Ask An Iranian
Ask An Iranian
There's nothing sensible about what we're doing — like hosting Iran's #1 English-language podcast... until we can't. So get that hashtag ready #FreeAskAnIranian
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Is it safe to visit Iran? 03.10.2023 1:25:23
You have lots of questions about Iran, we know! One of which—maybe the third—is likely to be, “Is it safe to visit Iran?”. If you ask us, we’d say yes. If you ask your Home Office, they’d say no. Sure, it’s complicated, and if you’re reading this any time between 1979 and 2029, it’s even more complicated. Disclaimer about whether it’s safe to visit Iran : We do not, and will never, advocate any tr...
Baba, why did you circumcise me? 23.06.2022 1:23:30
We put it out to our Iranian audience . We asked them if they prefer their men cut, i.e. circumcised. They mostly preferred it. We also asked them if they think being cut is a good idea. They mostly thought it was a good idea. Lastly, we asked them if they would have their next male child cut. They were kinda 50/50 on this. Where did the enthusiasm for circumcision in Iran go?! The practice of cir...
How deep will an Iranian uncle’s love go? 14.02.2022 45:26
You might have uncles, and you might have aunties. Iranians, however, have uncles, and they have uncles, and they have non-uncle uncles. This is because the titles given, differ, depending on the relation. Although this is not unique to Iran, there are many uniquely Iranian things that the world needs to know about Iranian aunts and uncles. What are they? Like any good Iranian uncle, we attempt to...
WTF are NFTs and why are Iranian artists into them? 06.01.2022 1:24:51
[NOTE OF WARNING: please read below before setting up an account for NFTs.] How much is a really good replica of a Mona Lisa worth? It might only be worthy of wiping your rear with — which should come as no surprise to you. This is because she’s a one-off work of art, or “non-fungible”. The digital realm has brought many great things with its advent, but until recently, freely replicating informat...
What’s it like being Christian in a Muslim nation? 24.12.2021 54:43
Jesus Christ! We love him! Muslims love him! He’s one of the prophets that we Muslims recognise. In fact, in the Quran, he gets mentioned by name 25 times, making him the most mentioned person in the holy book. You might also be surprised to hear that communities of Christians live among Muslims in Iran — yup! Jews too… but we’ll save that for another time. To help us learn what it’s like to be a...
Are all Iranian men mummy’s boys? 26.11.2021 1:04:23
In Iran we don't refer to somebody as the special child of a family — we refer to them as the golden willy. And, we think that's cute, if not a little sexist. Fret not though dear sisters, because this is not considered a compliment. A golden willy, or "dodool talā" as we say in Persian, can also be described as a mummy's boy. For a gender-neutral term, we say "bache naneh" to imply that a person...
What MUST you do in Iran? 08.11.2021 58:15
No, this isn't about tourist stuff — no, no, this one is about what you're kinda forced to do in Iran. And yes, you'd be forgiven for thinking that a list of what you must do in Iran would be longer than other nations — but is that strictly true? Well, probably yes. How much more, is something we go deep into, with this episode. As you might expect, there are dress codes that you must respect in I...
Farsi or Persian — who’s wrong? 24.10.2021 37:10
You might say you speak German, French, or Swahili, but you never say you speak Deutsch, Français, or Kiswahili. This is the logic behind people saying they speak Persian—when saying it in English—as opposed to saying they speak Farsi. Why let logic get in the way of your "feels" though?! You call it what you want! Farsi or Persian, Parsi or Iranian, who cares?! Oh, we do, kinda — enough at l...
What is the most Iranian thing? 08.09.2021 1:10:58
The Americans have obesity, the French have snobbery and the Saudis have hacksaws, but what is the most Iranian thing? To help figure this one out, we called on the help of our audience, and the results... were weird, in parts. We obviously got answers such as Persian rugs, nose jobs, and saffron, but we weren't expecting so many things related to the toilet . So, to help you get familiar with why...
Fingilish, or is it Pingilish? 22.08.2021 35:44
You make sounds — mouth sounds. You make them with intention because you probably want to ask your Pilates instructor if you can swap Tuesdays for Mondays. Other peoples do this, but with different mouth sounds — mouth sounds that have gradually found characters, and gradually become alphabets. This is pretty handy because it'll help you kinda figure out the intentions of peoples with very differe...
Why do Iranians think we’re better than them? 01.08.2021 48:37
To Iranians, ze Germans are foreign, but ze Chinese… well, they're just Chinese! It’s the same with many other nationalities and ethnicities for Iranians in Iran — some are foreign and some are just themselves. This type of categorisation tacitly exists and is just… discriminatory. Yes, it’s kinda racism, but the good kind , right! Iranians will hold certain peoples in high esteem and although the...
How much do Iranians tip? 02.07.2021 36:21
You do it. We do it. Even educated Iranian PhDs do it. Let's do it. Let's show a little extra gratitude. So yes, Iranians do have a culture of tipping, but there are differences. Now, where, when and how should you show this gratitude when tipping in Iran — well, allow us to explain. In this episode we discuss how to tip in Iran by sharing our experience of such moments. We tell you how Iran...
Why bother? 24.06.2021 56:14
We want your questions, BUT ... not those questions! No, we're not talking about the ones where we get asked about where men can meet men in Iran. No, no, it's that one question that we repeatedly get asked. It's asked by our parents, our siblings, our aunts and uncles, and most of our friends. In this episode, we answer that question. We would, however, prefer to answer your questions about Irani...
What do Iranians vote for? 17.06.2021 41:46
Yes, Iran has a functioning democracy, and no, this episode won't help you fully understand its complex structure. We can, however, help you understand that its structure has a presidential role. Yes, every four years Iranians will get out and vote for a candidate to fulfil this role. This year—2021—is one of those years, but rumour has it that not as many Iranians will go and exercise their democ...
What doesn’t happen at Iranian birthday parties? 08.06.2021 52:45
Birthdays happen to the best of us, and Iranians are no exception. To make things worse, these yearly occurrences won't just happen once a year — no, no... Think about it, there are many Iranian birthday parties. There's your parents' birthdays, your aunts' and uncles' birthdays, your work chums' birthdays, and maybe even your pets' birthdays. In fact, chances are that you're planning for a birthd...
Can women play football… in Iran? 31.05.2021 57:22
In 2005 our guest, Katayoun Khosrowyar , arrived in Iran, fresh-off-the-boat and completely unaware of how her visit would change the direction of her life, as well as the lives of other Iranian women. This isn't because she turned up without a headscarf and had to borrow another woman's, but more because of her role in shaping women's football in Iran. Questions we also get answers to in this epi...
Are All Iranians Hairy? 25.05.2021 43:45
An inquisitive English lady by the name of Lucy got in touch with us , hoping to settle a question that has been on her mind. She lives on an artists' residency with an Iranian, and this gentleman seems to have aroused her curiosity. What Lucy is curious to know is, are all Iranians hairy? To help settle at least one part of Lucy's curiosity, we asked our Iranian Instagram followers to help get he...
Flight stories… what’s Iran got? 19.05.2021 49:43
What better way to derive stories than to surround yourself with unfamiliar people, in an unfamiliar place, and with unfamiliar expectations. One specific way in which you can do this is to simply take a flight. Yes, just one trip on a plane is all you need to gain ample resource for reiteration at soirées, thereafter. It is very unlikely that we'll be seeing you at a soirée, so we thought we'd ga...
No? 05.05.2021 33:19
Iranians are not ones for saying no, but occasionally when they do say no, they don't actually say no. Having said that, they will either be polite with you while not saying no or will be impolite with you when indicating no. This is because Iranians, like others around the Middle East, will indicate no, with a "noch". "Noch" is an onomatopoeia describing the sound made by Iranians when responding...
How do I propose to an Iranian girl? 29.04.2021 1:14:48
This is Amir, minutes after proposing to the girl that's grabbing his face. She said yes, and the day after, Amir went to her parent's house to do it as it should be done in Iran. Don't be Amir — run it by the Iranian parents first. Welcome to part 1 of 34 in a series about Iranian marriage. To start things off, we discuss the Iranian courting custom known as "khaastegaari". If you yearn for an Ir...
Which Iranian national anthem is which? 20.04.2021 1:06:29
The most fun part of any Olympics is when the medals are given and you get to experience the differences between national anthems. Unfortunately, you'll be listening to the American, Chinese and Russian anthems more than you'd like, but on the odd occasion that an athlete from a lesser-known nation wins, the fun begins. When an Iranian wins a medal—usually for wrestling—your ears will be blessed w...
How do I “fakefast”? 13.04.2021 57:57
Even the world's fastest-growing religion occasionally needs to take a break. Yes, each year it takes a month-long break and fills it with lots of breakier brakes. Call it a celebration; call it an endurance test — either way, you'll be calling it Ramadan . Although the fundamentals are the same, there are many ways in which different nations go about it. Iran is different, and for many differing...
Norooz, Norouz, Nowruz? 05.04.2021 41:08
Time—it has been said—is a concept, by which we measure our pain. We're gonna say it again... time... is a concept... by which we measure... our pain. Now, let's take that concept (with its accompanying pain) and turn it around. In doing this, we've invented celebrations. Some peoples and cultures mark the measurement of time on a seemingly random time-space moment known as January 1st, and others...
Why do Iranians blackface? (feat. Tehran Von Ghasri) 28.03.2021 1:14:04
Colour plays an important role in the social hierarchy, and it's important that everyone knows their place. Such social constructs play an important part in elevating the important people above the lower-level nobodies. Using this construct we wanted to elevate ourselves, which is why we wanted to have a certain guest on the show . This guest, among other many great things, is universally known fo...
Why do Iranians “hamash” code-switch? 04.03.2021 53:21
There are languages you know you speak, and there are bits of other languages that you don't know you speak. New concepts arrive; those concepts get coined, and as and when they get used elsewhere, we see languages evolve. To give yourself an example, simply try speaking English, without using Latin, Greek or, heaven forbid, French. The embryonic stages of this phenomena can be referred to as code...
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