Brilliant Observations

Serruptitious OnlyFans accounts? Orthodontists Gone Wild? You'd think we'd have enough to talk about without slipping into a political sandtrap. Try as we might, we couldn't resist a little light banter on the state of affairs in America today. Don't worry, kids. We only go Blue for a brief bit. There's still lots to laugh at this week — including ourselves.  Sending love and light to all who hono...

It's the Metaphysical Manifestation meets PBJ recipes episode, gang, or as Melissa likes to say, "I OWN No." Missy deals with a sudden and alarming loss of vision. Amy riffs on the classic peanut better and jelly sandwich. And Melissa tries her luck at a rousing game of Real Person or Comic Character.   Sending love and light to all who honor us with the privilege of listening. Fuck you, Putin.  ...

The Multiverse makes an appearance at the Jersey shore, prompting us to ponder, who is real — Regular Melissa or Beach Melissa?   Amy suffers the perils of peeing while visiting the Country Club pool. Melissa enjoys the pleasures of Evening Beach, complete with no humans and three overexcited canines. And both of us discover the real filth that lingers all around us. Hint: it's not on the toilet  ...

What happens when you agree to everything? You guessed it. A whole lotta nuthin. Amy loses her voice screaming her support, praise and constructive opinions at various public facing events. Stuart flies too close to the sun — again — and feels the wrath of Missy's Birthday again.  And we both explore the realities of adults behaving badly, Sports, Sex and Politics edition.  Had enough? Not a chanc...

"Your inaction is making my daily life uncomfortable" and other divorce prompts.  Join us as we tackle life with adult ADHD, ulimited funds and the complete autonomy.  As always, Fuck Putin. Glory to Ukraine.  Glory to the Heroes.    Love this episode?  Share it with a friend via text message, social media or word of mouth. Sharing is caring, folx.   Like what you hear?  Rate us five stars on  Rat...

Happy Mother's Day, kids! Missy flies down to Floriduh to experience the warmth of her familial bonds first hand (and earns a Triple Word Score from her kids in the process). Stuart tries, again, and fails — again — to surprise anyone for Missy's birthday. Amy inspires us all with the 30 Day Orgasm Challenge, courtesy of Netflix's Sex Education. And Summer Love begins in earnest.   Ready to feel g...

Whassup, Tennessee? Nice laws you got there. We endorse!   Brian drops the goods on Amy's complete lack of accountability. Isn't he cute? Strangers routinely misgender Butters. And Missy celebrates Mallory's Most Momentous College Decision with a rousing round of Remember When.   Paging Kelly Clarkson… Amy continues her Judgmental Fashion: Celebrity Edition with a wildly anti-feminist (and totally...

Five thousand dollar blow job anyone? It's the Hamilton episode, gang, complete with tears in the theatre, inappropriate husband car talk, cotton mouth dental surgery, and an impromptu self actualization session for Amy that might just make you feel better, too. Look around, look around, how lucky we are to be alive right now! Missy comes to the defense of Leslie Odom Jr. against Amy's baseless at...

Amy returns from her ridiculously luxurious trip to Italy, complete with a Five Star Fist Fight™, accidental opiod exposure and a new interpretation of her already iconic last name. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Missy dipped her toe (see what I did there?) into feline-based identity politics only to emerge as confused as the silly little kitten who requested a litter box at school. Then, Missy tak...

Come again, my Lord? It's the Bridgerton Heavy Sighs episode, gang, replete with steamy references to that lake scene, that garden scene, that art studio scene, and that bedroom bedroom bedroom bedroom bedroom scene. Did we mention the bedroom? Missy's Puss Toe makes a reappearance. And Amy shares her anxiety over packing a bag for vacation. (Such problems.) All this, plus nontraditional sex roles...

The slap heard round the world still lingers, friends, only this time we're doing the slapping. Missy disgusts us all with tales of her swole toe. Amy plots a new plan for the Brilliant Family Passover. And Will Smith takes yet another beating. All this and more, on today's Brilliant Observations. Do doo doo doo dooooooooooo!   In a world of Putins, be a Zelensky. Praying for the day this horror i...

And suprise... and surprise. Exercise is one thing, but this is ridiculous. Peleton rolls out a new expansion plan, starting with Melissa's beach house (surprise!). If that's not enough, the Universe decides to send Missy a new outfit to go along with it (surprise surprise!). Amy struggles with fashion. And friendship. And cognitive recall, apparently. Bowling?   In a world of Putins, be a Zelensk...

It's the Judgy Parenting episode, gang, but don't worry. We're doing the judging. Amy likens her parenting style to a driverless boat speeding out of control, while Missy sees her role as slowly until her too-near death. Fun! There's also the Penis Game (is it, though?), creepy weepy lady part cookies (for Purim!) and, as usual, Missy has the last clap.    Congratulations on your nomination, Judge...

What's the best cure for a massively deserved hangover? Dirty talk, courtesy of Melissa's close encounter with a back-of-the-neck breathing Level Jumper. Check please! It's all crudity in this one, gang. Just doing our part to temporarily distract those who deserve a laugh from the horrors of daily life.  Glory to Ukraine.  Glory to the Heroes.  Love this episode?  Share it with a friend via text...

Protest caravans, normalized shoplifting, Venmo deadbeats, foot-in-mouth disease (times two!) and our favorite Ukranian sanctions. This week has something for everyone, kids. Missy and Stu close on the beach house just in time for Edgar and friends to ask them to leave. Missy embarrasses herself in at the veterinarian's office (again). And your favorite failed quiz returns with 30 seconds of Amy....

Ready for a little news-of-the-day getaway? Join us as we experience a Broadway show through a virgin's eyes, play rubber toy tug (and lose), and ponder the world's most subjective question: can a penis be too big?  Plus! Missy unveils a new listener engagement tool (bless her heart), more beach house bathroom updates, Amy welcomes a visiting child to the mic, and a must-fail auto quiz. Listen clo...

Life's a beach, kids. And then you die. Join Amy as she whips Melissa into a seafoam scented frenzy over the final weeks of her supah stressful beach house construction project. If that's not entertaining enough, we give you... the Walt Disney Resorts Retirement Community, and our personal favorite, Frozen Finnish Dick. (You're welcome.)   Love this episode?  Share it with a friend via text messag...

Looking for a little excitement? Listen in as master practitioner Amy loses her mind in ecstacy while playing a meaningless college graduates quiz. There's also a quick Oylmpics recap, a pedagogical review of the unreasonable expectations of public educators in the United States, and a ratings scale for fast food French Fries. Of course there is.   Love this episode? Share it with a friend via tex...

Phone Tree — Activate ! Mallory hits an imaginary hobo with her car, triggering an in-depth look at psychological trauma, car-on-mailbox crime, and how our families share critical information. Spoiler alert: they don't! Just to be clear, the teen is fine, the car is fine, the mailbox is fine… and the hobo is imaginary. Mother in Florida? Not fine, but really, not much we can do about that. Well, t...

Join us for another fascinating romp through the minds of overprivileged middle age. Girl Scout Cookie link coming soon!

If Brendan Frasier's body transformation isn't shocking enough for you, don't worry. The lead this week is "Jerking Off a Horse." That's right, Dear Listener. Your favorite fiesty friends are back at it with another week of classy content suitable for very few ears. Ennnnnnnn Joi.

Not gonna lie — this episode will rock your world... and not in a good way. Unfuckingbelievable.  Listen and learn, my friends. Listen. And. Learn.  Want even more Brilliant Observations? Join our newly formed email list by sending the word SERIOUSLY to BrilliantObservations@gmail.com . We promise not to sell or spam. Or to sell spam. Because that's just gross.    Join the nonsense online @ListenB...

What's more fun than realizing another year has come to a close without accomplishing any of your stated goals? Hmmm. Ooo! Forgetting to switch audio cables to your mic before you press record... and discovering it long after it's too late to do anything about it. What can I say? It's a New Year, guys. Things can only go up from here.   Want even more Brilliant Observations? Join our newly formed...