Change My Relationship

Sex in your dysfunctional, painful, toxic marriage is impacted by the problems. Sexual dissatisfaction is high when you have anger, hurt, and rejection and many unresolved problems. You don't feel like being intimate with a person who causes you pain and doesn't care. Christian marriage advice often tells you to have more sex because your body belongs to your husband. Yet, doing that only makes yo...

In Christian codependency, we believe we are doing the right thing to stay in toxic relationships, whether with our spouse, partner, friend, or family. We believe we are supposed to sacrifice, give, tolerate, overlook, and forgive. Two become one in marriage. The church is our family. We honor our parents. We respect our elders. These along with the dynamics in toxic relationships, often result in...

Trying to convince people of your truth can lead you to talk too much, push too hard, over-react, and waste your time and energy. You might be surprised to know that it isn't your job to convince them.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://y...

The last straw in the relationship is the thing that appears to cause it to end. It leaves people questioning themselves and rehearsing things over and over to figure out how it could have gone differently. The truth is that it isn't really the cause. It is usually something else. Find out what it is. #finalstraw #dysfunctionalrelationship    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook...

Should you tell your church about your relationship problems? This is an important decision because many church pastors, elders, leaders, and members don't understand toxic relationships, complicated, dysfunctional relationship problems, and emotional abuse.  They may not believe that Christians should have boundaries, and you may end up suffering double abuse, where you are discounted and invalid...

People manipulate you by creating fear in you. Knowing what you are afraid of shows them ways to get you to do what they want. Watch this video to learn how you can refuse to be manipulated by fear.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://yout...

Raising children in dysfunctional families is difficult because you know they are being impacted by the chaos. You can't make everything okay for them, but you can help them. One of the things you can do is to teach your children to detach from the dysfunction. Detaching with love is a coping skill to help them avoid taking things personally. If you use it, you know how powerful it is. Watch this...

In toxic relationships, when people show you who they are, you need to believe them. But, we often don't. We give them the benefit of the doubt again and again. We believe their lies by gaslighting ourselves. And, we doubt that they could really be that bad. This gets us in all kinds of stressful dysfunctional relationship dynamics because they haven't changed, are who they are, and don't care how...

Heather was married to a sexually addicted gay man for twenty-four years before she divorced him. Listen to her story to discover how denial, gaslighting, rationalizing, and magical thinking can lead us to believe a lie when we could see the truth.  Sexual addiction destroys intimacy and trust. It is even more challenging to come to terms with the fact that your husband is attracted to men, and ye...

Reciprocal relationships are healthy relationships that are balanced. Unhealthy relationships are not reciprocal and not balanced. All of our relationships should be reciprocal regardless of which one it is. Some people have all unhealthy relationships and some have only one or two unhealthy relationships. Learn what you need to do to make all your relationships reciprocal.     Website: https://ww...

Not all friends last forever. Some are for a reason and a season. When a friendship is no longer working, it may require setting boundaries. When is it time to end a friendship? Watch this video to find out how to recognize the signs and how to do it. #friends #friendship #settingboundaries #christianboundaries    Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ch...

Are you willing to lose your relationship to win it back the way it should be? When you know you cannot continue the way things are, you have to decide if you are willing to lose that relationship. When you let the old one go, you may get a new one in its place. #dysfunctionalrelationship #toxicrelationship #selfcare     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook...

Setting boundaries involves deciding what and where you give your time, energy, emotions, and resources to. There are conflicting priorities, pressures, and people to consider. We often forget to include our own needs, especially when we are dealing with dysfunctional relationship dynamics. One of the helpful things to remember when setting boundaries is that when you say yes to anything or anyone...

You pick up the pieces. You cover up the lies. You pay the bills. You bail them out. You make excuses. It feels like you are doing what you have to do, but what you are doing is giving them the ability to continue making bad choices. Instead, stop enabling: Let them fail. It isn't easy. It's a big change and a new behavior, but it is necessary. You have to let them fail if you want them to learn....

This is a much needed follow up to my video on father wounds offering you the steps you need to take to heal them. The original video gave you the effects of father wounds in a girl's life but this one explains how both men and women can heal their father wounds. #fatherwounds #healingtrauma     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship...

As a Christian in a dysfunctional relationship, you are dealing with problems that need God's help. You have faith that things will get better but oftentimes that faith is nothing more than magical thinking that leads you to make poor decisions. Watch this video to find out the difference of faith vs. magical thinking. #FaithBasedThinking #MagicalThinking #BetterDecisionMaking #Faith      Website:...

Barbara Grant joins Karla to share her personal experience in a neurodiverse marriage. They discuss typical struggles couples have that lead to disconnection and stress. Barbara shares practical skills she teaches couples and individuals that help improve their interactions.     Barbara Grant is a dedicated neurodiverse couples coach with personal and professional expertise in navigating the uniqu...

In Step One of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholics admit that they are powerless over alcohol.  Some people misunderstand this to mean that they have no accountability for their drinking or anything else destructive and don't have to take any responsibility.  This isn't what is meant by powerlessness. Watch this video to learn about what powerlessness is and is not. It could help...

Spiritualizing hurts hurting people by not responding to the real needs of the person by minimizing their pain and the situation. Watch this video to understand what spiritualizing is and why it hurts. #spiritualizing #hurtingpeople #respondingtoneeds     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changem...

Abusive relationships contain many types of harmful treatment. Some overt and some covert. Some obvious and some hidden. Some are easy to identify, and some are not so easy to identify.  We know emotional abuse is harmful, but is emotional neglect abuse? This matters when you are listening to an abuse victim, when you are in a toxic relationship, when you are assessing your behavior, and when you...

Virginia shares the hearts of those who love their wounded children and the prayers that arise from their painful struggles in this podcast. She answers the hard questions: What about the person who has prayed and prayed and hasn't gotten an answer? What are you praying for when you ask God to heal? Is it instant healing or something else? Can you contend with God? Can you share your emotions with...

Toxic relationships have complicated dynamics that are hard to figure out. It isn't unusual to be confused about the specific problems you are dealing with. Emotions are intense. Conflict isn't resolved. People don't listen and seek to understand when you voice your concerns and needs.  Reactivity is high in toxic relationships. It is easy to do things you regret. One of the best things you can do...

Abusive relationships shouldn't be hard to leave, but they are. If you've been in one, you know that it is because you are emotionally and relationally entangled. You struggle with knowing what is true and question yourself because you believe the abuser's accusations that blame you for the problems.   Understanding what a trauma bond is and why it keeps you stuck will help you identify why you ar...

When setting boundaries, how do you go from chaos to clarity? If you've been in a relationship with dysfunctional dynamics, you know what it is to be confused, frustrated, overwhelmed, and uncertain. You know how you question yourself and wonder if your thoughts, feelings, actions, and perceptions are accurate.  Is it possible to go from there to a place where you are clear on what is happening an...

Detaching from accusations means knowing how to not take false accusations to heart and instead letting them go. Detaching allows you to keep your reactions under control and instead choosing how to respond. Learn how to do that by watching this video. #Detachment #KeepingControl #EmotionalControl #Acusations   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Chang...