Camp Wild Heart

It certainly isn’t the case for everyone, but for many parents, raising a transgender kiddo can feel like a pretty isolating experience. Who do I talk to about it? Where do we find more information? What supports are even available to our family? What does any of it mean?  Finding other families can be very difficult. And there are so many factors that make it difficult. Where you live is usually...

When kids come out as trans, there is often, but not always, a progression to it. It is not at all uncommon for kids–particularly adolescents–to start with coming out as gay, and then progress into a non-binary identity, and then to a re-binary identity.   But not everyone takes that route. And a lot of kids and adults discover the concept of non-binary or something similar and go, “Yes! This is m...

Dysphoria is a word that gets thrown around a lot in the trans community. Dysphoria is an intense discomfort, distress, or unease that typically has to do with one of three aspects of gender identity: physical, social, or mental. Dysphoria is NOT a qualifier for being trans. There are plenty of trans people who don’t experience dysphoria. But since it is very common, we thought it would be worth t...

Sometimes we look around, or turn on the news, and it feels like we’re just being pummeled with injustices and it can feel overwhelming. Maybe you’ve already been fighting social biases based on race, income, or ability - and now here comes this kid that you love more than life, and they’re thrusting you into a whole new world of oppression that you probably didn’t even know existed. I think that...

Showing up for our kids seems simple enough, right? Showing up means more than just your physical presence in a room. Showing up for your child is about the quality of your presence. Showing up means connection and attention–putting your phone down while your child is on the playground, taking advantage of every second of the three minutes your child engages with you about their day.  Showing up i...

You know that feeling when you’re walking down the hall, or through a room of people and it feels like everyone is staring at you? And you know in those moments you almost start to stare at yourself? You become acutely aware of the way your clothes are hanging on your body, your posture, the way you’re walking, the hairstyle you chose that day–and chances are you’re not thinking about how awesome...

Gender affects us all and matters to us all.  We all have a gender story. And the societal rules about gender that are wired into us deeply affect the way we treat people. Otherwise why would it matter if you can’t tell what someone’s gender is?  Gender journeys are something that trans people think about a lot. And if you haven’t ever thought about your own, I highly encourage you to. Today Mikki...

When we’re looking at any life transition, we’re in for a bumpy ride. Even when that change is good, transitions are hard. We’re bound to have missteps and hard moments in the messy middles that most of us work really hard to avoid because of how uncomfortable they are. But there are some times, like when your child comes out and wants to transition, that those moments become unavoidable. Navigati...

Have you had those moments with your kid that have left you feeling totally confused about what the right next step is? Parenting can feel stressful and downright overwhelming. Confusing, traumatizing, joyous, disappointing, and like the best thing we’ve ever done all in a matter of moments. All those emotions have messages and they often conflict with each other. If we don’t sort through these em...

The way we talk to kids about bodies and gender is so important. When I was a kid, we didn’t really talk about gender in any particular way, but it was everywhere and it was clear what the roles were. We didn’t really talk about bodies either - other than what was wrong with them. I wanted to do things differently with my kids. I wanted them to have an inclusive upbringing and understanding that t...

  There are lots of different opinions on the best way to support trans youth.   Even among the community of affirming providers, there are lots of opinions of what should or should not happen for youth.   According to standards of care written by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), once a person is 18, they should have access to care through the informed consent mod...

  Every step along the medical journey requires some level of interaction with an insurance company.   Prior to the Affordable Care Act, most, if not all, insurance companies did not cover any gender affirming care. They saw it purely as elective and not a medical necessity, but as you are experiencing firsthand, times they are a-changin’.   And with that, so has what is and is not covered under i...

  Sometimes kids have a clear vision of what they want and need their body to look like in order to feel affirmed in their gender.   If a child doesn't know that doesn't make them not trans, it just means this stuff is confusing and they aren't sure what they need.   This is one of the main reasons we go slow.   It’s also one of the reasons we always want to be sure that you as a parent have a com...

Hormone therapy, testosterone, estrogen. I've seen these words throw so much tension and chaos into families.   In our first medical episode , we introduced endocrinology and talked mostly about puberty, suppression medication or “the pause button.” Today, we're leveling up and talking about hormone replacement therapy or HRT.   So often, a child is begging for HRT, and the parents are giving the...

On April 6, the Arkansas state legislature overrode the governor’s veto to pass the SAFE Act—Saving Adolescents From Experimentation.   The law outlaws access to gender-affirming medical care for transgender youth by labeling perfectly safe, common, and lifesaving treatment as “experimentation.”   All of us who work to support transgender children and their parents are appalled and heartbroken.  ...

  No parent wants to navigate any part of the medical system for their child beyond checkups.   Medical can be a confusing and scary journey.   Of course, we all want to do as little damage as possible to our kiddos, and many parents see medical interventions for transition as a recipe for potential damage.   There is just so much misinformation around the subject of medical. It’s no wonder parent...

  Without a doubt, the most controversial aspect of raising a transgender child comes with making medical decisions to assist with transition. As we started this podcast, the vast majority of questions I've received from listeners have been on this subject.   And I won't lie: I've been delaying it in large part because first and foremost, I wanted you to know that you're not alone in your journey...

One of the aspects of common humanity and parenting is that we are all doing the best we can and trying to inflict the least amount of damage possible on our kids.   Some days it feels like a hallmark movie and other days, an MMA pay-per-view special. And on some days, it is both. Anyone who tries to pretend it's anything different is just full of crap.   So here's what I've started reminding myse...

I know a lot of parents who, when their child first came out to them as transgender, were not surprised and celebrated their child’s ability, courage and willingness to live their life authentically.   However, I also know a lot of parents who started in a place of fear and denial about what their child was telling them. This followed with them pushing back and denying their child the ability to e...

As parents, we like to believe that we know our child better than anyone. Maybe better even than they know themselves. But do we really?   For some parents, that’s one of the hardest things about making sense of a child coming out as transgender. They didn’t see it coming. How could they have missed something so huge?   Most parents suspect something is going on—but they just don’t know what it is...

If you’re listening to this podcast, I’m guessing that you love someone who is transgender - probably your child.   And many of you might not have known during the last election, that you were parenting a transgender kid. Or maybe in the last election, the stakes didn’t seem so high.   This year, in case you didn’t have a reason to get to show up and vote, I want to make sure you know that your ch...

Today at Camp Wild Heart, we’re going to talk about everyone’s favorite topic: suicide.   Naturally, this is not a conversation that is super common which is why we feel it’s even more essential to talk about, especially as it relates to—and impacts—trans people.   The reality is that no one is protected from it—people of all walks of life and of all genders experience suicidal thoughts. However,...

Most cis-gender people have a hard time imagining what it's like to be transgender but I don't know anyone who hasn't had some experience of not being seen for who they truly are.   Maybe you know what it's like to have someone look straight through you. Maybe your voice or ideas are regularly left out of meetings. Maybe you've been on the receiving end of some absolutely terrible customer service...

There is no singular storyline that fits what it’s like when your child comes out.   Every kid is different. Every family is different.   Sometimes trans kids come out when they’re little—and sometimes they don’t.   Sometimes parents are on board from the get-go—and sometimes they aren’t.   Whether parents are on board or not, it’s crucial to get support.   No one prepares for the day their kid co...

Most kids don’t necessarily walk up to you and say, “Mom/Dad, I’m trans,” when they come out.   Most of the time, however, they show early signs that they are exploring their gender and that they don’t feel right in their body.   Some parents welcome the exploration.   Others actively try to shut it down.   Some parents shut it down without even knowing it—and when they do, they often unintentiona...