Back from the Borderline

In this powerful episode, I’m joined by 67-year-old Scott Schaeffer, whose journey through trauma, self-discovery, and resilience is one of the most impactful stories I've shared on the podcast. Scott’s life was shaped by severe physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his father, along with the struggle of growing up in a household where his mother couldn’t protect him or his siblings. Despit...

To truly advocate for yourself in mental health treatment, it’s crucial to understand the different frameworks that shape how mental health is approached and treated. The dominant view in Western mental health care, known as the medical model, seeks to pathologize emotional experiences, attributing symptoms to “disorders” or supposed chemical imbalances in the brain. But here’s the catch: the medi...

What do you do when you realize you’ve hurt the people you love? In this episode, I respond to a listener’s voicemail about the deep guilt that follows an episode of emotional dysregulation, where she “lost it” with close friends who haven’t spoken to her since. These moments—the ones where we realize, “I might be the problem”—can be some of the hardest to face on the path to healing. But they’re...

Navigating the workplace can be an overwhelming experience, especially for those managing symptoms related to trauma recovery. Many individuals who resonate with the symptoms of various disorder/dysfunction labels are highly sensitive, intuitive, creative, and often find traditional job environments triggering or draining. In this episode, we explore the common workplace struggles faced by people...

In this episode, my incredible partner Zaz is back to help tackle your pressing questions on love, intimacy, and the realities of building healthy relationships. Together, we’re diving into the complex dynamics that shape romantic connections, from understanding emotional abuse to breaking free from obsessive thoughts about a new crush. This conversation covers the importance of uncovering your co...

In this episode, we explore the profound sense of spiritual starvation that so many of us grapple with—a feeling of emptiness, brokenness, and isolation that seems impossible to fill. Inspired by a voicemail from Thiago in Brazil and a message from Noura in Egypt, I’m reminded of why I started this podcast: to connect with those searching for meaning beyond the surface-level solutions often offere...

Anger is one of our most intense and often misunderstood emotions, but what if this powerful feeling could be used as a tool for personal growth? In this episode, we explore the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger, and ask: is society’s view of anger to blame for the “unhealthy” ways we express it? We’ll dive into practical anger management strategies and effective techniques for releas...

Dissociation can feel like slipping out of reality itself—but what’s really going on when we disconnect from our surroundings or even from ourselves? In this episode, we take an in-depth look at dissociation, breaking down its subtypes, including derealization (feeling detached from the world around you) and depersonalization (feeling detached from yourself). We explore how dissociation is often t...

What if the pursuit of a “strong sense of self” is actually keeping us trapped in cycles of suffering? In this episode, we unravel the complexities of identity disturbance, especially as it relates to the “Favorite Person” dynamic often seen with BPD traits. We’ll explore how attaching our sense of self to others can lead to feelings of emptiness and imposter syndrome, questioning whether common t...

Have you ever wondered why so many mental health treatments seem to scratch the surface but don’t quite reach the root of what’s going on? For those who resonate with mental health disorder labels, the journey often begins and ends with skills-based therapies like DBT or CBT. While coping techniques can help us manage day-to-day challenges, these approaches rarely address the bigger picture—the so...

If you no longer viewed your symptoms as proof of being “disordered” but as a part of your brain’s natural, adaptive design, how would that reshape your self-understanding? How would it impact the hope you hold for your future? For millions, the prevailing belief is that symptoms of mental distress stem from chemical imbalances or genetic flaws—issues inherited and hardwired. But groundbreaking re...

For many who resonate with symptoms associated with various different mental health disorder/dysfunction labels, the journey to “getting better” often begins with therapy and learning skills through methods like CBT or DBT. But what happens when those skills still don’t seem to bring the sense of peace or fulfillment you’re looking for? You’ve done the research, tried the techniques, yet find your...

Most of us are well aware of the patterns we want to break—the cycles that keep us from experiencing true peace and intimacy. We can see the behaviors that sabotage our connections, but knowing isn’t the same as changing. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on my own journey is that transforming our beliefs is essential to transforming our actions. In this episode, we’ll explore some of the de...

Former Nickelodeon child-star Jennette McCurdy's provocatively titled memior “I’m Glad My Mom Died” became a near-instant New York Times bestseller after its release in August 2022. The Audible version of the book is narrated by Jeanette herself and details her struggles with disordered eating, alcohol addiction, OCD, unstable relationships and – most notably – her extremely complicated relationsh...

In a recent interview with Howard Stern, 20-year-old singer-songwriter Billie Eilish revealed the devastating impact that having access to hardcore pornography from as early as age 11 had on her self-image and sexuality. In this episode, we delve into Billie's comments and explore the harmful effects of online porn on millennials and Gen-Z. Additionally, we discuss the potential increased risk of...

I received two listener emails this week that ripped my heart open. One was struggling with addiction, and the other was devastated by a recent heartbreak. These voicemails reminded me of why I started my podcast in the first place, so I decided to record this episode. It is a love letter to the person at rock bottom. The person who is so heartbroken, they feel like they can’t go on—the person que...

Do people who identify with symptoms of what is known as borderline personality disorder have a unique ability to connect to the transcendent? Are chronic feelings of emptiness less about being “disordered” and more about being spiritually starved? My guest on this episode, Dr. Lisa Miller, seems to think so. Lisa Miller has devoted her career to scientific research proving that spirituality is a...

In this episode, we take a closer look at comedian and actor Pete Davidson’s mental health journey, examining his openness about emotional struggles and trauma, and the journey that eventually led to his diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) in 2017. Known for his candidness, Pete has spoken about facing intense emotions, dissociation, explosive anger, depression, and challenges with...

Abandonment fear runs deep in the human psyche—it’s a primal instinct, woven into the fabric of how we connect with others. For some, this fear is manageable, an underlying hum that shapes relationships in subtle ways. But for those who struggle with emotion dysregulation, abandonment fear can feel overwhelming and consuming, creating patterns of self-protection that lead to isolation and confusio...

If you’re a highly sensitive person who often feels overwhelmed by intense emotions, this episode is for you. We dive into the experience of having “big feelings”—emotions so strong they can feel all-encompassing and difficult to manage. Together, we’ll explore the concept of emotional permanence, the sensation that certain emotions feel unshakable in the moment, as well as emotional dysregulation...

Are you known for always doing things “right,” following the rules, and keeping your emotions in check? If so, you may have what’s known as an Overcontrolled style of coping. People with this temperament are highly detail-oriented, vigilant to potential threats, and possess strong inhibitory control—the ability to hold back impulses and behaviors. On the outside, they often appear “high-functionin...

Have you ever felt completely out of control of your emotions—sudden waves of rage, paralyzing anxiety, or a numb disconnection from life? If so, you might be living outside your “window of tolerance,” the optimal state where you’re able to handle emotions, manage frustrations, and make clear-headed decisions. When we fall outside this window, we can find ourselves hijacked by intense reactions, f...

Weak or nonexistent personal boundaries can leave us feeling drained, manipulated, and even resentful. In this episode, we’ll explore how to recognize if you’re struggling with boundary issues and the impact this can have on your sense of self-worth, emotional stability, and relationships. Many of us learn unhealthy boundary patterns early on, often tied to codependency and the need to please othe...

Is it possible that what we often call “mental illness” might actually be a form of spiritual starvation? In this episode, we explore the limitations of traditional psychiatric diagnoses and question the narratives that define certain behaviors as “disorders” or “dysfunctions.” Diving into the complexities of the medical model in mental health, we discuss why diagnoses like “personality disorder”...

In this mini bonus episode, I answer a voicemail question from listener Kelly, who asks how to move forward to the next phase of her recovery journey. Together, we explore what it means to deepen your healing, letting go of old patterns and stepping into new growth. To wrap up, I’m also giving you a sneak peek of a premium episode where I dive into the nuanced topic of using sex as a form of self-...