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Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by siblings Xandy and Christine Schiefer.
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335: Reviews of Beans 30.04.2025 1:19:01
We love Pinto Macbean and definitely not because we're afraid of him! See us on tour!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our epi...
334: Reviews of Laundromats 23.04.2025 59:51
Everyone wish Christine a happy birthday! See us on tour!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://ti...
333: Reviews of Tiki Bars 16.04.2025 1:30:07
See us on tour and don't throw quarters at us!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon for Noddy content! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@b...
332: Reviews of Chiropractors 09.04.2025 1:26:51
See us on tour and at our EPCOT after party!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to get pre-sale access! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com...
331: Reviews of April Fools Pranks 02.04.2025 1:17:41
SEE US ON TOUR!!! Tickets on sale this Friday!! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/tour Join our Patreon to get pre-sale access! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.c...
330: Reviews of Multivitamins 26.03.2025 1:03:01
After recording this episode, Xandy found an empty can of rootbeer on his floor. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy being naughty! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! http...
329: St. Patrick's Day Reviews 19.03.2025 1:09:11
If your name is O'Brien, Murphy, Fitzpatrick, etc. it's a very BIG day. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy being naughty! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tikto...
328: Reviews of Beginner Crochet Kits 12.03.2025 1:13:04
We expect to see your thumbs up if you like this episode. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy deal with Goblins! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@bea...
327: Between You And Us 05.03.2025 1:05:58
We're confident Jimmy Carter would've been a sand monster. Join our Patreon to watch us watch Noddy for some reason! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beac...
326: Reviews of Rivers 26.02.2025 1:25:30
If you see Christine by the Charles River trying to sell you on eternal life... no you didn't. Join our not so secret labor force! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://ti...
325: Reviews of Art Classes 19.02.2025 1:19:50
A new wave of freshness! Listen now! Join our not so secret labor force! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.co...
324: Reviews of Off-Brand Sodas 12.02.2025 1:25:16
Sit around the fire as Christine regales you with the Ballad of Dr. Perky Send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy...
323: Reviews of Yoga Studios 05.02.2025 1:46:07
Susej, I choose you! Send us a voicemail! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Learn more...
322: Reviews Written from the Parking Lot 29.01.2025 1:01:16
A big yellow star took my business away. Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://...
321: Reviews of Health Food Stores 22.01.2025 1:35:34
Xandy is streaming again! We'll see how long that lasts... Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine...
320: Reviews of Luggage 15.01.2025 57:00
Do you remember your first polycarbonate hardside spinner luggage? Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/sh...
319: Reviews of Calendars 08.01.2025 1:21:27
How else am I supposed to watch you poop?? Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's...
318: Between You And Us 01.01.2025 55:48
happy wonderwall!!!!! bapp. We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitc...
317: Reviews of Disappointing Holiday Gifts 25.12.2024 1:17:10
Happy Holidays! We hope this episode isn't the highlight of your occasion. We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.ets...
316: Reviews of Holiday Yard Inflatables 18.12.2024 1:27:54
Please be wary if you have an angel yard inflatable. Xandy is on the prowl. We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.et...
315: Reviews of Christmas Albums 11.12.2024 1:06:15
Hopefully this is the closest we get to a full musical episode. We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/...
314: Reviews of Snow Shoveling Services 04.12.2024 1:00:42
Who is ready for some five star plowing?! We have merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's...
313: Thanksgiving Extravaganza 27.11.2024 1:06:04
Huge merch sale!! 25% off storewide! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextinefiles Xandy's stream: twitch.tv/x...
312: Reviews of Trampoline Parks 20.11.2024 58:06
:bouncin: :bouncin: Black Friday Sale starts Monday! 25% off storewide! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xtine's Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/thextin...
311: Reviews of Old People Food 13.11.2024 1:09:56
Find out what candy civil war general George Washington gave to his troops for good luck! Ad-free listening and full video episodes! https://www.patreon.com/beachtoosandy Watch clips of your favorite moments! https://www.youtube.com/beachtoosandywatertoowet Take a look at this merch! https://www.beachtoosandy.store Watch videos from our episodes on TikTok! https://tiktok.com/@beachtoosandy Xti...
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