a goat. ALSO: 800 hats on a metaphorical monkey.

The stock market is a pyramid scheme, the Supreme Court is a dark money troll farm, and Eddie Vedder needs to drink less. Pearl Jam's new songs sound like a washing machine with a rock in it. ALSO: Chris still likes Pearl Jam, despite all of this. PLUS: "What Should I Bring to Antiques Roadshow?" from The Advice King Anthology, and the song of the week by Rachel Goodrich! Rachel Goodrich's "Think...

Chris is allowed behind the counter of a bookstore and he loses his mind. Steve Jobs meets Bob Dylan and asks him whether he likes pleated or flat-front pants. ALSO: How to defeat Donald Rumsfeld at squash. PLUS: Song of the day - John Denver's "The Wings That Fly Us Home" John Denver: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4BANicOw8U Greg's Action Park Article: https://www.channelnonfiction.com/?fbclid...

Chris worked as a union "concrete depositor" in 1951. He moved to Reno with a bowling bag and some pinky rings. ALSO: American Movie, Advice King mugs for sale, and the disturbing story of super-rich ERROL Musk - Elon's dad. PLUS: Song of the week - The Poppy Family's "Which Way You Going Billy?" The Poppy Family! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNducWOlkec

EPISODE 50!!!! Holy sh*t!!!! Uhhhh...we didn't do anything special!!!! It's just Chris this week. He says the only way to get out from under "global forces" is to take a nap. ALSO: Tapas at the 9/11 Memorial, the Canuxploitation doc "Being Different," and how to write a will. PLUS: Song of the day by Sebadoh!!! Link(s) below. Being Different: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWb9XxcHNZY&t=4322s Seb...

Are beanie babies "manga"?? ALSO: The man on the plane who got mad at a baby, the latest Advice King column, and telling people that you just quit drinking in job interviews. PLUS: When everyone in the music business was named "Frankie." Survivor - Popular Girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxDiybGQTvY

Cold brew makes you twice as tall!™ ALSO: If your business can't withstand unionization, then your business isn't a business. "Imagine how f*cking fast Amazon could deliver stuff if child labor wasn't illegal!" PLUS: A fox that lived out everyone's fantasy - biting a politician. Advice King: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZHbM4z4vzM Rabid Beaver: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTPMkey2HH8&t=182...

COLD BREW GOT ME LIKE is the first and only podcast to discuss the Oscar slap! ALSO: Chris talks about a time he had a "brain wipe" on The Daily Zeitgeist, and then has one. PLUS: How to write an X-Men script, trying to eat dinner during the movie "The Lighthouse," and a John Phillips song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9D39YvR3fs&t=4s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGUDpZLLO08

The Loudon Wainwright III appreciation episode!!! Surviving Twin!!! ALSO: Cold Brew in the News - Chris Martin is forced to get a hair weave by his manager Rudy. PLUS: Chris reads an excerpt from "The Advice King Anthology." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Is9ilmbczi8 https://www.vanderbiltuniversitypress.com/9780826504630/the-advice-king-anthology/

Greg's ski trip! Greg describes the band that played at the lodge as being like "a racy John Fogerty." Chris accidentally calls a mountain a "website." PLUS: Win an Advice King t-shirt by guessing the name of a real ski bum! ALSO: That guy who says he lost his virginity to an alien, and Steven Adler's friend "Weasel."

Greg is on vacation, so Chris talks to himself!! FEATURING: Charles Dickens' granddaughter Monica inventing the Goldendoodle, the new Advice King, bucket lists, abandoned mines, and The Garden of Allah hotel. PLUS: The Wall Street Journal gets in touch with Chris, and he thinks it's his big break. It is most certainly not.

It's Mom's Birthday!!! Mom likes Monster Magnet!!! Chris's bathroom renovation update!! ALSO: Going to college with Tucker Carlson. PLUS: Fugazi's eight-hour rehearsals, Jay Sebring convincing Clint Eastwood to use conditioner, and Tex Watson joins Rick James's band. Fugazi at The Trocadero (me and Greg were there): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO-l5OsxMqU Jay Sebring Hair Styling Lesson: https...

COLD BREW GOT Chris and Greg talking about the Mariana Trench, Fleetwood Mac holograms, and SOCIETY. Chris accidentally calls General Patton "James Patterson" - James Patterson is the guy who filmed Bigfoot at Bluff Creek in 1967. Greg tells a fun story about a hungry bear, and Chris uses it as a segue into a nightmarish story about their dad.

Chris is crabby again. Chris complains about everything from the modern world's lack of "village elders" to Dua Lipa. PLUS: Chris and Greg celebrate the fact that "Cold Brew Got Me Like" is the #21 comedy podcast in Poland!!!