Behind My Curtain

Recorded in the wee hours of a 9-degree morning, from a van with the windows open this time. This one started somewhere near the question of whether you can feel your blood moving through you right now — and ended up in the ocean. I trace a memory of watching my children play in cold water without a care in the world, and the slow, inch-by-inch negotiation I had with myself to finally get in. The...

An intimate, meandering reflection on cold air, heartbeat, crow sounds, and the meaning we fill moments with. This is about getting to know the chill — not as something to conquer, but as another texture of being alive. The spoken telling is the heart of this — for an accurate, readable rendition of the audio, visit my Substack post here . If you enjoy this offering, support can be made here . ❤️...

Recorded from my van home after more than a month in borrowed spaces, this offering begins with a simple change: mosquito screens moved from the outside of the windows to the inside. From there, the practical matter of airflow, Velcro, night sounds, and open windows becomes a reflection on visibility, safety, trust, transness, and the tender feeling of being both protected and exposed. This is a l...

What happens when we stop trying to get somewhere and simply notice that we are already here? In this episode, Emma explores the living texture of the present moment: the ticking of a clock, sunlight through a window, birds outside, heartbeat under voice, and the subtle shimmer of sensation moving through the body. She reflects on full-body tingles, the sensitivity of fingertips, the hidden labour...

This one begins high above the city, with blinds closed, a window shut, and a body noticing it has slept a little more deeply. Emma follows that noticing into a wider inquiry: what makes a place home? Is home the apartment, the city, the trees, the traffic, the ocean, the moon, the body, the Earth? Through memories of noisy streets, quiet hotel rooms, west coast storms, and city mornings, she expl...

“Your now and mine, colliding, connecting, crossing. X marks the spot.” This episode wanders through the body as an instrument: vocal cords vibrating, heartbeat travelling through a phone on the chest, sound waves touching walls, windows, traffic, birds, and the unseen listener. Emma reflects on how voice localizes thought, how words both open and trap meaning, and how sound itself can become pray...

This is an improvised audio piece recorded with my phone resting on my chest, microphone near my heart. Headphones recommended. You'll hear my heartbeat, body sounds, fridge hum, story, song — and be invited to attend The Debutante’s Ball . This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit behindmycurtain.substack.com