Bat Minute

IT'S THE HALL OF RECORDS! THE HALL OF RECORDS! HALL! OF! RECORDS! The Penguin's pursuit of his family history continues, complete with feet and corrective eyewear, as Max fends off nosy press snoops! Chill, Man! Back with our Bat gang is  - it's  Kit Flemons of the band Rat Bit Kit ! Bringing his free-reed aerophone punk rock Guantanamo Jazz, Kit will extract the Salty Tears from th...

The Penguin is a simple man. All he wants is to find out who his folks were! Aww! Who knew he was such a nice guy, eh? Nature vs Nurture takes centre stage. Meanwhile, Bruce is keeping a beady little eye on how this all plays out. He may connect with The Penguin's stated mission, but something smells fishy... Joining our crew as Special Guest Investigator is the man who always welcomes you to this...

The Dark Duck Rises! The Penguin is a hero! Or is he? The crowd goes wild, the flash bulbs explode and our chap is startled and bemused. Meanwhile, Alfred decorates Wayne Manor ALL BY HIMSELF! God damn it, Bruce... He may not know kung fu, but  Phil Dragash of The Matrix Minute podcast is back to show us how to walk the path! The Penguin's days are numbered with Phil on the case. Do you hear...

Hello there, Mr Mayor! You seem different to last time... No matter. He reassures us that everything is under control and the MADNESS of the previous eve shall not be repeated... THEN A CLOWN STEALS HIS DAMN CHILD! In steps dear Pengie to save the day... Aiding our Bat Minute crew in rescuing this poor child is returning champion  Phil Dragash of The Matrix Minute podcast! Is this kidnapping...

"There's a brand new dance but I don't know its name  That people from bad homes do again and again  It's big and it's bland, full of tension and fear  They do it over there but we don't do it here Fashion!" Selina works her magic and creates this season's hottest new look from mere thimbles and spikes. Ingenuity or what? You know that feeling where you put on an outfit and instantl...

Hell(o) (t)here, General Kenobi! Selina hits the workroom in a bid to wow Momma Ru. This Kitty Girl can fashion a lot from little! Toot or boot those nails, nails, nails? Either way, we're all feeling YUMMY. Returning to the Bat Minute case is one of our top investigators,  Stephanie Palacino ! Start your engines - this Caffine Glamazon is bringing The Realness. The next episode follows on Mo...

CHAOS! DESTRUCTION! FLUFFY ANIMALS! Selina smashes everything in sight - she can't take it anymore. Did she die? Did she survive? Either way, Ms Kyle ain't never gonna be the same! Back again as Special Guest Investigator is the Bat Minute legend herself - it's Stephanie Palacino ! Rather than Drowning in Sunshine, Stephanie has joined the dark and gloomy world of Gotham's streets once more in ord...

Selina Kyle may be the walking dead, but she still looks after her pet - THAT'S commitment! DON'T GIVE HER MILK THOUGH, DAMN IT! Bad kitty. Suddenly it's all too much for our poor Selina, however and the string SNAPS. This week's returning champion is the one and only Caffine Jedi - it's Stephanie Palacino ! She's back in the house, Bat fans! Swiftly becoming a key voice of the show, our crew need...

It's a feast fit for a kitten as these fancy felines snack away on our poor Selina! There's something a little magical about these moggies, however... Honey, SHE'S HOME! “She is the malevolent     antidote to her poignantly pleasant early evening and     previous life self”. Assisting the Bat Minute crew one more time and helping decide just what the hell is...

CRASH! BANG! WALLOP! Selina does her best Mankind impression and takes one hell of a dive! SHE'S BROKEN IN HALF! Our beauty is broken. Are kitties the answer? This case won't solve itself, so the Bat Minute crew have called for the maestro herself to return - it's filmmaker  Natasha Kermani ! We need somebody with the knowledge that can rein our Bat Minute cats in! The next episode follows on...

It's predation galore today as Max terrifies Selina into fessing up! Curiosity clearly got the better of this cat (sorry - secretary), but she's going to try her best to weasel her way out of this one. MAX IS DOING IT ALL FOR HIS SON THOUGH! THE ULTIMATE FAILSON! To assist our crew on their investigation we've called in assistance from the very best once more - it's filmmaker  Natasha Kermani...

Selina the hacker! HACK THE PLANET! Unfortunately, her boss doesn't seem all that enthused about this wake-up call from the Nintendo generation. Will fond memories of Geraldo be enough to keep Ms Kyle out of trouble? Saving the day for our Jon and Niall one more time is the movie maven herself - it's  Clarisse Loughrey ! That Darn Movie Show, Kermode and Mayo's Film Review, The Independent......

Selina's exciting phone call is for...  puuuuuurrrrrfume. HOW WONDERFUL! Things get even worse when she realises that she didn't prep the Bruce Wayne file for the big meeting! YOU DITZ! Max heads to the office but finds Ms Kyle doing something she REALLY shouldn't be... Back as Special Guest Investigator is the irrepressible  Clarisse Loughrey ! This Darn Critic is That Darn Good! W...

HELLO THERE! No, it isn't Mr Kenobi - it's Selina's apartment! As she kicks off her heels and checks her messages there's one from her useless appendage... sorry... from her boyfriend - Selina has been kicked to the curb! Is her tension rising? Are her inner storms brewing? Is Selina set to snap? To investigate these matters requires the very best backup, so the Bat Boys have called in the one, th...

A deal is struck! Hands are shook! Selina is full of luck! Honey... this cat's alive! Back for one more crack of our feline friend's investigative whip is a singer and actor whose vocals certainly never crack - it's  Bryarly Bishop ! With these kind of skills to offer the show, our Bat crew feel like cats that got the cream. Which is a big no-no, actually. Don't do it. The next episode follow...

The Penguin has been a crafty little fella and introduces us to his latest project - one that Max will be especially intrigued by! It's a shame we missed out on the kinky polaroids, however. This is all it takes - Shreck is now on board and the game is afoot. Back again is the chanteuse of Gotham - it's  Bryarly Bishop ! She can sing, she can act, she can dub-dub-dub and bring those voic...

Pengie tells us what he wants (what he really, really, wants) - to find out his name! He wants to be a real boy! Why would Max help him out though? Our sly sphenisciformes has thought about this and uncovered a disturbing truth about Mr Shreck... Entering the investigation and combating the toxic waste of Gotham is none other than returning champion  Bryarly Bishop ! As an accomplished singer...

Samhain is over and now Max has a splitting headache - aww, poor guy! What would help this? Hypnosis? The Penguin has his own scheme - one to re-emerge, to fly into the world above like no penguin before! Back once more as Special Guest Investigator is the hard rockin' grunge-master  Gaz Flint!  Gaz will give you a headache of your own - from headbangin' baby! The next episode follows on...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Our dear, sweet, Pengie has a wonderful session of show and tell for us as we get the opportunity to peruse his unimaginable umbrella collection! What larks! What does he want though? To be respected is all. Is that really too much to ask? Back to crack this case and deliver nothing short of a superkick party to all and sundry is Mr Too Sweet himself - it's musician, YouTuber and...

Max opens his eyes and is greeted by quite a sight - it's the Red Triangle Gang, baby! Poodle and all!  ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH! The Penguin appears to be an environmentalist - this guy is out to stop the carcinogens! He can't be bad then, right? Joining the crew for this investigation is musician, globe trotter, honorary Hong Konger, red panda enthusiast and Bat fanatic Gaz Flint!  Let...

It's official: THE CIRCUS GANG IS BACK! If Gordon says it, it  must be true. Max runs for his life but falls into some... complications. Stinky ones at that. WE ALSO GET A TRIP TO THE ZOO! AWW! Making his final appearance of the week is the King of the Batmaniacs - it's  Dan Kampling ! Is Dan the man to ban this gang's grand plan to the dustpan? Tune in to find out, Bat fans! The next ep...

CRASH! BANG! WALLOP! WHAT A MANOEUVRE! That crook is toast! Selina is saved by The Bat but he has no time for chit-chat as he promptly exits the scene - leaving Ms Kyle to toy with a taser. Is she more mischievous than she appears? Back as Special Guest Investigator is the Don of Bat Knowledge himself - it's  Dan Kampling ! Here to spread the word of the Caped Crusader like only he can, can D...

Batman burns the bad guys! FATALITY! He also takes out the Devil himself - what a hero! Not today, Satan! Sadly, Selina is seized by a shady scoundrel! AND BATMAN MISSES WITH HIS GRAPPLING HOOK! Some save, Bats. Joining the crew as Special Guest Investigator is our resident Bat Computer himself - it's  Dan Kampling ! Think you know Batman? Think again - Dan is a veritable Batcyclopedia!...

Max gets rammed! Happy Hallowmas! SWEEP THE LEG! It's all out chaos as The Red Triangle Gang are unleashed and the streets look set to run red with the blood of the innocent. Or is there a more cunning plan at play? Back with parry and reposte to defeat this villainous scum is this week's Batwoman: YouTuber, comic and swordswoman  Jessi Milestone ! This may be the end of her Bat Minute Return...

THE BAT IS BACK! The beacon is alight and Bruce must bounce! Meanwhile, Chip is seconds away from being chopped - unless he coughs up pops, that is. Back to slice and dice her way to the truth on this investigation is YouTuber, comic and swordswoman  Jessi Milestone ! Shining like a lightsaber, Jessi can dispatch even the mightiest of foes - Organ Grinders not withstanding. The next episode f...