Bat Minute

Bruce now sees that Buzz, Chuckie AND Sal are in on these fronts together. The Bat is planning to pay the gangster a little visit to get to the bottom of all of this... and then head to Andrea's for a little lovin' it seems! Cut to later on and The Bat is stalking one Mr Valestra. Well, stealing his stuff at least. Smooth. Not sure that'd hold up in court though, dude. The next episode follows on...

Sal is angry - why is The Bat doing this? Why is he killing off gangsters? He’s never done it before. It's almost like... IT'S NOT HIM AT ALL! SHOCK! GASP! Anyway, Sal is too old for this ****. After he denounces the freak job Arthur then practically turns his back on the guy. Some friend, huh? Back at the Bat Cave, Bruce is working out how to foil the grand scheme while Alfred cleans some foils o...

A one house celebration?

Our Bruce is gently weeping. Graveside, wet from both tears and rain. Sopping one could say. BUT CRY NO LONGER! Andrea is here, sent by the ghosts of your dead parents to keep you happy. You'd both better be happy FOREVER AND EVER otherwise the spirits will be most upset... Going another layer deep in our Inception-like flashbacks, we then see Batman perched like one of his favourite grotesques, w...

Something creepy this way comes...

Bruce rejects the phone call from Andrea. He's choosing his path in life, right here, right now... it's Batman all the way. We should all feel for Alfred. He’s standing there with Andrea on hold… he’s desperately trying to come up with something, come up with ANYTHING he can say to her. Not cool to put him in this position man. Not cool. We then head to a stormy night at the graveyard. Bruce has g...

Bruce has been badly beaten and the box is about to be nabbed! He held his own pretty well though, bravo, bravo. The sweater is ripped though - disgraceful. After this chaos our boy heads back to the mansion for some light doodling. This pic is all about the big scary costume he wants. Raaaaar. Andrea is on the phone. This is the moment of decision - Bruce needs to choose his destiny right here, r...

TETSUO!

We’re back as Bruce tackles the motorcycle gang… but not the one from our other show. No, don't get confused here, listeners. Holy crap - he literally just throws this guy over the bridge and into the water. Bruce is seeing red! We've got ourselves a good old fashioned slobberknocker! It's a pier six brawl! From Bruiser Brody to Akira, Chris Jericho and Sting, this minute has it all, Bat Mites! Th...

Valestra lights up a fatty. A STOLEN FATTY! That's just not on. Down with this sort of thing. Andrea and Bruce take their business outside - they know when they're not wanted. I mean, Bruce does have baggy, loose, skin it seems. While taking a stroll the pair suddenly stumble upon… CRIME! Motorbikes circling some poor schmuck. Time to bring some justice to these streets... The next episode follows...

Arthur does this little awkward cough. Feeling like a... fourth wheel, dude? Oh well, he's outta here anyway. Beat it, creep! I suppose I should be calling him a "Young Turk", however. "All the money in the world means little if you don’t have loved ones to share it with”. Ouch, Bruce feels that HARD. Gangsters barge in and do gangster shizz, such as stealing cigars named after tigers. Real gangst...

Andrea finishes her thought about the future - is Bruce talking about anybody’s in particular or just the generic store brand? Regardless, she isn't expecting to get any concrete plans out of this guy. That's kind of his whole thing. The duo head to the car and Andrea then drops the bombshell that her dad wants to meet him. GULP! THIS ISN'T PART OF THE PLAN! For... some reason. We meet Mr Beaumont...

Don your wig and head into the Knoxville World’s Fair today, Bat Mites. Well, it's close enough at least. Bruce and Andrea hitch a ride through the future of Gotham and get to see C-3PO Cylons and all kinds of tech. They SHOULD be seeing it anyway but they're too busy canoodling! That is until Brucie boy spies his one true love - A CAR! " Forward, forward, to the future, Our dreams are shining bri...

Batman turns into King Perv as he spies on his lady love... via binoculars. From behind the grotesques. How sexy. As Andrea and the slime ball have their dinner date we then go all wavy-wavy and venture back to the past once more! A Bruce booty shot introduces us to THE WORLD OF TOMORROW! The next episode follows on Friday. Same Bat Pod, different Bat Minute! Join us on Facebook at the  Bat M...

Batman foolishly gives the game away about his real identity, brooding over his parents grave WHILE IN COSTUME. Smart plan there dude. Real clever... Andrea, who seemingly lives at the graveyard, pops up yet again and has another chat with her dead ma. Later on she cleans herself up and heads for a swanky meal with greasy Arthur Reeves himself... The next episode follows on Wednesday. Same Bat Pod...

Gordon INSISTS that The Batman does not kill, so he can’t have bumped Bronski off! Can he really be so sure? Best sweep the desk of papers to drive the point home regardless! Jim doesn’t try to STOP the team from arresting Batman, he just washes his hands of it. He Pontius Pilates the situation. To the graveyard the Bat goes! Detective time... along with some heavy grieving. Lovely... The next epi...

The goons find what’s left of Big Bad Bronski. Oh man, that can't be pretty... think 'mashed potatoes'. In the distance these guys spy The Phantasm… though they think that it’s DA BAT! Mistaken identity is a terrible thing... The next morning, one Sal Valestra sees this tale in the local rag and nearly has a heart attack - could he be next on the hitlist? The next episode follows on Friday. Same B...

Bronski’s Bozos leap into action to save their screaming superior. While fleeing the Phantasm, Bronski falls victim to one of the classic blunders - he falls down a recently opened up grave. We've all done it, right? That old one, eh? Deep in the ground, Bronski awaits the crushing blow of the divine... The next episode follows on Wednesday. Same Bat Pod, different Bat Minute! Join us on Facebook...

“Get away from me you freak”. Has that ever worked? Has the bad guy gone “oh, okay, sure thing, my apologies”? Either way. Bronski Beat is giving it a shot! Wielding a pickaxe, Buzz decides to battle the undead. Not sure that's how this works, but you go dude - go down swinging! However... WHERE ARE HIS MEN?!?!? The next episode follows on Monday. Same Bat Pod, different Bat Minute! Join us on Fac...

"I cherish peace with all my heart. I don't care how many men, women and children I need to kill to get it".

The mysterious one exits the car and crushes tobacco underfoot. No respect at all. What a waste too, especially for this Smalltown Boy. Bronski (Beat) is here to pay respects to the fallen... and this ALWAYS goes well in gangster films, right? RIGHT?!?!? A ghostly voice! A SPIRIT! CHUCKIE IS BACK FOR REVENGE! DAMBALLA, GIVE ME THE POWER I BEG OF YOU! The next episode follows on Friday. Same Bat Po...

Full of woe...

Andrea finishes owning Bruce by revealing her defence class for girls training. Now, to sensible, enlightened, people this is nothing to be ashamed of... but Bruce ain't quite right. Celebrate womanhood, man. Instead of that, Bruce goes full Cobra Kai and sweeps the leg! To these degenerates it's all foreplay, however... and Alfred just can't handle it! Throw in Ms Bambi dancing on the piano and y...

The cops arrest the last crook standing as Bruce skulks away to safety once more. Job done. His plan is working. Maybe not the whole becoming a Bat part, but certainly the stopping crime element. The next day the papers are wild with stories and rumours, but our hero is busy... WITH JIU JITSU! Take that, Andrea! Oh yeah, she's here too now. Anyway, jiu jistu is no joke, it takes years to master. T...

The police have been flip-flip-flipped! Bruce is the only one who can stop this guy from stealing… something. Whatever it is! YOU GO, BRUCIE! Don't forget your hammer. The cops arrive on the scene so Bruce flees. His job is done - the guy will be arrested and the crime has been averted. Kind of. I mean, half of the stuff was lost or destroyed, but whatever. Close enough. The next episode follows o...