After Thot

This week Holly sits down with Catherine Donnelly — comedian, actor, yogi, and host of Slate It Till You Make It . Catherine has a lot to say about what she learned across a decade of dating in LA: the relationships that taught her what she wanted, the eight-year partnership that slowly dissolved, and the boundaries she refuses to negotiate away now. She's generous about all of it — nobody gets ca...

Eric was the first person to welcome Holly to the infamous Silver Lake dog park — a fenceless triangle where half the neighborhood shows up with their dogs and a Yeti full of wine every night at 5:30. They've been friends ever since, and Holly was standing right there the day he met the love of his life. Eric is an LA native, a contractor, and an architecture student who built his own backhouse on...

This one's just me, no guest — the first in a new monthly series where I crawl back through my own messy dating history and report what I found. Consider this me stepping out from behind the host chair and onto the stage, banana hammocks and all. We're going back to the summer of 2005, my first field hockey preseason at Oberlin — a tiny, gloriously weird liberal arts school in Ohio where the cool...

This week Holly is joined by Alex Jacobs — NYC-based tutor, musician, the friend-of-her-best-friend she somehow went to Oberlin with for four years without ever meeting, and a certified, gold-medal, dating-app savant. Alex spent his 20s in New York in a string of serial monogamous relationships, drumming in indie bands, and at one point touring the country in a pop duo with a girl he matched with...

Natasha Hunt Lee — musician, events princess behind Stargirls, and LA lifer — pulls up to spill one of the most unhinged dating arcs we've had on the show. We get into growing up in LA with parents who'd never been alone for more than three months in their lives, the cousin's-best-friend-turned-decade-long-relationship she eventually had to blow up, the 6AM DJ ambush at a Hollywood Hills house par...

Holly met Mick Silver about two years ago when he was on a panel at the very first Necterine event — fresh out of grad school, dropping the kind of insights that made Holly walk away thinking, I need to keep talking to this person. Two years later, here we are. Mick is a therapist in LA who specializes in working with men, which means he has a front-row seat to what's actually going on underneath...

Holly met Kate Van Horn during a psychic training over COVID — which tells you basically everything you need to know about the kind of friendship this is. For months they sent voice notes back and forth all day, and Holly had a front-row seat to Kate's full dating thot era: the rotation of guys, the dates that went sideways, the almost-its, and the specific kind of chaos that comes with being comp...

Hannah Ehrlich has spent the last decade helping people find love — building frameworks, coaching clients, matching strangers, and asking the hard questions most people avoid on a first date. And like the rest of us, she's still been in the situationships, still made excuses for the avoidants, still had to learn it the hard way. She's on the other side now. She looks annoyingly good there. This we...

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Cate Pileggi, joins Holly to explain why that irresistible spark might just be your nervous system recognizing a familiar wound. They get into attachment styles, trauma bonds, why your "type" is probably not a type at all, and what healthy attraction actually feels like. Uncomfortable? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely. About Cate Cate Pileggi is a licensed marriage...

Lexie Lombard has been single for most of her 20s — by choice. Spencer Bland came to LA for a slutty era and accidentally fell in love by week three. Together with Holly, they get into divorced dating, cool girl performance, losing parents, and why your dog is actually your best wingman. About Lexie - Lexie Lombard is one of YouTube's early leading creators and host of the Lexie podcast, who has s...

Charlotte Chimes has lived enough romantic lifetimes to fill a TV show — which, actually, she's currently writing. She's also one of Holly's best friends, which means this conversation goes places most podcast guests wouldn't dare. They get into all of it: the chaos, the patterns you can't see until you're out, and what it actually feels like when your nervous system finally exhales. She made it t...

Ever convinced yourself that the butterflies were chemistry — and not, turns out, just anxiety in a trench coat? Yeah. This podcast is for you. After Thot is where dating, love, attachment, and heartbreak finally get the perspective they deserve. Host Holly Sloofman — founder of Necterine and longtime student of her own messy thot era — sits down each week with therapists, comedians, creators, and...