Akka's Unsolicited Advice

Send us Fan Mail There is an unwritten rulebook for being raised by a Tamil mom. We just never got a copy. In this episode, we review some of the rules we somehow all learned by osmosis—from superstitions you were never allowed to question, to the correct way to wash dishes, Tupperware return etiquette, what gifts are acceptable to give guests, and, for reasons we cannot explain, a surprisingly de...

Send us Fan Mail For some of us, summer vacation meant one thing: India. In this episode, Anjali and I talk about growing up with summers that revolved around trips to India. One of us was ready to stay home, the other couldn't wait to go. We compare our experiences, from spending summers with family to realizing that somehow every vacation plan can turn into a full-blown family vacation. We...

Send us Fan Mail What’s it actually like having an Akka? For once, we’re hearing from the thambi.  In this episode, we invited Dharshini's baby (he is an adult) brother, Mithran, to share his perspective on growing up with an older sister. He talks about what he learned from her example, the ways having an Akka shaped him, and the things he definitely did (and didn’t) appreciate about having...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when stories set in Tamil communities rarely center Tamil women? In this episode, we unpack how Tamil women are portrayed in Indian media—from being sidelined into supporting roles to having their pain used as a turning point for a male character's journey. We talk about beauty standards, representation, and why it's so rare to see women who actually look li...

Send us Fan Mail For once, the Akka giving the advice is the one answering the questions. In this flip-the-script episode, my cousins take over the interview chair to ask me about dating (or not dating), being single in my thirties, and navigating all the questions that seem to come with it. We talk about family expectations and what I'm actually looking for in a partner. Along the way, we un...

Send us Fan Mail Our bodies have always seemed to be a topic of conversation, but should they be? In this episode, we talk about growing up in a culture where comments about weight, appearance, and body changes are often seen as normal conversation, even when they leave a lasting impact. From well-intentioned family remarks to the beauty standards reinforced within the Tamil community, we unpack h...

Send us Fan Mail From awkward first periods and learning how to use a pad, to sadangus and realizing your entire extended family somehow knew what was happening before you did... this episode is all about growing up. We laugh our way through the chaos of figuring out periods, the advice we got (whether we asked for it or not), and the reality of navigating a topic that was somehow both completely...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we unpack one of the most pervasive yet often unspoken issues in the Tamil community: colorism. From childhood comments about staying out of the sun to the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways lighter skin was praised, we explore how we first learned that skin tone could influence how someone was perceived and valued. We reflect on the messages we heard at home, in our...

Send us Fan Mail What’s in a name? More than most people realize. Welcome to Season 2 of Akka's Unsolicited Advice! We're back with a conversation inspired by the recent debate surrounding Indian Americans who anglicize or adapt the pronunciation of their names. While the internet often treats it as a simple choice, the reality is much more personal. In this episode, we share the stories...

Send us Fan Mail Growing up today looks very different than it did for the millennial akkas. In this episode, we hear from a new generation navigating identity in a world that is more diverse, but still full of stereotypes and pressure to conform. We talk about what it means to grow up South Indian when representation is finally increasing and what they feel about culture, language, and belonging....

Send us Fan Mail Growing up South Indian in a mostly Western world meant mastering the art of blending in (or at least trying to). In this episode, we talk about what “fitting in” looked like for millennial Akkas: from lunchbox shame and name fumbling to learning when to be proud and when to push back. We talk about identity, representation, and how we’re raising the next generation to belong with...

Send us Fan Mail We’ve all heard the stereotype: Tamil parents want you to be a doctor, engineer, or at least something with a steady paycheck and no creative risk. But that’s not everyone’s story. In this episode, we talk about parental expectations and how they shape our career choices. Whether your parents had a 5-year plan for you or just wanted you to be happy (?!), we unpack how their hopes,...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we’re breaking the silence around mental health, the kind that gets swept under the rug with a “just be strong.” From the pressure to always keep it together to the stigma around therapy, we unpack how mental health is (or isn’t) talked about in South Indian families. If you were raised to pretend everything’s fine, we’re here to say: you’re not alone. Real Akka s...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we go beyond the initial shock and explore what happens after you tell your family he’s not Tamil. We dig into the real-life aftermath of big feelings, big questions, and sometimes big drama. From managing subtle (and not-so-subtle) comments, to figuring out how to bridge two cultures in a relationship, this episode tackles the emotional and practical challenges t...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we dive into the emotional, funny, and sometimes nerve-wracking reality of dating outside the Tamil culture, especially when it’s time to tell your family. We explore what it means to fall for someone who doesn’t share the same language or customs and how that can bring both joy and tension. Through personal stories and thoughtful reflection, we unpack the fears m...

Send us Fan Mail Our hair holds our history, with Sunday oiling rituals, school photos with tight braids, and the quiet shame of not fitting the “good hair” ideal. In this episode, we talk about unlearning beauty standards, embracing texture, and healing the complicated relationship we’ve had with our hair. Because sometimes, learning to love your curls is learning to love yourself.

Send us Fan Mail Savings, spending, and side-eye from your parents: today we’re talking money. In this episode, we unpack what we were (and weren’t) taught about money, how guilt sneaks into our spending, and what financial independence means for eldest daughters. It’s part therapy session, part budgeting confession, with the usual, unsolicited advice. From navigating “save everything” mindsets to...

Send us Fan Mail Our parents meant well, but love doesn’t always protect us from stereotypes. In this episode, we talk about how gender shaped our upbringing: the expectations placed on daughters, the freedoms given to sons, and how we watched our parents perform their own gender roles. Now that we’re older, we’re learning to question those patterns, challenge the “that’s just how it is” mindset,...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome to Akka’s Unsolicited Advice, the podcast for every eldest daughter who had to figure it all out first. I’m Aarthi: recently graduated physician, lifelong big sister, and expert in unsolicited wisdom. In this intro episode, I’m sharing why we started this podcast, what it means to grow up as the South Indian eldest daughter, and what you can expect from the conversations a...