Because I'm John Sellmeyer

Today on Because I'm John Sellmeyer, I discuss the supernatural horror movie Hokum, starring Adam Scott. As I prepare to fly to Europe to wrap up some of my own manuscript revisions, this film's terrifying take on a writer's retreat abroad hit a little too close to home. In this episode, we break down how Hokum masterfully shifts from a slow-burn mystery into a claustrophobic, mind-ben...

Welcome back to Because I'm John Sellmeyer . This week, we are ripping into the 2026 British horror film Harbinger . The premise sounds like campy gold: a notorious serial killer transfers his soul into a vintage arcade fortune-telling machine just before his death to terrorize his widow and a reality TV ghost-hunting crew. Unfortunately, the execution completely loses its grip on reality. In...

Today on Because I'm John Sellmeyer, we are packing our bags and hopping the ferry to Widow's Bay. I am joined by my wife Alondra to review the brilliant new Apple TV+ horror comedy created by Katie Dippold and directed by Hiro Murai. The series follows Mayor Tom Loftus, played by Matthew Rhys, as a skeptical widower trying to boost tourism on an isolated New England island while completel...

Welcome back to another episode of Because I'm John Sellmeyer! Today, we are going deep underground and talking about one of the most stressful and terrifying horror movies ever made: The Descent . If you have claustrophobia, this one is going to seriously test your limits. We're breaking down the intense cave exploration, the absolute nightmare of being trapped in an unmapped cave system,...

Today on Because I'm John Sellmeyer, I am reviewing the 2026 Shudder original, Bloody Tennis . Directed by Nikias Chryssos, this bizarre sports horror flick has been compared to a wild mix of Suspiria and Challengers . We are breaking down the brutal elite academy setting, the over-the-top body horror, and that absolutely insane final match. Tune in to hear my thoughts and find out if this mov...

Welcome to another episode of Because I'm John Sellmeyer! Today we are clocking in for the graveyard shift to review the 2026 found footage psychological horror film, Infirmary. It has a serious Five Nights at Freddy's setup, just without the terrifying animatronics. We dive into the ultra-lean DIY GoPro aesthetic, the eerie overnight patrols at the Wilshire Infirmary, and how Mark Anthony...

Directed by YouTube comedy genius Curry Barker, Obsession masterfully balances deadpan humor with deeply uncomfortable tension. We dive into the brilliant performances of Michael Johnston as the pathetic, relatable Bear, and Indy Navarette as Nikki, the target of a disastrously effective One Wish Willow spell. Navarette is a major fan favorite to play Violet in the upcoming Fourth Wing adaptation,...

Welcome back to Because I'm John Sellmeyer . In this episode, we are slipping through the cracks of reality to talk about A24's Backrooms . Directed by Kane Parsons, this movie is a psychological terror vehicle that feels exactly like staring at an old Windows 95 3D Maze screensaver until it actually traps you. We break down Chiwetel Ejiofor's incredible performance as Clark, a failing...

Oscars 2026 Recap: Michael B. Jordan, PTA’s Big Win, and a Dark Twist The 98th Academy Awards are officially in the books, and we are breaking down every viral moment, from Conan O’Brien’s opening parody of Weapons to the history-making wins. Did Michael B. Jordan deserve Best Actor for playing twins in Ryan Coogler’s Sinners ? Was Paul Thomas Anderson’s One Battle After Another the right choice f...

Podcast Summary: Autism in Film, TV, and Pop Culture In this episode of "Because I'm John Sellmeyer," John sits down with his lifelong friend Reese to dive deep into the world of autism representation in media. John and Reese use a "Plus" (Authentic/Relatable) and "Minus" (Stereotypical/Exploitative) system to break down a massive list of titles: Taxi Driver (1976...

In this episode of Because I’m John Sellmeyer , John and his beautiful wife Alondra reunite behind the mic for a deep dive into the cultural phenomenon that was Super Bowl 60 . While the game itself—a Seahawks vs. Patriots rematch—might have been a "boring" defensive struggle for a Chiefs fan, the halftime show was anything but. We break down Bad Bunny’s record-breaking, cinematic halfti...

Episode Summary: Grab a brown blanket and a blueberry spinach smoothie—we’re officially one week into 2026! Today, Johnny and his "extravagant" wife Alondra dive deep into the fallout of the Stranger Things season finale. *SPOILERS** Did Eleven really sacrifice herself, or are we all being gaslit by the Duffer Brothers? We’re breaking down the "Conformity Gate" theory: from the...

Because I'm John Sellmeyer: Holiday Chaos, FNaF 2, and Wally World Jokes (Feat. Alondra) Get ready for some hilarious holiday chat as John Sellmeyer welcomes his beautiful wife, Alondra , back to the mic! In this episode, they dive into the festive frenzy, comparing old-school Black Friday madness to today's online deals (and a trip to " Wally World " is involved!). From five Elf...

"Till death do us part" takes on a whole new meaning. This week, we're reviewing Ready or Not, the 2019 horror-comedy hit from directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett! We follow Grace (Samara Weaving), a bride whose wedding night turns into a terrifying game of survival against her rich and ritualistic in-laws, played by a stellar cast including Adam Brody, Mark O'Brien, and Andie MacDow...

Abandoned Minds: A Review of Session 9 Welcome to an hour of escalating dread as we unpack Brad Anderson's 2001 minimalist masterpiece, Session 9 . Shot on location in the chilling, decaying halls of the real Danvers State Hospital (The Danvers Asylum), this film is a masterclass in psychological horror that relies on atmosphere and mounting tension, not cheap jump scares. We join an asbestos...

NO! NOT THE BEES! A Celebration of The Wicker Man (2006) Forget folk songs and subtle dread. Grab your bear suit and prepare for an hour of pure Cage Rage as we dive into the hilariously disastrous and undeniably iconic 2006 remake of The Wicker Man ! Directed by Neil LaBute and starring producer Nicolas Cage as police officer Edward Malus, this film transforms a subtle folk horror classic into an...

Get off the ground! Join us as we grab some rocks, load the elephant guns, and dissect one of the best monster movies and purest examples of a horror-comedy hybrid: Ron Underwood's 1990 cult classic, Tremors . In the tiny, ironically-named desert town of Perfection, Nevada, two perpetual handymen, Val McKee ( Kevin Bacon ) and Earl Bassett ( Fred Ward ), are planning to finally leave town. But...

From Splatter to Middle-earth: A Review of Peter Jackson's Dead Alive Before the epic battles of Middle-earth, there was the ultimate suburban bloodbath. Join us as we explore the early, gloriously gross work of Oscar-winning director Peter Jackson with a review of his 1992 splatter masterpiece, Dead Alive (also known as Braindead ). This is the film that put a new spin on splatstick (splatter...

Say His Name: Deconstructing the Original Candyman Description: Never say it five times. Never look in the mirror. This week, we plunge the hook deep into the haunting, visceral, and socio-politically charged horror of the 1992 classic, Candyman . Graduate student Helen Lyle travels to the notorious Cabrini-Green housing projects to research the urban legend of a hook-handed killer. But when her s...

"No More Mr. Nice Guy!" Wes Craven's Shocker Hits the Airwaves Description: Plug in and prepare for a massive power surge! This week, we're dissecting Wes Craven's electrifying, over-the-top 1989 slasher, Shocker , a glorious failure in the attempt to create the next horror icon. Meet Horace Pinker (Mitch Pileggi), a vile serial killer who gets sent to the electric chair, but...

Description: Welcome to the ultimate house of horrors—and it's a commentary on class warfare! This week, we lock ourselves inside the labyrinthine mansion of the Robeson family for Wes Craven's wildly satirical and deeply unsettling 1991 cult classic, The People Under the Stairs . When 13-year-old Fool breaks into his greedy landlords' fortified home to steal a rumored cache of gold co...

Beyond the Veil: Deconstructing Nicole Kidman's The Others Description: Step out of the sun and into the permanent shadows of a remote Jersey manor. This week, we're locking all fifteen doors and pulling back the heavy velvet curtains on Alejandro Amenábar's 2001 gothic masterpiece, The Others . Nicole Kidman delivers a career-defining performance as Grace Stewart, a devoutly religious...

All aboard the KTX, destination: utter, non-stop zombie chaos! In this week's episode, we're sprinting through the carriages of the 2016 South Korean horror masterpiece, Train to Busan . It's more than just a zombie movie; it's a claustrophobic, high-speed meditation on humanity's best and worst instincts. Join us as we discuss: The Relentless Pace: How director Yeon Sang-ho ma...

Description: Sam Raimi is back, baby, and he's brought the slime, the scares, and the pitch-black laughs! Join us as we dissect the gloriously gross-out terror of 2009's Drag Me to Hell . Ambitious loan officer Christine Brown denies an old woman a mortgage extension to get ahead at work—a fatal career move. Cursed by the elderly Sylvia Ganush and haunted by the goat-like demon Lamia, Chri...

Episode Title: Friendship (2025): A Birthday Review of Awkward Comedy & Acid-Tripping Frogs Episode Summary: In this special episode, the host is joined by guest Alondra to celebrate her 30th birthday and review the 2025 dark comedy, Friendship , starring Tim Robinson and Paul Rudd. Before diving into the movie, the hosts share their appreciation for Tim Robinson, reminiscing about their favor...