Better Sex

In this episode we talk about changing your mindset about sex and about relationships. This episode will challenge your ideas about roles in a relationship and describe a list of new rules to follow that may replace some assumptions that could be getting in your way. A previous episode described the sexual avoidance cycle (quick recap: the circle of disappointment in sex, feeling afraid which lead...

The Motivation for Come As You Are My guest today is Emily Nagoski, the acclaimed author of the best selling book, Come as You Are. As Emily relates, the motivation to write her best-selling book has a very prominent beginning. It was the first day of the semester and Emily was beginning her usual Anatomy class. A student raised her hand and asked if Emily would walk the students through the evolu...

How Dr. Beverly Whipple Started Studying Sex Dr. Whipple got her start while she was teaching nursing students. A sexual topic was broached that she didn’t have concrete answers for, and so she gave the inquisitive student a rain check. She then realized sex classes needed to be taught and that she wanted to be the one to do it. After being forbidden to teach the apparently taboo discipline, she t...

It is time for another personal story. As always, on my show, I like to shine a spotlight on important stories from people who need to tell them. These personal stories offer fresh perspectives on subjects that should be discussed, listened to, ponder over, and written about. And my guest has a story that to my knowledge has never been told before. Stephen Gregory is a teacher of Tantra, a psychot...

The True Meaning of ‘Cliteracy’ Starting with a discussion of his book, She Comes First, Ian Kerner’s coined word ‘cliteracy’ is given more thought and emphasis. Overall, the term encapsulates the aim of his bestselling book. He relays to listeners his previously one-sided mentalities towards sex, his struggles, and his overall motivations for becoming "cliterate" (clitoral literacy). By moving pa...

The Sexual Avoidance Cycle Revisited: The Dangers of ‘Sexpectations’ Today we are going to revisit the Sexual Avoidance Cycle; more specifically, we are going to talk about the Disappointment Phase of the Cycle in order to pinpoint the harmful effects of expectations. That is, what happens when we have grand visions and plans for a sexual experience, and it falls below our expectation level? As is...

Overcoming Sexual Shame In her work, Sellers places considerable emphasis on reversing sexual shame in her clients’ and readers’ minds. Growing up in a sexually-open environment, with parents who were very transparent about sexual function, health, and education, Tina learned the importance of communication over the suppression of sexual fact. And by extension, she is a vocal opponent of abstinenc...

Parenting a trans teen Pia is the mother of a transgender child (now twenty years old) who underwent a successful physical transition into his male self. Pia’s love for her kid and overall emotional resiliency shines through when she recounts the details of her child’s story. An advocate of providing a strong support system for everyone undergoing surgery or hormone therapy to transition into the...

The Guide to Getting It On: A Self-Published Phenomenon If there was ever an excuse to self-publish a book, The Guide is a great example of how successful one can be using the practice. After Paul had taken nine years to finish the first draft of what would become The Guide To Getting It On, he wasn’t met with much success as he tried to get his work into circulation. Even a North Carolinian edito...

Our Body Image: Is it Environmentally Reinforced? To start this episode, Jenny shares her fascination for the “etiology” (origin) of our body image. That is, when did we first become self-conscious about our bodies? Jenny states that she did over sixty interviews during the research stage of The Body Image Blueprint and the answer she found is fascinating. To learn of this central source, where mo...

Using the Term “Cougar” To start this episode, Suzanna talks about the negative connotations surrounding the title “cougar.” There are considerable allusions to predatory behavior when the term is brought up. Of course, Suzanna was well aware of this and after much deliberation, she decided to still include the oft-controversial “cougar” in the subtitle of her book, Revising Mrs. Robinson: Navigat...

Basics of Matchmaking School Listen in as Peggy describes her learning experience at the Matchmaking Institute of New York. What do you need to pay attention to when matchmaking? Peggy details that listening carefully during one-on-one sessions and making sure to take care of the business are essential. A Traditional Matchmaker Wondering what the role of the Traditional Matchmaker is all about? It...

The Sexual Avoidance Cycle is far more common than many would believe, and I talk about this situation, what causes it and perpetuates its continuance. I also answer the first of my listener questions during this “Soapbox” episode where I get to help you understand this important topic. The Sexual Avoidance Cycle is pretty much the basis for my new book, Sex Without Stress, and today I try to answ...

A personal story of trauma and awakening Listen to the story of Heather and her traumatic experiences which led to her transformative journey in her own life. She grew up feeling like an outsider with feelings of inadequacy. Hear Heather describe her struggles that initially presented in her young life and how these difficulties led her into risk-taking situations to fit in. An Older Boyfriend Lis...

Pornography - the good and the bad Listen to the discussion of the role of Erotica and Pornography in a relationship and the positive and negative impacts. Defining Pornography What is the definition of pornography? Listen as Steven succinctly describes pornography and erotica and the overlapping interpretations of arousing materials. Hear the use and role of sex in regularly available cultural ar...

Difficult conversations as an opportunity? Challenge as an opportunity? Listen as Lara describes the context of conflict. She discusses how the components of assumption, judgment and expectation lead to a reaction. Tune in to the Body’s Signal What is the significance of the physical reaction to an impending conflict? Hear Lara describe the mental and physical connection between emotions and confl...

Evolutionary Psychology and Sex In this episode, Rebecca tells us about Evolutionary Psychology, examining our roles and interactions through a biological and historical lens. Listen in as she compares our human proclivities to our great ape relatives. Animal Roles – Not an Excuse Our rules and culture help us to maintain our civility, but males and females still have biological roles. Hear Rebecc...

A personal story of sexual liberation In this episode, I talk to Marina, who shares her personal journey from struggles with her self-image and a painful first sexual experience, to finally feeling liberated with a happier sex life. The first time: a painful experience As a teenager, Marina tells us that she struggled with self-image and was therefore excited when, at age sixteen, a “cool kid” fro...

History of Adam & Eve, A Sex Toy Retailer Listen in as Katy discusses how Adam & Eve started out. She mentions it was just a thesis requirement to complete the founder Phil Harvey’s Master’s Degree. Being part of the hippie generation, he believed in sexual liberation. She tells us about how Phil challenged the government by publishing ads in newspapers offering condoms - intentionally con...

Becoming Cliterate Dr. Laurie shares the reason behind why she wrote her book, Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It. As a professor to over 150 students a year, she shares the influence her undergrad students had on this book. Two factors that ultimately influenced her was the massive orgasm gap in men and women, and the loss of clitoral knowledge. Listen as she tackl...

The Store: Darling Way In this episode, Beth talks about how she started and founded the Darling Way after her 22-year marriage ended with a divorce. She shares how her shop started after an awful experience buying a lingerie for herself. Her store’s concept is about embracing the fact that it’s okay to be silly, fun, and excited or just a light-hearted approach to the serious topic of sexy fun. W...

Recovering from people pleasing Today's guest is sharing her story of claiming her story, rewriting her story, figuring out which parts she wants in, and which parts no longer serve her. She says it has been a struggle to understand where her sexual power comes from and to be comfortable standing within that power. She tells the story about her conception and her parents, you know getting pregnant...

Polyamory - one version of consensual non-monogamy. There are certainly plenty of people that choose an open relationship of one sort or another. Even though they're committed to each other, but by agreement, they are non-monogamous. Often what we're referring to is people that have been committed and decide to change the arrangement and include other people in one way or another. What is polyamor...

Welcome to Better Sex. Today we are covering an important and pervasive topic. We're going to talk about female sexual pain, a woman's sexual pain. Way too many people struggle with painful conditions and most of them don't know what to do about it. Some people don't realize that sex should never hurt and other people, even though they realize sex should hurt, just have nowhere to go. The doctors...

Today’s episode features Brodie Welch, a Chinese Medicine expert who helps us to recognize that from a Chinese medicine perspective, everything is energy, and sexual energy is an important subset of our total sum of energy reserves. We cover how to apply all areas of the Chinese medicinal branches, the original body/mind/spirit medicine, into our lives and daily choices, "talking" and working with...